Christmas 2011

Part of the cousin crew, Katelyn, Carson, Dave and Heather

This Christmas was a little different for us in that we didn't do a lot of our traditional Christmas Eve activities. Having a boy who was just a couple of days post-op interrupted some of the usual celebrating. I think the following Christmas morning conversation pretty much sums up how Carson felt about the first 3 days after surgery...

Katelyn received an inspirational quote plaque that said "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I turned to Carson and said, "That quote is perfect for you right now."

Carson: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Well with your surgery...this is your chance to learn to dance in the rain."

Carson: "You get pneumonia from dancing in the rain."



Not too many positive vibes were coming from that boy and he definitely wasn't much interested in trying to find a silver lining to the surgery situation. I felt so bad for him because he really did have a rough first 3 days after surgery.

Good news for everyone was that by Monday night he was feeling better enough to enjoy visiting with his cousins when we saw them on Tuesday.

Bad news was that on Wednesday he and Katelyn got some nasty stomach virus that pretty much emptied out their entire GI tracts, up and down.

Good news was that it was a relatively short-lived gastric episode so we were able to enjoy visiting again and not remain under quarantine. Really good news...no one else got sick. Yay for Lysol wipes!

Other highlights:

• Amazing Christmas dinner made by my mom and dad. Being able to share that dinner with my brother Mike and his family, including his older kids.
• Left-overs on Tuesday night with my brother Nate and his family.
• New camera from Dave which I am totally not prepared for--there are way too many fancy features for me to truly appreciate all that this camera will do.
• Having my mom and dad join Kate and me for Christmas services at our ward building.
• Carson's shoulder muscle spasms finally stopping on Christmas night.

Surgery Day

Today is Carson's shoulder surgery.

Out loud I say "All will be well. This is pretty routine stuff the surgeon will be fixing today."

But if my restless sleep and dreams of last night were any indication of my inner self feelings and thoughts, it would be apparent that I am more nervous and concerned that I am conscious of.

I've been praying.

 I'll keep praying and will pray with Carson before surgery.

We are prepared for the post-op and recovery period. We are borrowing a recliner from Rich & Charlene. Rich even brought his special pillow that he used after his shoulder replacement. We're lying low for the next week or so.

I'll take Josie for a run when we get home so she'll be worn out and will leave Carson alone. The problem will come when my in-laws dogs come on Friday. They are a pretty lively crew when they are all together--Josie, Zoe and Chelogue. But I'll run Josie every day so hopefully that will help.

I'm sure all will be well. This is pretty routine stuff the surgeon is fixing today.

2011 Christmas Letter

David was in charge of this year's Christmas letter. We discussed how the letter should be composed and we both decided it would be easiest to use an idea from our friends, the Steven's. So each family member contributed their input in the catagories of like, dislike, favorite moment, and looking forward to.

It was done in a nice table format, but I can't figure out how to load that table on blogger so you get what you get down below.


David Likes: my kids, fly fishing; Dislikes: wind; Favorite Moment: Yellowstone, Seattle to Portland Bike ride; Looking forward to: spring/summer

Heather Likes: running, blogging, reading; Dislikes: cold, decreased daylight hours; Favorite Moment: Disneyworld; Looking forward to: possible summer road trip

Katelyn Likes:singing, acting; Dislikes: homework, spiders; Favorite Moment: Disneyworld; Looking forward to: spring break in NY, Europe trip, College

Carson Likes: Ice cream; Dislikes:  injuries; Favorite Moment: DisneyWorld; Looking forward to: Driver's license

And the obligatory picture on the Christmas card was from everyone's favorite place, Disneyworld.

Blech, I'm Prodromal

I woke up yesterday with the tell-tale signs of an impending sickness of some sort.

I had a sore throat.

An empty-headed feeling (no snarky remarks about being blonde, thank you very much) even though my ears are plugged up.

A slight "sick to my stomach" feeling

And post-nasal drip. Yuck.

My mantra has been since yesterday morning "I will not get sick. I will not get sick."

So far so good, but I still have my symptoms.

Keeping my fingers crossed that nothing worse comes from these.

Reinforcing Stereotypes

The following is a re-cap of a recent conversation with Carson. He had spent the day at a wrestling tournament. His dad and I showed up in the late afternoon to watch the finals.

Carson: Oh, I have some change for you.

Parent: You only have coins left?

Other parent: Well, he went to breakfast with the team & then had to have lunch. What did you have for lunch?

Carson: Panda {ed. note: that would be Panda Express}.

Parent #2 : Um, how did you get to Panda Express?

Carson: Someone gave me a ride.

Parent #2: Who gave you a ride?

Carson: Brady and he's a really good driver.

Parent #1 (who once was a teen-age boy himself): What makes him a really good driver?

Carson: Well he does all these crazy maneuvers with professional skills. Like he backed out of the parking lot like at 35 miles an hour & turned us around to going forward just like professional driver.

Parent #2 (who never was a teen-age boy, but had brothers): I think we need to work on your definition of "good driver" because that doesn't sound like a good driver to me.

And there you have it...a conversation that reinforces the stereotype that teen-age boys engage testosterone and bravado way before they engage their brains.

Because It's Important

I ran across this YouTube video today on the Runner's World website. The message is about 9 minutes long, but the way it is delivered is very engaging and the message an important one.

It's amazing that just a simple 30 minute walk a day can have such a big impact on overall health. And it appears that it doesn't have to be 30 consecutive minutes. For those who work in an office behind a desk, there are other studies not presented here that demonstrate a 10 minute walk break every hour or so can increase productivity as well as improve health.

So when you see me walking the halls of the schools, I'm not off-task. I'm just trying to take care of myself.

Don't Dis Santa

When I was growing up, our Christmas lists to Santa weren't very long but they did include requests for gifts that might be a little bit out of mom and dad's price range. Santa was the one person we knew could fill that gap. I was so thankful for Santa.

Best Buy is running a series of commercials that I find rude and disrespectful.

It took me a couple of times viewing this commercial to figure out just what it was that bothered me so bad and then it finally hit me...the woman is basically telling Santa, "I don't need you." I find her attitude toward Santa arrogant, condescending, and ungrateful.

I'm sure I am reading much more into this 30 second commercial than Best Buy ever intended, but I thought it a shame that Best Buy thinks we have evolved into a society that is so willing to dismiss Santa. The women in the commercial states, "I guess I didn't leave any room for you." How sad that she would be unwilling to make room for any gifts Santa may have for her, and instead, gloat in her ability to provide for herself. To me, Santa is the personification of gift-giving, love, and service. I might be reaching a bit here, but if our society can say to Santa, "I don't have room for you", what are we saying about Christ, who is the literal ultimate gift-giver, Master of love and service?

What to Give?

I take my gift-giving very seriously. I spend a great deal of time carefully contemplating what would be a gift that would mean the most to the recipient. To me, being able to pick out a gift that is meaningful for the receiver is an expression of love.

But there are a couple of very special people in my life who cause me to scratch my head and wonder just what would be the most meaningful gift. They are at a stage in their lives where they don't need any more stuff and if they did need stuff, they certainly are in a favorable financial position so they could purchase what they want or hire someone to help them or even build/make it themselves.

