Winning

Repetition is the key to learning or so the saying goes. In my case, absolutely true. There are certain subjects I need to hear over and over again and in different settings so that each time I can absorb a little more.

An article I read today was one such experience. The article was in Runner's World and was about positive thinking and quieting your inner critic. Honestly, this has been an attitude that David has been trying to get me to adopt for just about, oh, FOREVER! But you know, it is so hard...for me at least.

Yes I know that there is a way or path for us to be better. Through our Savior's atonement we can improve ourselves through the grace He extends to us. Sometimes I resent knowing this because it takes away all my excuses. It would be so much easier to say "hey, I'm a cranky crabby-pants person. Deal with it because I can't change," but I know this is not true and so hard work is required.

Hard work, as much as I like to think that I am a hard worker, when it comes to addressing personality flaws (or mental toughness in athletic endeavors), I tend to go right to the line and then quit. Well, maybe I'll fake it for awhile or sort-of half-a$$ try, but an honest reflection shows that there is so much more that I can do. And then sometimes I enter into a very negative self-talk cycle, berating myself for not trying hard enough, not being strong enough, not appreciating the Savior's sacrifice and grace, and the list of degrading comments goes on and on until I'm either trying to hide my tears from Dave so he won't worry or I'm being mean and nasty to hide how miserable I'm feeling.

But today I found guidance in the magazine article. It's interesting to me that the article didn't really offer any new insights, mostly just reinforced what I have known for a long time and have heard in many different venues. Today, however, a simple article about improving running performance by quieting the inner critic spoke to my soul as a way to improve my overall self-view.

Find the positive, the article said. Find the positive even if it is a small thing. And realize that sometimes there will be bad days, but consider those "feedback" days. If the workout (or day) was a good one, mark it is as a "win".

So here are two "wins" for today.

First, I had a great speed work run. It was a great run because after I had exhausted all of my excuses I got myself out the door and got the run done. Once out, my legs felt like lead during the warm-up and I was worried. But I didn't let that worry set off the critic in my head. I practiced saying more positive statements and reminding myself that I would be stronger for the work I put in tonight. So I just kept pushing through and I wound up running some great split times on my intervals; matter of fact, the intervals were at a faster pace than I was expecting and I was able to hold that pace for each interval. WIN!

Second win was that I made a successful crock-pot dinner. Our family doesn't always like crock-pot dinners because sometimes the food gets too mushy. We had spaghetti. It was a win because first and foremost I actually got everything in the crock-pot in time to make dinner. It was a win because the noodles cooked without turning to mush and it actually tasted good. WIN!