Spiritual Growing Pains

Here's what I have been thinking about for awhile. I used to consider myself a glass half-empty person. Then I started thinking about it and realized that maybe I'm really a glass half-full person. I realized that for the most part, I did look at the bright side of things and tried to be optimistic. If you ask, I'll usually tell you that things are going well. Our life seems to be pretty much in order, we have great kids, I have a good marriage, etc. Life is good. But then I started thinking some more...maybe I'm not really a glass half-full person after all. Maybe I have just overlooked or not noticed, the trials. And if I did that, what lesson did I miss? What strengthening didn't occur? You see, I firmly believe that our Heavenly Father gives us trials/challenges to strengthen us and make us a better person. I also firmly believe that He knows us each individually and knows exactly how much we can handle. So can you see my concern? If I'm missing the trials or overlooking them, what does that say about my faith? Am I destined for a life of mediocrity--not knowing true joy because I can't handle true pain? I think I am a fairly strong person. I have a deep testimony. I see others around me who have deep testimonies as well and they are undergoing some serious challenges and I'm left wondering, "What's wrong with me?" But then again, maybe nothing is wrong with me. Maybe at this point in time, Heavenly Father is satisfied with where I am at and with what I am doing. Maybe He is pleased with my efforts as I learn and struggle in my new calling. Maybe learning to draw closer to Him as I learn to serve the sisters in our ward is my challenge and trial. Just maybe, the wheels don't have to fall off of the bus and the world come crashing down for us to learn, grow, and be happy. And just maybe, I can be a glass half-full person and that doesn't mean I am oblivious or overlooking my challenges--I just look at them with a different perspective, with hope and faith.

I Should Hang My Head in Shame

Last night I had to go to the grocery store. Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike going? Well, let's just say that I would rather nit-pick a whole 1st grade classroom over going to the grocery store. Oh, and I have been known to ask my family to just stop eating so I don't have to go shopping. Okay so the last part is tongue-in-cheek, mostly. But I digress...last night's shopping trip. When I finally finished and I made it to the check-out line, I realized that the items of my cart were much more reflective of the items found on the interior of the store than the perimeter. Please remember that my profession is as a school nurse and I often lament about the growing waistlines of our student population. With that in mind, please note the items in my cart:

• 7 boxes of sugared cereal
• a package of "snack-bag" Frito-Lay chips--assorted so we got Cheetos, Fritos, Doritos, and Lays
• a frozen pizza
• 1 box of Twinkies and 1 box of Ding-Dongs
• 2 loaves of white bread
• 1 package of white hamburger buns
• 3 packages of processed lunch meat and one of the Hormel brand that doesn't add preservatives
• a pound of real butter

There. It is now out there for all of cyberworld to see. Please employ the "do as I say, not as a I do" mantra when making your own food purchases. I did have a few items that were somewhat redeemable--a gallon of skim milk, sweet potatoes, regular potatoes...I guess that's it. I thought there were more. Oh the shame.

On a completely different note...there is a certain member of our family who might need a new home. Preferrably a home that does not have a lot of small electronics. This certain family member has caused the demise of a digital camera, a beloved training tool, two headlamps, and I think at least one more small electronic thing. But this family member is a tricky one, she is. Yesterday, she managed to pull only the headlamp off of the table. The headlamp that was sitting under the shock (training) collar. The headlamp that I wear when we are out running at 5 in the morning. Well she did manage to get the blinkie light off of the table as well, but that light attaches to her collar so it was still as good as new.

Facebook 101

David has a Facebook account. He opened it for work--I'm still unclear on the reason for needing for work, but anyway. After last night's conversation, it's clear he probably doesn't use it that much. So we are watching TV and the commercial for Verizon comes on with the kids talking to the parents who are busy texting on their phones. The girl says to the mom, "Mom, just because we are Facebook friends doesn't mean you can write "I love you" all over my wall." I said to Dave, "can I write 'I love you' all over your wall?" Dave: "Wall? Is that a Facebook thing? I thought she meant her bedroom wall." Yes, he was completely serious when he thought the girl meant her mom had written "I love you" all over her bedroom wall. I almost fell off the couch, I was laughing so hard.

I've Lived with Him Longer than He Lived with His Mom

Today makes it official...I have now lived with David longer than he lived with his parents (and longer than I lived with my parents). We celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary today. While I certainly don't feel like it was just yesterday that we were newly-weds, I am finding it hard to believe that 19 years has already elapsed.