Every Christmas I worry about what to give them. Today in the mail I received a brochure from World Vision, a Christian humanitarian organization that provides food, animals, medicine, etc. to children throughout the world. The brochure said a donation in someone's name would make a wonderful gift. I paused a moment to think about how I would feel if someone made a donation in my name and said that was their gift to me. I decided I would be OK with that. Then I wondered if that would be very presumptious of me to think that our parents would feel the same way and be OK if we made a donation in our their names & made that our gift to them.  What if they would rather we choose a different organization? Or what if there is something they really want and I somehow have overlooked it?

I've been thinking about this all day and, unfortunately, I am still far from knowing what to do. I ran it by David and he said, after quite a pause, "Hmm, that's odd."

Bother.

Did I Tell You?

• I am trying to run at least a mile every day (except Sunday) between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. So far, so good.Thanks to my various running buddies who are willing to go out with me in the dark. Yes, and that includes Josie, too.
• I am almost done with all of the Christmas shopping. Brothers that live in distant states...your wives' presents have been shipped. Brother in MN, your daughter's present will be shipped this week.
• The first Christmas card of the season arrived today (Loved how you did your letter, Stevens family). I have not done any work on our card yet. I guess I better get busy.
• Carson is scheduled for shoulder surgery on December 22nd. I know, not the best timing, but it was the soonest he could get on the schedule. At least he will have a week at home to recuperate before he has to head back to school.
• I've already been in contact with the school nurse at the high school to get a medical 504 plan in place for Carson since his surgery will be on his right shoulder, he is right-handed, and he will be in an immobilizer for a few weeks. He will need someone to write for him.
• I'm pretty sure that there is something scheduled every night for the next two weeks. Don't worry...there is plenty of cereal in the pantry for dinner.
• Katelyn successfully managed to get her application in to BYU-Idaho by December 1st meeting the early registration deadline. There was a small miracle that occurred with this. On November 29th she finally went to the counseling center and asked the secretary what she needed to do to get her transcripts sent. Secretary told her all fines had to be paid. November 30th I went in to pay her fines & fill out transcript request. I asked the secretary if the transcripts were submitted electronically or mailed. She said they were mailed. I left feeling pretty frustrated  and fed-up with Katelyn for waiting so long. But when Katelyn got on her BYU-I account on December 2nd and it said that her application was complete and transcripts received, we all did a little happy dance. I think we were the recipients of a Christmas miracle.
• Katelyn has not applied to any other schools besides BYU-I and BYU. That causes me stress, but she doesn't seem too worried about it.
• I love snowmen, cookbooks, and Precious Moments ornaments and SugarTown. I have quite a collection of all these things. The cookbooks are on display all year in the beautiful barrister chest my father-in-law made for me. The snowmen and Precious Moments are Christmas decorations. I love it when they are on display at Christmas.
• Pandora radio Christmas station is playing when I am at work on my work computer. At home, we don't listen to much Christmas music. The car radio was turned to the Christmas station the day after Thanksgiving and there it will stay until it no longer plays Christmas music.

And this is what it would be like to have a phone conversation with me...random and rambling.

Thanksgiving Weekend

We Dave and Carson started preparing for Thanksgiving on Wednesday night. Dave signed us up for bringing rolls even after I said I didn't want to bake so I put that back on him. The first batch was cloverleaf rolls, hence all of the little pieces of dough. The second batch was just regular rolls because the boys decided making all those little dough balls was way too time-consuming.

Times like this I wish I could eat wheat. The rolls looked so yummy.



Thanksgiving morning I joined a friend for a 5 mile run before our family headed to Quincy to feast with Dave's family. And what a feast it was, too! Ham AND turkey, all the fixin's, plus so many desserts. Sadly no pictures from the visit.

We came home on Friday afternoon. That night we enjoyed seeing The Muppets movie where I laughed, sang and even danced a little in my seat much to the horror of my children. Dave made a point of buying the large size popcorn and pop just to prove that he doesn't always say "no".

Finally it was Saturday and time to decorate from Christmas. Dave hauled up all of the boxes from the basement and then the kids and I got busy putting out the decorations. Carson put out all the Sugar Town decor while Katelyn and worked on the tree. Carson came in after most of the decorating had been completed to rearrange some of the ornaments put the finishing touches on the tree.

This is how we decorate the top of the tree--the "Dad Stepstool"

Sunday was church and getting ready for the new week.

It was a very nice Thanksgiving weekend.

My Christmas List

Dave and the kids have been bugging me to get a Christmas list written down for them. I told Dave that all I wanted for Christmas was the Honda's brake light finally fixed--it's been out since May and we have had the replacement bulb for awhile. Well, Dave fixed the light last weekend so Christmas came early. I don't feel like I need any more stuff. But Dave said I needed to make a list because he knows "gifts" is one of my love languages and he doesn't want me to feel unloved this Christmas.

Well, family, you forget that right up there with "gifts" is "acts of service" as a love language. So with that in mind, I give you my Christmas list...

• A hug and a kiss every day from my two kids. An "I love you" thrown in occassionally would also be awesome.
• A "Good-bye, Mom" every day as they leave for school.
• A helping hand with dinner or folding laundry.
• Someone besides me to sweep the kitchen floor or vacuum the downstairs regularly, without being asked!
• More expressions of gratitude. A simple "Thanks for scraping my car windows, Mom" would mean so much.

That's it, family. Giving me these things on my this Christmas list would say "I love you" more than anything you could buy for me.

Our DVR

When we up-graded our TV last year, we also up-graded our cable box. The new box came with a DVR. There are two people in this house who use it regularly and often complain that the other has too much saved that is taking up too much space. Those conversations are actually quite comical and each tries to argue why their show should remain on the DVR.

If I list what is usually on the DVR, can you guess who the two high-frequency users are? Here you go...

• Sportsnation
• Trout TV
• North to Alaska fishing show
• Seasons on the Fly
• Various TMC movies: currently there is Spartacus, Gone with the Wind, Citizen Cane, and Adventures of Robin Hood. Over the summer we had Singin' in the Rain, Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, Great Expectations, Music Man, Casablanca, Frankenstein, How the West Was Won, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, All is Quiet on the Western Front

There you have it. Those shows and movies are usually what fill up the space on our DVR.

"Dream with Courage and Flexibility"

I read that quote about a year ago. It was in a newsletter from the Spokane Guild School and came from the WA state chairman to the state disability commission. It struck a chord with me then and from time to time during this past year it has come to my mind. I think it has meant different things to me depending on what my life was like at that time; during the spring and summer I thought of that quote as I was making my goals for the races I wanted to compete in. Today it means something a little different as I think about my children and their dreams.

Dreaming is easy, but it takes courage to turn those dreams into goals. Goals require hard work, and often times, moving outside of the comfortable spot we all seem to want to settle into. Courage is required to continue moving forward even when obstacles appear or the work to achieve seems too hard.

Courage is also needed to be flexible when events beyond your control impede your ability to meet the goals in the way that was originally dreamed. Courage and flexibility are necessary so that the dreams/goals do not define your whole existence. Because when dreams/goals define you, then it is very hard to give up the original dream and move forward on an altered course. Flexibility combined with courage is needed so the new path, maybe even with new dreams, does not feel like a failure.

I love my children dearly. I am so proud of the work that they have both put in recently on their dreams. They set goals and worked towards those goals. Each had their dreams interrupted by events beyond their control. One child has been able to redefine the goal and path. For the other one, the interruption is still too new, too raw to recognize that maybe the dream needs to be redefined.

