A Parenting Success? I Think So.

Carson doesn't usually offer up much talk about what was discussed in priesthood class, even when prodded and asked specific questions. And he for sure doesn't bring it up on his own, except for today. Today, the lesson irritated him and he told us all about it. It was a good conversation.

The lesson was on the delicate nature of women. The teacher spoke of how women needed to be treated with care because they are delicate. He also stated that women should stay home and cook and clean, but shouldn't be expected to do such things as yard work. Ugh! Are you kidding me? I had no idea this was still a commonly held notion taught to the young men. Carson was so offend by this lesson because he felt that it greatly diminished women and made women sound as if they didn't have any ability to fend for themselves or express any sort of coherent, intelligent thought.

I was so proud to hear that Carson had the good sense to state that in our family everyone is treated equally and that he wasn't buying into the notion that "women are delicate". The teacher didn't believe that was really the case. The teacher told Carson that he thought surely the girls in our family would never be asked to do such a thing as scoop up the dog poop because "they were daddy's little princesses." Carson replied that indeed it is Katelyn who scoops the yard while Carson mows. He also went on to say that he unloads the dishwasher and Katelyn loads it. Carson could have also shared that they are expected to sort their own laundry on laundry day, help fold the clothes, and are responsible for putting away their own clothes. He also could have shared how I am the one who pays the bills and has a better idea of the budget although major purchases are discussed between both parents, and sometimes the whole family. Carson could have shared that I have a higher college degree than David. But I think he shared enough to get the point across that while women need to be treated with respect, they do not need to be treated as delicate, fragile flowers.

The conversation then turned to what lessons are presented in Young Women's. Katelyn said that the young women's lessons usually revolve around how the girls have to help the young men honor their priesthood and not behave immorally because, you know, boys will be boys and all they think about is sex. I find this message as equally disturbing as the message that Carson heard in priesthood. Basically, the girls are being taught that men are bad and it's only the sweet-spirited girls who can save them from themselves. Fortunately, Katelyn realizes that boys are responsible for themselves and she is responsible for herself and her actions. She expects boys to treat her with respect, and she treats them with respect.

We finished the discussion stating that if you just treat everyone with respect, you can't go wrong. We also talked about the fact that whether you are a girl or a boy does not automatically relegate you to certain roles. You can pretty much do anything you set your mind to. David and I both testified that above all else, being a parent is the best job in the world and we loved both of them very much and were proud of them for standing up and sharing how things work in our family.