The answer....
The Virgin Lips Club
I hadn't ever heard of such a thing. I asked about "membership" for boys and if I remember correctly, the moms didn't indicate that the same incentives were offered to their boys. It would have never occurred to me to offer Katelyn some serious money in exchange for her never kissing a boy while she is in high school. But now that she is going out on an "outing" tomorrow with a boy from work, I may be interested in learning more about this "club".
Of course offering this option to Katelyn would mean that I would have to ignore all that I think is wrong with this "club". I don't like the double standard that appears to be set up by only focusing on the girls never kissing a boy. Of course, each family sets up their own membership standards so obviously if this were established in our family, both children would be offered the opportunity. However, the biggest problem I have with this club is I don't believe people should be paid for obedience. Paying for obedience delays the important transition of learning to obey out of love rather than thought of reward. I think the teen-age years, with all of the establishing of independence, maturing, etc., are the perfect time to begin making this transition to a more mature level of obedience.
5 comments:
Ohh this one is tricky...definitely a good running topic! Let's go this week, what does your Thursday look like? I will text you.
I'm not one for unenforcable, "take my word for it" pledges as you may remember. You act on your principles or you don;t & cash should not be involved at all. Several years ago "Virginity" or "Chastity" pledges were all the rage in the South - what they discovered was NO decrease in sexual activity in the teens that took the pledges - they just became very creative in finding things that they didn't think violated the pledge to engage in. There was actually a rise in STD's & promisuity because they had convinced themselves that these alternitives they had discovered "weren't really sex." REALLY???! um no - they were certainly wrong there. Katelyn needs to be able to say "No" and call home if need be. Sadly, we still have to go over these things with the YSA from time to time, too.
I was first introduced to the VLC in college (by girls who were in it) and at the time thought it was weird. I never thought it was something that the girls' parents had initiated. Maybe times have changed in that respect. I'm all for setting standards and sticking to them, but I'm with you on giving cash rewards. I think the "teach them the principles and let them govern themselves" is a good way to go. That being said, I've never had a teenager. Let us know what you decide.
Oh, it was very tongue-in-cheek when I said I was interested in learning more about the club and offering membership to Katelyn and Carson.
Dave and I have always tried to parent by outlining the expectations and then allowing the kids to "govern themselves". We, of course, also outline the consequences for their choices. For the most part, I think this approach has worked pretty well and we've been blessed with good kids who try hard to make the right choice.
That's the lamest club I've ever heard of. What's so bad about kissing?!
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