I'll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want

I was going to write an open letter to my family telling them that what I want, really really want is a hot shower in the morning. However, I discovered that there is something else that I want just a little bit more than a hot shower (although it would be nice to have a hot shower when I'm chilled to the bone in the morning).

So what I want, what I really really want is to be able to look at my childrens' progress reports and shout for joy rather than groan in disappointment. I want my smart, capable children to care enough about their grades to put forth their best effort all the time. I want them to understand that turning in their assignments on time is part of putting forth their best effort. I want them to not tell me every night "No, I don't have any homework" when it is clear that there are things they can be doing. What I want is for them to live up to their potential. I want them to be working harder than me on securing their success in academics.

If I can't have those things, then what I want is to be the kind of mother who won't kick the kids to the curb when they come crying because their first choice college plans don't work out because of their grades and they have no back up plan. Because you know what? My gut reaction would be to be less than sympathetic & say "I told you so. Guess you should have cared a little more about your grades and performance. Good luck out there in the world."

Is that too much?

What I Was Thinking About When I Had Nothing Else To Think About

Every day I have a about 30 quiet moments before work. I use this time for scripture study and prayer.  I try very hard during that time to pay particular attention to thoughts, impressions, or feelings that might enter my mind knowing that those things are often from God to guide me through the day, week, year, or life. I can't say that I have any miraculous revelations to share. Matter of fact, the quietness is sometimes difficult to bear because often (or is it almost always) nothing comes and my mind is a blank. That blankness leaves me feeling "less than". I have been taught my whole life that reading the scriptures will draw me near to God and that prayer is my communication tool with God. I feel like I must be lacking some certain skill in either prayer or listening to seemingly consistently feel like there is a lack of inspiration to guide my path that day.

I'm fortunate that I also get almost 30 minutes every day to have a quiet lunch at my home. I come home in between school assignments. Those 30 minutes are often spent putting left-over cereal bowls in the dishwasher, sweeping the kitchen floor, folding laundry, etc. But today, even though those things needed to be done, I chose to not think about them. Instead I thought about what I was lacking. I pondered on what it would be like to be humble and holy enough to be so in-tune with God that I could be constantly cognizant of His hand directing my life. I wondered what President Monson felt like each day. I was curious to know how the Pope identified the feelings. I thought about my cousins Stephanie, Stacie, and Scott, good Christian peoople who I believe have figured out the secret of keeping God close and hearing His voice. I pictured my dad, who for several years had left God's path, but returned and is able to keep God's will in his view. My mom, also, is an example of being a hearer and doer of God's word. And as I thought about people who are true followers of Christ, the more people who kept coming to my mind.

So what I was thinking about when I had nothing else to think about is how much I want to feel God's words and love in my heart. How I want those 30 minutes of quiet time in the morning to be the uninterrupted stream of personal revelation from God that I dream it could be. I am grateful for those inspirations when they do come and to be honest, I know that I have definitely received inspiration from God throughout my life thus far. I thank God immediately when I recognize the inspirations. I just want to be the type of person who knows that I am not letting God down.

I have a long way to travel on that path.

Farewell Colette

I'm not sure what sparked the idea in the first place. All I know is that about a 9 months ago Carson came home one day from the barber shop with the tiniest little rat tail. He loved that little tail. Much thought was put into naming it. The first suggestion was Remy after the little rat in Disney's Ratatouille. But Carson rejected that suggestion because it had to be a girl's name. Sticking with Ratatouille as inspiration, Colette was selected as the chosen name.

Colette symbolized Carson's quirky personality and willingness to march to the beat of his own drum. Yes, Colette drove me crazy especially as she continued to grow & became more apparent with each haircut. At each haircut, Katelyn would plead with Carson to get Colette cut off. Once she even had a co-worker write Carson a note telling him that the tail just wasn't cool. Dave tolerated the tail better than either Katelyn or I did, but was anxious to see Colette gone. Carson was completely unphased by all of that and stuck by his guns believing that Colette, indeed, was very cool.

But as this year's wrestling season approached he came to the realization that if Colette stayed he would have to wear a hair net under his wrestling headgear. As cool as Colette was in his mind, the prospect of wearing a hair net definitely was not. And so he had a decision to make.

Today he decided to say good-bye to Colette. I asked if he wanted me to take the camera to the barber shop so I could document the farewell. He said no. He also declined the offer of Skittles--the treat we used to keep him still on his very first haircut as a little boy. He said he would hold still all on his own & let Irv do what he needed to do. And so he did.

Carson is now officially Colette-free and ready to get wrastlin'

Jinkies, I Hope It Grows Fast

I have an awesome hairstylist. She pretty much can work miracles with my hair. Unfortunately, the last time I had my haircut I forgot to schedule my next appointment. Because she is so awesome, she is booked and you can't be worked in.

I didn't realize my critical error until too late. And by too late I mean I was way overdue for a haircut and I was ready to cut it myself. Fortunately a friend saved me from another critical error and gave me the name of her hairstylist. I was desparate and so I took her recommendation (especially since she has a really cute haircut).

Well, I went on Friday to get my haircut. I thought I had explained what I wanted, the quirks of my hair (I have some weird wave patterns) and what length I like to wear my bangs. I guess what I had described wasn't what the stylist heard. She got the length right, but pretty everything else went wrong.

I now have a blunt, slightly undercut, chin-length bob with straight across bangs that are about a half inch above my eyebrows.

I look like Velma from Scooby-doo.

You can bet I'm getting on my regular stylist's schedule for 7 weeks from now.

Welcome November

Adios, October. You give me the "blahs" so I can't say I'm sorry to see you go.

Good morning and welcome, November.

I can already tell we are going to get off to a great start since I just saw this on the news...


It is NoShaveNovember!

Yay! A whole month of not shaving?! That's awesome.

Ew, you say?

Well chances are my legs are either going to be covered in long pants, tights, or some other leg covering all winter long so you'll never know.

What about armpits?

Yeah, I will be shaving those because, ew.

Why NoShaveNovember?

The news said it was actually for guys & something about raising awareness for prostate cancer. But I say if the guys can go a month without shaving, so can I.

And with that, November is off to a great start.

Well except for my stupid clock that keeps resetting itself overnight & falling back an hour. It's never been the same since I killed it & it revived itself.

"Just Because"

These arrived at my office today

The card said "Just because"

Sometimes my man really gets it. Today was one of those days.

Moving On

Today was our last visit to the pediatric dentist.

Katelyn is 18 now and found it insulting to be going to a "kids" dentist.

So she will be going to the dentist Dave and I see.

Carson thinks he shouldn't have to see any dentist.

But since he doesn't get to make those decisions, he will be going to the dentist Dave and I see.

So Dave can drag Carson along when he goes to the dentist.

It was strange to say good-bye to people we have seen every 6 months for the last 10 1/2 years.

We said good-bye not because we didn't like their service or because we were moving out of the area.

We said good-bye because we out-grew them and are moving on.

I'm kind-of sad that today came. It was a reminder that the kids are getting older.

We'll miss you KidSmile Dental. It's been great knowing you.

Shadows

As I was eating lunch today I watched the shadows out my backdoor. My deck and backyard were bathed in beautiful sunlight. The trail behind my house was sunny and bright. But just beyond the trail was shaded and in a shadow. I know this is not the first time that I have seen shadow and sun juxtaposed next to each other. But as I watched the shadow today dissipate as the cloud moved ever so slightly and the area that had once been shaded become light, I reflected not only on the post written by friend, Jessica, but also my own life. The shadow and light became a metaphor for life.

