What I Was Thinking About When I Had Nothing Else To Think About

Every day I have a about 30 quiet moments before work. I use this time for scripture study and prayer.  I try very hard during that time to pay particular attention to thoughts, impressions, or feelings that might enter my mind knowing that those things are often from God to guide me through the day, week, year, or life. I can't say that I have any miraculous revelations to share. Matter of fact, the quietness is sometimes difficult to bear because often (or is it almost always) nothing comes and my mind is a blank. That blankness leaves me feeling "less than". I have been taught my whole life that reading the scriptures will draw me near to God and that prayer is my communication tool with God. I feel like I must be lacking some certain skill in either prayer or listening to seemingly consistently feel like there is a lack of inspiration to guide my path that day.

I'm fortunate that I also get almost 30 minutes every day to have a quiet lunch at my home. I come home in between school assignments. Those 30 minutes are often spent putting left-over cereal bowls in the dishwasher, sweeping the kitchen floor, folding laundry, etc. But today, even though those things needed to be done, I chose to not think about them. Instead I thought about what I was lacking. I pondered on what it would be like to be humble and holy enough to be so in-tune with God that I could be constantly cognizant of His hand directing my life. I wondered what President Monson felt like each day. I was curious to know how the Pope identified the feelings. I thought about my cousins Stephanie, Stacie, and Scott, good Christian peoople who I believe have figured out the secret of keeping God close and hearing His voice. I pictured my dad, who for several years had left God's path, but returned and is able to keep God's will in his view. My mom, also, is an example of being a hearer and doer of God's word. And as I thought about people who are true followers of Christ, the more people who kept coming to my mind.

So what I was thinking about when I had nothing else to think about is how much I want to feel God's words and love in my heart. How I want those 30 minutes of quiet time in the morning to be the uninterrupted stream of personal revelation from God that I dream it could be. I am grateful for those inspirations when they do come and to be honest, I know that I have definitely received inspiration from God throughout my life thus far. I thank God immediately when I recognize the inspirations. I just want to be the type of person who knows that I am not letting God down.

I have a long way to travel on that path.