On first impulse I thought about the shadow and light being like the old saying: "the light at the end of the tunnel". But I realized that it wasn't quite the same. I thought about my experience biking through a mile-long tunnel on the Hiawatha trail. When in that tunnel it was so dark that I really focused solely on the pinprick of light far in the distance. It was so dark that I couldn't really tell how others in the tunnel were doing. I just kept moving cautiously forward toward the light. And all the while everyone in the tunnel was communicating, encouraging the others forward. It was a relief once we all got to the light at the end of the tunnel.

One might think that just being in the shadow would be easier. After all, you can see everything. Ah, but sometimes it is just the ability to see everything that is the very problem. If being in the shadow is a metaphor for being depressed, feeling down, rejected, etc. seeing people out enjoying the light can be debilitating. The questions of self-doubt and fairness (why me? what's wrong with me? why do they get to enjoy the sun?) begin to creep in even more. And sometimes because the difference between the shadow and light is so subtle, those enjoying the sun may not realize that they are literally standing right next to someone who is in a shadow--just like what I observed out my backdoor today, one side of the trail was in the sun and the other in the shadow. People in the shadow of depression, self-pity, trials, challenges, whatever, need just as much encouragement, communication, prayer, as I did when I was in the dark tunnel. But because we can see each other, we might think all is well and forget about the importance of encouraging words and guiding communication.

But what Jessica (and I) discovered is that the shadow doesn't have to last forever; just the slightest shift in the cloud will let in light that will brighten what once was dark. And while we may not have power to shift the real clouds, we do have the power to shift the metaphorical clouds with God's grace. It will most likely take intentional work, concerted effort, and maybe outside help, but it can be done.

After typing this up I realize it made so much more sense in my head. I hope you were able to catch the gist of what I was trying to say.

He Got One

Well, Dave had a very happy birthday.

He filled his deer tag.

The buck was pronounced dead at approximately 9 a.m.

Dave spent the next 4 hours gutting the deer and hauling it back to the truck.

He was a tired, but happy, birthday boy.

Sorry, Charlie, this is too big to make into a decoration.

Birthday Post: 41

No, this is not my 41st birthday post. It is actually how old the Man turns today. He is out doing manly things for his birthday. Mainly, he and his dad ventured back to the hunting grounds to try and kill a deer for meat this winter.

I don't want to gush on and on about how great he is so I'll just share a few pictures. I think the pictures illustrate the happiness he brings to his nuclear and extended families.



Carson really was happy in this picture. I just caught him between smiles.

Yeah, I pretty much hit the jackpot that night long ago when I sat down next to this wrestler from Elma. He's pretty great, balances my craziness, and makes me laugh almost every single day.

I love you man.

Trying Out a New Voice

Have you seen the Seinfield episode where the guys all comment on Elaine's boyfriend being a close-talker? The guy always had to be right up in their face when he talked with them. Well, I'm not a close-talker, but I am a loud-talker.

My mom says that up until 2nd grade I was a soft-spoken little girl. Then I had Mrs. McCartney as my 2nd grade teacher and she was a loud-talker. I wasn't the same after that year. I don't really remember Mrs. McCartney as a loud-talker, but I do remember that she spoke with authority and the class straightened right up when she spoke.

I liked the thought of speaking with authority so I guess subconsiously I adopted Mrs. McCartney's loud vocalization. Add to that, the fact that I grew up in a large, noisy family (there were 7 of us), and one might begin to understand why I became a loud-talker. My loud-talking gets worse (I mean louder) when I'm excited or passionate about something that I am speaking of.

But I've decided that if I can learn that trait, I can also un-learn that trait. There wasn't some precipitating event for trying to learn to speak in a softer tone. Over the last month or so I have just become more aware of how loud I sometimes speak compared to others around me. And so today, as I was doing vision/hearing screenings, I decided that I was going to try speak in a softer tone. It seemed like a fun challenge for today. It is taking a concerted effort on my part to remember to speak more quietly, but I'm up for trying it out for a few days. We'll see how it goes and if anyone notices.

PS Yes, my hearing is perfectly OK and not the reason for my loud-talking.

An Evening with Kate

The boys left for deer camp yesterday. Katelyn didn't have any plans with friends and I finally didn't have some sort of meeting that kept me from getting home before 8 p.m., so we decided to go see a movie. Katelyn had previously expressed interest in seeing Footloose and since it was not on the boys' "must see" list, going to see Footloose was exactly what Kate and I did last night.

It was a fun night together. We sang out loud the title song when it played in the opening scene. We giggled at the same parts and shifted uncomfortably in our seats at the same time during the "sexed up" scenes (I say "sexed up" compared to the original version). She wouldn't let me take a picture of us together because she said she takes terrible pictures, but I submit to you this picture as evidence that she exaggerates her inability to look good in pictures...




The photo she picked to go in the yearbook.
Photo by Randi Brunt



Today as I thought about our night out last night I realized that our relationship is starting to slowly shift to a different level. Up until now our relationship has really been parent/child but last night it started to feel like a little bit more like friend. I'm not sure that "friend" is exactly the right word but that is the best that I can come up with right now. I know that I will always be her parent and I will always be here to give guidance and advice, but I think now she is close to the time of her life where she learns to fly on her own. I wish I could describe the change I am feeling in a better way, but maybe some parent of grown children can help fill in the gaps of what I am trying to say.

Anyway, it was a fun night and I'm glad that I was able to spend it with Kate.

Homecoming 2011

Katelyn was asked to Homecoming this year. You have no idea how relieved I was when she was asked. The fact that she didn't get asked to any formal dances last year and was only asked to this year's Homecoming 2 weeks before the dance, brought back all of my old anxieties from my high school years. I never got asked to the dances. I only went to a few (3 or 4)  formal dances in high school because I asked the guy. I was crushed. Those feelings of "What's wrong with me?" actually lingered for quite awhile after high school, even though I got married just a year after graduating.

I certainly didn't want to project those feelings on to Katelyn and make her feel that something was wrong with her since she didn't get asked to any dances last year. So I tried not to make a big deal out of things when the dances came and went. That also meant that I didn't ask Katelyn how she was feeling about things. But this year was different. A couple of days before she was asked to Homecoming I asked her how she was feeling about not getting asked to a dance. She said, "It's no big deal. I don't ever get asked any way." I was crushed because I could tell by the tone of voice that it was a big deal and it did bother her. I wanted so bad to take that hurt away.

So, yes, I was so relieved when she was asked. And she was absolutely delighted, thrilled, excited, and almost every other positive adjective you can think of.

And wasn't she beautiful on Homecoming night?

How to Decorate a Curio Cabinet

I have been informed by two of my loyal blog readers that I have not been doing a very good job at keeping up with my blog posts. Apparently they feel that some important happenings have been left undocumented. In order to remedy this, today I will share with you a blog post on decorating.

When Grandma Carol passed away a few weeks ago, David and Carson were called upon to help clear out her apartment. Their efforts were rewarded with one remarkably inappropriate family heirloom and one nice curio cabinet. As long as the family heirloom keeps its barrel on, it is OK and sits on the barrister chest in our kitchen. The curio cabinet was tucked away in a corner of the living room with the thought that I would, at some point in time, fill it up with treasures.

Last Sunday, Carson decided that he would help with filling it with treasures. I heard him fumbling around, rearranging, and carefully placing items for most of the afternoon. I eventually got curious enough to go see what he was so busy placing in the cabinet. This was the scene in the living room...

The boy had decided that the new curio cabinet was the perfect location to display all of his Star Wars figurines and memorabilia. He managed to fill the whole cabinet and still had some things that couldn't fit. I had no idea that he had collected so many Star Wars things. This is the finished product...

Even though it wasn't what I had envisioned going in the curio cabinet, the Star Wars actions will probably stay. They will stay for a couple of reasons. I'm lazy and cheap.

I used to say that I didn't decorate because I didn't really know how to or I didn't have any ideas. Truth be told, I actually do have quite a few good ideas for home decor. I'm just too lazy to actually follow through on those ideas.I don't want to spend my time shopping around for home decor. Decorating isn't really a priority for me so I consider what I've done good enough, even though it is quite minimal.

I also don't like spending money on things that I don't feel are necessities. I realize that home decorating can be done on a budget and even inexpensively, but did you happen to catch the part about me being lazy? Usually decorating inexpensively requires shopping around at thrift stores, garage sales, clearance sales, etc. I have already established that I don't like to do that because it's not a priority and I'm too lazy to dedicate time to things that I don't consider a priority. And I am definitely too cheap to hire a decorator to make up for my lack of initiative and enthusiam regarding decorating.

So, since Carson took the initiative to fill the curio cabinet with his Stars Wars things and I'm too lazy and cheap to spend any time looking for other things to put in the cabinet, that little Star Wars shrine will probably remain intact either until Carson decides he wants those things at his own house someday or I die.

I wonder which will come first?



18 Years Old, Today

In the past 18 years, this cute little baby...

has grown into this beautiful young woman...

She's pretty dang awesome.

Instead of me listing why I think she is awesome,

if you know her,

please leave a comment

on why you think she is awesome.

Happy Birthday my sweet Kate.

What You Can't Do Without Parent Permission when You are 17 years and 361 days old

Katelyn has known since she was 12 years old that she could get her ears pierced any time she wanted. She gets terrible anxiety just thinking about getting her ears pierced. It probably has to do with hearing my ear-piercing story one too many times. Her father's rendition of the ear-piercing scene in Parent Trap also was overwhelming for her and not the least bit comforting. So she has just avoided this rite of passage. Up until last night that is.

Last night her best friend texted her and said "I get off at 7. Do you want to finally go get your ears pierced?" I should mention that this friend has a bucket list of things for Katelyn to do--ear-piercing, having a smoothie from Jamba Juice, things of that nature. Anyway, Katelyn texted back, "Sure." Since Dave, Carson and I were heading out to the Homecoming football game, we thought it would be a good thing for her to do with her friend. The only caution I gave her was to think carefully about the ear rings she picked because she would have to wear them for 6 weeks without changing them.

About half-time, Dave gets a phone call from Katelyn. Apparently minors can't get any piercings done without a parent being present. I should have been more sympathetic, but I started laughing as soon as I heard her predicament. She begged and pleaded for Dave to come to the mall and sign the form. Dave quickly handed me the phone, stating "I'm too much of a softy. You talk to her." I told her there was no way I was coming to the mall. She asked me to give the phone back to Dave so she could talk to him again. I did and surprise of all surprises, Dave stuck to his guns and said he wasn't going to make it to the mall. I did tell her before I handed the phone back to Dave that I would be glad to take her the next day (today) to get her ears pierced.

So today was the day. Katelyn and I returned to the shop she was at last night. One of the girls that was working today, was working last night and remembered Katelyn. Katelyn picked out a nice pair of CZ ear rings and prepared for the gun.

Oh, I need to interrupt here and say that her friend managed to convince her to get her ears pierced by telling her that at this shop they put a numbing cream on your ears and you don't feel a thing. Story continues...

So Katelyn is sitting in the chair and asks about the numbing cream. The ear piercing lady said that they don't use the cream for ears because it doesn't make any difference. Katelyn just about called it quits right then, but the lady did a pretty good job at letting her know everything would be alright. She then proceeds with cleaning Katelyn's ear lobes and drawing the location dots on her lobes.

So far, so good. The lady calls over another girl to come and help so that they could do both ears at once. I know they could tell Katelyn was nervous and wanted to do both ears at the same time to get it over with. Well, now Katelyn is saying "I don't think I can do this. I really don't think I can do this." The store is starting to fill with customers and the ear-piercing ladies are getting a little frustrated. They put both guns up to Katelyn's ears and...



She pulls away and covers her ears. Ugh!

The ladies say that they will give us a minute and will wait on the other customers. Poor Kate is almost in tears at this point and feels bad because she knows we can't get our money back. I told her it was OK and that if she wanted to leave she could. She kind-of gathered herself together and I let her just sit and calm down.

While she was sitting, I causually walked up to the counter and asked the ladies if they couldn't please just put some numbing cream (or a placebo for all I cared) on her ears. I told them that really would make all the difference for her. One of the ladies finished up with her customer and put some cream on Kate's ears.

Holy cow, once that cream was on (still not sure if it was the real stuff or not), Kate, while not completely comfortable, was at least able to count them down and followed through on getting her ears pierced. It was over before she could even blink.

Yay!

She did say after we left the store how embarrassing her level of anxiety and refusal to let them pierce her ears was. I just agreed and said she needs to retrain her brain and find some better coping skills.

I took her out for a celebration lunch after that.

Finally, Not Cold Cereal

I finally planned ahead and got a dinner prepared for tonight.

It was nothing fancy. Oven bbq'd chicken, carrot sticks, fruit.

I was so proud of myself to finally have prepared a family meal.

I think it was the first time for this school year.

But it was just Carson and me.

That seems to be how it has gone since school started, one or two somebody's are always gone for dinner.

I think that's why we usually just have cold cereal.

Heaven help us when we are empty-nesters. I won't want to be bothered at all to cook.

And eating out is too much of a bother.

Poor Dave. He better improve his culinary skills for his own benefit and survival.

He has a couple of years to figure it out.

Or be prepared to buy stock in a cold cereal company.

I'm Here, Really I Am

Things have been busy.

Busier than usual it feels like.

The last two weeks, we have had something on the calendary every night. (sometimes more than one thing).

I can't even remember everything that has kept us out of the house.

If you saw our kitchen table you would know we have been busy.

Because it is covered with papers.

It only gets covered with papers when we haven't been home to eat family dinners.

We've gone through almost 12 boxes of cereal the last 2 weeks because that is our "go to" meal when things are crazy.

I want things to become less busy.

But busy is actually good.

It keeps my mind off of things like the fact that Katelyn is a senior and turning 18 in a couple of weeks.

Busy also keeps me distracted from the sadness I feel about Grandma Carol's passing.

She passed this morning. She will leave a hole that will never completely fill.

Busy helps fill the hole. But sometimes during the busy, I find myself tripping over that hole and then my eyes starting leaking because of the hurt.

Champagne Dreams on a Beer Budget

We are shopping for a new car.

I don't like the process at all.

We are in a transition time, not quite ready to completely get rid

of the SUV, but also ready for something a little smaller.

I want something with the bells and whistles.

I'm ready for something with the bells and whistles.

Our finances can't quite support something with the bells and whistles.

Because we pay cash for our cars.

The SUV has been a good car, but it's starting to show its age.

We would like to replace it sooner rather than later.

Did I already mention that our cash reserves are not quite there yet?

So what are we looking for?

I have no idea!

But here are my must haves:

Somewhat practical...

(meaning cargo area for the dog & gear)

Good gas mileage

Reliable

Under 30,000 miles

Heated leather seats

Dual front power seats

Sunroof

All-wheel drive

Power liftgate

Rear back-up sensors

Sirius radio set-up

Bluetooth capability

Smokin' deal

Any suggestions?

Blech, It was a Long Week

I forget how hard it is to adjust to the working full-time gig. The lazy days of summer overnight turn into a frenetic-paced long days of work. Everyone is tired, which causes crankiness. The crankiness raises the stress level of all family members and tension in the house is palpable. I know it will calm down after a couple of weeks, but for now it's "blech."

There isn't a first day of school picture because the kids didn't have to go to school until 11:15 a.m. on the first day of school; therefore, they weren't ready when I had to go to school. I missed documenting Katelyn's "last first day of school." Blech. But at least I got a "second day of school" picture. And for some reason, the picture is turning out all fuzzy when I post it to the blog. Blech.

I'm so inundated with paperwork at work that I haven't been able to see any kiddos. Blech.

Carson missed his first driver with the driving school. That cost us an additional $30. Blech.

Katelyn got to the testing center late so she couldn't take her ACT. She called to tell me that and I really snapped at her. Blech.

Worrying about Katelyn getting into college totally stresses me out. When I'm stressed, I turn into a not very nice mom. Blech.

I thought I finally found a new car to buy. The sales manager was a total jerk and kept us waiting for the numbers while he was out smoking a cigarette. Then once he found out we weren't interested in financing, he was no longer interested in negotiating selling the car. We wasted a whole afternoon. Blech.

Last night we went to the fair. But Katelyn refused to go. I was hoping that she would grant us just this one last "going to the fair as a family" tradition. But she didn't. Blech.

Today is 9/11/2011. It is the 10th anniversary of the terror attacks on the United States. And now I seem like a total jerk and whiner for blogging about how bad my week was last week. Blech.

It's got to get better next week, right?

A Parenting Success? I Think So.

Carson doesn't usually offer up much talk about what was discussed in priesthood class, even when prodded and asked specific questions. And he for sure doesn't bring it up on his own, except for today. Today, the lesson irritated him and he told us all about it. It was a good conversation.

The lesson was on the delicate nature of women. The teacher spoke of how women needed to be treated with care because they are delicate. He also stated that women should stay home and cook and clean, but shouldn't be expected to do such things as yard work. Ugh! Are you kidding me? I had no idea this was still a commonly held notion taught to the young men. Carson was so offend by this lesson because he felt that it greatly diminished women and made women sound as if they didn't have any ability to fend for themselves or express any sort of coherent, intelligent thought.

I was so proud to hear that Carson had the good sense to state that in our family everyone is treated equally and that he wasn't buying into the notion that "women are delicate". The teacher didn't believe that was really the case. The teacher told Carson that he thought surely the girls in our family would never be asked to do such a thing as scoop up the dog poop because "they were daddy's little princesses." Carson replied that indeed it is Katelyn who scoops the yard while Carson mows. He also went on to say that he unloads the dishwasher and Katelyn loads it. Carson could have also shared that they are expected to sort their own laundry on laundry day, help fold the clothes, and are responsible for putting away their own clothes. He also could have shared how I am the one who pays the bills and has a better idea of the budget although major purchases are discussed between both parents, and sometimes the whole family. Carson could have shared that I have a higher college degree than David. But I think he shared enough to get the point across that while women need to be treated with respect, they do not need to be treated as delicate, fragile flowers.

The conversation then turned to what lessons are presented in Young Women's. Katelyn said that the young women's lessons usually revolve around how the girls have to help the young men honor their priesthood and not behave immorally because, you know, boys will be boys and all they think about is sex. I find this message as equally disturbing as the message that Carson heard in priesthood. Basically, the girls are being taught that men are bad and it's only the sweet-spirited girls who can save them from themselves. Fortunately, Katelyn realizes that boys are responsible for themselves and she is responsible for herself and her actions. She expects boys to treat her with respect, and she treats them with respect.

We finished the discussion stating that if you just treat everyone with respect, you can't go wrong. We also talked about the fact that whether you are a girl or a boy does not automatically relegate you to certain roles. You can pretty much do anything you set your mind to. David and I both testified that above all else, being a parent is the best job in the world and we loved both of them very much and were proud of them for standing up and sharing how things work in our family.

Whisperings of the Spirit

Last Sunday's lesson was on Elder Bednar's talk The Spirit of Revelation. There were the usual stories shared about how listening to the Holy Ghost and following the prompting provided an immediate manifestation that the right thing had been done. The teacher did try to acknowledge that not always do the manifestations come quickly. One sister shared that is how her husband felt about their move to Spokane--they felt very inspired/prompted to move, but thus far no overt sign of why they are here has been given. But even with the teacher guiding the discussion towards "we don't always know right away why we received a certain prompting" and the sister sharing her story, the other comments kept revolving around the theme of immediate manifestation. Up until about 10 months ago, this lesson would have left me feeling very sad and incomplete because most of my interactions with the Spirit have revolved around inspiration of where to find a lost/misplaced object (usually my car keys or wedding ring).  I identified myself in the quote from Elder Bednar:

We as members of the Church tend to emphasize marvelous and dramatic spiritual manifestations so much that we may fail to appreciate and my even overlook the customary pattern by which the Holy Ghost accomplishes His work...I have talked with many individuals who question the strength of their personal testimony and underestimate their spiritual capacity because they do not receive frequent, miraculous, or strong impressions. (emphasis added).

I am guilty of the emphasis added part. I often doubted by spiritual capacity because I didn't have what I considered quintessential stories of personal revelation. I felt like a failure and a fake because I didn't seem to be the visiting teacher who had the inspiration to drop off a plate of cookies at the right time. Or the neighbor who just "knew" that someone needed to be visited at that very moment. I was never a missionary who was guided to just the right door. I felt like I must not be doing something right because I didn't have any dramatic stories to share.

Oh and how I wanted to have some of those stories. I prayed fervently that I might be that inspired visiting teacher, neighbor, member missionary, etc. I tried hard to be in tune with the Spirit and sensitive to His whisperings. I remember one time that I thought for sure that I had felt an inspiration to visit a certain sister. I thought as I was driving to her house, "yes, finally I will be that person who come just at the right moment." And yet when I arrived at the sister's house all well was well. I'm sure she was glad for my visit, but she sure didn't appear to need anything and she didn't express that she had been praying for someone to visit. I left feeling defeated and questioning whether I felt the Spirit at all. Another time I thought I felt inspired to give a copy of the Book of Mormon to a dear friend. I was nervous to do so, but I felt the inspiration. I trusted the advice given in all the lessons and talks about missionary work that if we just follow the inspiration everything will work out and often times the friendship will be strengthened. Unfortunately, that was not my experience. My friend slowly began to distance herself from me and never acknowledged receiving the Book. Again, I felt like a failure and questioned why in the world I was not hearing the Holy Ghost properly.

I believe that those feelings of inadequacy were significant contributors to my crisis of faith last October. Why should I continue with being a Mormon, if I couldn't even correctly identify the whisperings of the Holy Ghost and didn't have any stories to show how righteously I was living. In my mind, righteous living was evidenced by the number of stories you had to share about following promptings and immediately seeing the results. My inspiration to find lost items seemed so elementary, nay, rudimentary. Shouldn't I be more developed than that in my relationship with the Holy Ghost? After all, I have been a member whole life and received the gift of having the Holy Ghost as my constant companion at age 8. As I struggled with my weakening testimony, I turned once again to my Heavenly Father and He did indeed answer my prayers.

He enlightened my mind. I realized that the types of stories I was seeking to add to my life were not necessarily my gift. The Holy Ghost whispered to me at other times and for other purposes. The Spirit always guided me as I was writing the Primary program for the years I was serving in the Primary Presidency. He always guides me as I prepare talks or lessons. I have people witness to me that His presence has been felt as I have given the lesson and guided the discussion. I really can't discount those inspirations for finding lost objects; those are small manifestations to me that my Heavenly Father loves me and is concerned about all aspects of my life. Most importantly the Holy Ghost provides inspiration and guidance in decisions that will be important to my family.

I am grateful for Elder Wirthlin's wise words:

The Lord did not people the earth with a vibrant orchestra of personalities only to value the piccolos of the world. Every instrument is precious and adds to the complex beauty of the symphony. All of Heavenly Father's children is different to some degree, yet each has his own beautiful sound that adds depth and richness to the whole.

I have learned that we all hear the whisperings of the Spirit in different ways and for different purposes. Some are gifted to hear the whisperings that guide them to the soul that is in need of comfort or direction. Others are gifted to hear the whisperings to save them or someone else from danger. And still others are gifted to hear the whisperings of the Holy Ghost as lessons, talks (and maybe even blog posts) are prepared.

I've also learned that I am OK and when I find myself starting to compare myself to others I just remember the words of Elder Wirthlin. And the words on a small figurine I used to have when I was young, "God don't make no junk."

Blog-writing Brain Block

I have several ideas for blog posts, but my brain is tired and sitting down to blog causes all thoughts to flee immediately. But I was productive in other ways today.

I bottled 10 quarts of peaches. I took Carson back-to-school clothes shopping. It was easier than expected and we were successful in the endeavor. We also made a short trip to Costco. And I made a ymmy dinner for Dave and me--grilled portabello burgers with provolone cheese. Carson balked at eating the mushroom burger so he had a bowl of cereal.

Tomorrow is a full work day reviewing immunization records and getting geared up for the first day of school. And maybe I'll get one of those post ideas blogged.

Trying Not to Fail at Parenting

OK, Mom and Dad, you can now rest comfortably knowing that what goes around does indeed come around. This week has been a rough week with one particular teen-ager. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm trying to ruin her life. The other night she asked when we were going to cut the leash that we have on her.

Then yesterday on the way home from church we were having the same tired conversation we have had all week and she said to me "Do you even know what it is to be a teen-ager?" I guess she figured I had just somehow skipped from 12 to 20, missing all of those years in between. The problem is that I remember quite well what it is to be a teen-ager and the realities of being a teen-ager so of course that knowledge/memories will be employed while parenting of teen-agers.

But just to make sure that I'm not being overly harsh and a total kill joy, I'll ask for your opinion on the situation. Would you let your teen-age daughter go with several friends (boys and girls) to Leavenworth for a tubing trip? There will be no parents going so the kids will be driving themselves in one car, maybe 2 depending on the number of kids going. It's a four hour drive with much of it on a 2-lane highway.

I'm sure you can probably guess what our answer was since the teen-ager is accusing of us of keeping her on a leash. And she is mad that we have been completely unapologetic about our answer.

Wow, That Was Totally Inappropriate

Dave wrestled in college. He spent a lot of time at the gym and athletic training room. Dave was also pretty bad at reading flirting or come-ons. He was hit on A LOT by girls who were working in the training room. Dave would come home at least twice a week telling me about another girl who had asked him out. I would often laugh as he was recounting the conversation because it was pretty clear how clueless he was that the girl was working up to asking him out. It never bothered me that he would come home with these stories.

However, today Dave came home with a story that really got my hackles up. Apparently at his place of employment there is a group of ladies who often make comments about how the guys dress, how they look, the guys' bodies, etc. Now I suppose if they kept their comments to themselves I would give them a pass, but today they totally crossed the line.

Dave's recounting of the incident goes something like this. He walked in to the area where these ladies work to discuss some work situation with one of them. As he approaches the ladies hush their voices and start to laugh. Dave asked what was so funny. One of the ladies said "Nothing. We were just wondering if we rubbed your stomach could we feel ripples?" Dave said "You will never find out." He also told them that their question was not appropriate.

Dave was totally taken aback by these ladies brashness. I think he must have spent all day worrying that the shirt he wore today was too tight because almost immediately upon walking in the door tonight he said to me, "Is this shirt too tight?" I almost didn't take his question seriously because I don't think David owns any shirts that would be classified as "tight". But I assured him that the shirt was not tight and then I told him that the ladies were way out of line for saying something like that to him.

So while my husband getting asked out on a date might have been funny when we were in college (disclaimer: David never wore his wedding ring in the gym or training room so the girls didn't know he was married), having a group of ladies now asking to rub my husband's stomach is not only not humorous, it is inappropriate and offensive.

What happened to boundaries and common decency?

It's Only a Little More Than a Mile

A funny thing happens to one's sense of distance when one routinely runs distances greater than 5 miles. Your sense of what is far and not far changes. What once seemed far and impossible, now is short and totally doable. That's what I noticed today.

This afternoon I had a Relief Society presidency meeting. The meeting was at the secretary's house. Her house is only a little over a mile away from my house. I had been driving around all morning doing errands and the last thing I wanted to do was get back in the truck and drive to her house. So I decided to walk.

It felt good to walk. As I was walking, I thought about how my perspective about distances had changed. A few years ago, a mile would have seemed far. Now? Just a short little 20 minute walk.

While I was walking I wondered if the pioneers had the same type of shift in perspective and that is how they were able to walk and walk and walk each day. And then I wondered if it was really hard to get going on Monday and Monday's miles seemed much harder than the rest of the weeks?

Blowing His Mind

This week I've done a few things that have completely surprised Dave.

First, fly-fishing. I didn't actually go fly-fishing, but I did attend a fly-fishing class on Tuesday.

Granted, it was a Relief Society activity.

And David was the one teaching.

But, still, I was there and tried my best to learn how to cast a fly line.

David is blown away thinking I might fish with him someday.

Second, hemming. Yes, I did indeed hem a pair of pants for David.

Dave often jokes that he had to a have daughter so his buttons can be sewn on

and his pants hemmed.

He's not far off.

Except, I think he should learn how to do those things himself.

Not his daughter (or wife).

But, Wednesday I took pity on him and hemmed a pair of pants for him.

David is blown away with the knowledge that I can actually hem.

Third, first drives.

Carson got his permit yesterday.

Dave and I decided long ago that he would be the one

to take the kids out on their first drives.

But since I was on a roll surprising Dave,

I took Carson on his first drive.

It was only in the CV high school parking lot.

I only said "Carson!" once.

Dave was blown away when he learned I actually did

take Carson on his first drive.

What a fun week.

Should be good for a few reciprocal surprises for our anniversary.

Which is coming up in a couple of weeks.

I Wonder if I Need a High Sodium Diet

Saturday morning I tried to run 8 miles with a group of friends. I prefer to run early (5 a.m.) before it gets too hot. These ladies balk at the thought of running before 7, particularly on a Saturday. I really wanted to run with them because I think they're pretty cool and we had to discuss my recent post on the VLC. So, even though it was pushing the high 60's on Saturday morning, I joined them.

I prepared well that morning, getting up early to make sure I had taken in enough fluids. This included 4 oz of water at about 2 hours before the run and then 8 oz of electrolyte drink 1 hour before the run. Fifteen minutes before I ran, I took 2 Shot Bloks. I also took a gu with me on the run along with the electrolyte drink. I'm not sure what else I should have done to prepare and care for myself on the run.

I didn't wear my Garmin (oh yeah, I got a new one for my birthday) so I'm not sure what our pace was. I do know that we were able to have a good discussion about the VLC as well as talking to kids about sex. I was really enjoying being with these ladies. Nevertheless, I'm guessing it was about mile 4 when I started to notice auras in front of my eyes. The next mile or so included chills, decreased sweating, tingling in my hands, and occassional dizziness. It was probably around mile 6 when I sent the ladies on their way and I finished the last mile and 3/4 on my own alternating running with walking.

You have no idea how frustrating this is for me! I'm a good runner, but add a little heat and I crumble. My body just can't do it and I feel like a complete wimpy idiot. As I was finishing the run, I was thinking about what else I could do and about how badly I had to pee. The fact that my body was telling me I had to pee was frustrating because, as far as I was concerned, there shouldn't have been any fluid left in my body with how crappy my run was going. And no, this sense of full bladder had nothing to do with having a couple of kids and now being 40. I had to stop at the Athletic Club so I could use the bathroom. Warning: TMI to follow. My urine was almost completely clear and it wasn't just a couple of drops.

That made no sense to me so I got to wondering if I lose too much sodium through my sweat (I look like I'm frosted before I'm done running) and if that sodium loss interferes with my body's ability to use the water that I do take in. If water is supposed to be used to aid in cooling, and my body isn't using it efficiently, maybe that is why I can't tolerate the heat. I don't even know if that makes sense. I also wonder if my spongey kidney impacts this whole sodium/water balance.

While running, I realized that this isn't the first time that I have had the full bladder issue during a run. But interestingly enough, it only occurs during the runs where the temp is greater than 60 degrees and I feel too hot. That is what started me thinking about the water/sodium balance. I meant to write that with the original post, but hit "publish" before I typed it.

The VLC

Have you heard of the VLC? I wasn't real familar with this particular club until a couple of months ago when I was walking with some ladies from church. They were speaking about the club and hoping that their daughters would maintain their membership until after high school. The moms were also talking about the incentives/rewards being offered to the daughters if they remained a member. Since I wasn't familar with the club and the moms were talking about significant chunks of change being offered to their daughters, I finally asked what the VLC was.

The answer....

The Virgin Lips Club

I hadn't ever heard of such a thing. I asked about "membership" for boys and if I remember correctly, the moms didn't indicate that the same incentives were offered to their boys. It would have never occurred to me to offer Katelyn some serious money in exchange for her never kissing a boy while she is in high school. But now that she is going out on an "outing" tomorrow with a boy from work, I may be interested in learning more about this "club".

Of course offering this option to Katelyn would mean that I would have to ignore all that I think is wrong with this "club". I don't like the double standard that appears to be set up by only focusing on the girls never kissing a boy. Of course, each family sets up their own membership standards so obviously if this were established in our family, both children would be offered the opportunity. However, the biggest problem I have with this club is I don't believe people should be paid for obedience. Paying for obedience delays the important transition of learning to obey out of love rather than thought of reward. I think the teen-age years, with all of the establishing of independence, maturing, etc., are the perfect time to begin making this transition to a more mature level of obedience.

Lowering the Rope and Bringing It Back Up

I'm teaching in Relief Society next Sunday. I've known for about a month that I would be teaching so I have been thinking about teaching topics. A few weeks ago I was reading an article in the Ensign. The article was about Christ as the Living Water and drinking deeply from the His well.

As I was reading, this paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks...

I wonder if we who get clean water from taps in our homes

sometimes expect to come to Christ with the same ease

as turning a knob to get a glass of water.

I must have reread that particular paragraph 3 or 4 times as I thought about how that applies to my life. I pictured the living water in the bottom of a well. Reading scriptures, attending my meetings, praying, etc. are the things that lower the bucket to the water, but what must I do to get the bucket back up so I can partake of the water? Hefting the rope back up takes work and I think that is what that particular paragraph was saying to me.

I spent my devotional time at Young Women's Camp contemplating the work that I must do to get the bucket back up. Reading scriptures, attending meetings and praying are all relatively easy for me, and while important, are not necessarily enough to  allow me to feel fully filled by Christ. My work is going to include such things as being more grateful for all of my blessings and expressing that gratitude more often; continuing to discover and develop those talents that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with and using those talents to glorify God (Matthew 5:16); continuing to serve; finding and expressing charity (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7); and giving away all my sins to know God (Alma 22:18).

As the last item, giving away all my sins, came into my mind I really stopped to think about that. I know there are things I hold on to just because they are easy and familar and sometimes change is hard. It's easy to be sarcastic. Sometimes it's easier to hold onto the belief that I am right rather than apologize and move on. Oh, there are so many more, but those are two are the only ones I choose to admit to right now.

So, what do you think? Will this make a good Relief Society Lesson?

Happy Birthday, Boy

Dear Carson,

Today you turn 15. I can hardly believe that 15 years has passed by so quickly. I'm sure I will say that last part every year-- "I can't believe (insert year) has passed by so quickly."

Having you as a member as our family has been a true blessing. Your quirky sense of humor has provided many stories that will live on for years and years. Your questioning nature, while at times frustrating for parents, will serve you well as you learn and grow. I just caution you to always be mindful of the Holy Ghost and continually pray to our Heavenly Father as you are seeking for answers and understanding.

Yellowstone, July 2011

You spent this last week in Yellowstone with your dad and Grandpa Graham. I can tell that your love cupboard was filled during this last week as you got to spend quality time with those two. How can I tell? Because your eyes were bright and your wonderful smile was on your face all night. I was also able to tease you a little about all of the cute girls I met while I was at Girl's Camp and how I could fix you up at the next stake dance. We'll try to keep that cupboard filled so we can enjoy your smile and laugh.

You are a hard worker, even though sometimes it takes a little pushing to get you going. Learning to work hard is an important life skill and will be necessary as you venture out on your own. Your father is a wonderful example of a hard worker. Watch and learn from him. You will learn from him that you can work hard but also play hard once the work is done. Learn to apply that work ethic not just to physical labor but also to your schooling.

Work on strengthening your relationship with your sister. When you were younger, you two were very close. When we would visit Grandpa Lee and Grandma Flo, the two of you would play together all day in the lake. Grandma Flo often commented on how wonderful it was that you two were such great friends. I know that as you get older it is easy to drift apart as you each become involved in your own activities and find other friends. I get that. But I would still encourage you to take the time to find out what fills her love cupboard so that you can find that friendship once again. (Yes, of course, I will give this same advice to your sister, but today this letter is to you.)

I love you, Boy. I love being your mom.

Love,
Mom