We've certainly had some doozy downs--at the time, they felt like deal-breakers. But we have also had some awesome ups. When you get married at 19 there is still a lot of growing up to do and David and I were lucky enough to be able to grow up together as a couple. We've learned some important lessons along the way--you really shouldn't go to bed mad at each other, use humor when possible, speak in an indoor voice. The most important lesson I have learned...compromise does not always mean that both parties lose; it can also mean that both parties win.

It's pretty great going to bed every night knowing that the person who is in bed with you loves you more than anything else. I love him, too, that much.

Go North to Alaska

The boys got home late Saturday night. It was good to have them home. Josie was so excited to see them that she was jumping around like a bucking bronco. By report, they had an amazing time. It's been stated that there are many funny stories to tell, but so far they have been keeping the stories to themselves. Rich and Dave both said that they have never seen Carson laugh so much. I guess that is a pretty good indicator that he was having a good time. They limited out every day so now our freezer is full of 100 pounds of silver salmon. Carson won the triple-crown award for catching the most fish, the biggest fish, and the smallest fish. (Isn't the King Salmon about the ugliest fish you have ever seen?) The boys also got to enjoy other wildlife of Alaska--they saw moose, caribou, bald eagles, golden eagles, beavers, and grizzly bears. Their boat was almost sunk by a very industrious mink--something about leaving a fish in the boat, the mink eating it, and somehow pulling the plug while eating the fish. I think the story lost something in the translation so you'll have to ask Dave or Carson for the full story.

One of Three Returns

Late last night, Katelyn returned home from camp. She was not due to arrive home until today, but the torrential thunderstorm that we had yesterday caused some minor flooding at camp and so home the girls came. Even though she was stinky, dirty, and a little soggy, I was really happy to see her. I didn't even mind that I had to go get her at the Stake Center at 11:00 at night. This last week has been a little strange for me as I have been by myself. I think it gave me a glimpse into what life could be like in just a few short years. I was a little uncomfortable with not having anyone to care for but the dog and the fish. The dog is doing fine. The fish, well so far I've lost 2. I think if this trend continues I may be turned in to PETA. I did learn a few things. I'm still Heather even without kids and husband to care for. I still enjoy working out with my friends early in the morning. I used to say that i had to work out early in the morning so that it didn't impact my caring for the family in the morning. While there is an element of truth in that, what I discovered is that I really do enjoy being up at 5 and getting my exercise done. I love starting the day off with something that pushes the heart rate up and clears the sleepy fog from my brain. I also learned that I'm going to need some sort of summer job when the kids are grown and out of the house. I missed being busy. Today I was frustrated with myself because i did not fully take advantage of this week. I could have volunteered somewhere. I could have been more of a help to my mother-in-law as she is preparing for a family get-together this weekend. I really could have done some productive things this week, but I let the week pass me by. I also learned that I enjoy weed pulling way more than my children do. I would spend a couple of hours each morning out in the garden area pulling weeds. I swear that weed pulling is a never ending job! But I loved being out there, discovering new bugs, and listening to the honey bees buzz all around my raspberry plants. I loved the thrill I would get when I could finally work a huge dandelion free from the soil with its full root still intact. When I'm pulling weeds with the kids, we spend a lot of our time seeing who can pull a weed with the longest, thickest root. I missed having them out there with me as i was pulling the weeds. I missed the laughter when one of us would fall over from a weed that we had been tugging so hard on finally was pulled out of the ground. I even missed the grumbling that would always eminate from them, usually for the whole hour that we were out in the garden. That grumbling used to drive me crazy, but I learned this week that I missed it. Finally, I learned that if you are going to mow the lawn with a self-propelled lawn mower you have to engage the drive control for the self-propulsion to work properly. If not, the lawn mower is almost as difficult to push around as a rotary blade mower. I discovered this little gem after I was about 3/4 of the way done with the backyard. But I had it all figured out for the next day when I mowed the front yard. The last 2 arrive home some time tomorrow night. I can't wait. Hopefully they will have been able to shower. If not, can you imagine how they are going to smell after having spent a week in the Alaskan back-country?

Keepin' the Streak Alive

Anytime Carson is gone for an extended period of time I am in charge of feeding his fish. I don't really mind doing it, but I do have to hang a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that says "Feed the fish" so I don't forget them. The unfortunate part is that within a day or two of Carson returning home he finds a fish floating. Of course I am the one to get the blame. I have yet to figure out what I am doing wrong. I thought for sure that this week I would come out a winner. We had just purchased new fish the day before Carson left so I wasn't worried about having old fish. And the fish that survived the last time I was in charge I figured were impossible to kill because they are a type of catfish. Well there aren't any floaters yet, but I'm afraid that one of the catfish is not moving very much and his eyes look pretty cloudy. If he floats before Saturday I may just go buy another one and try and make it seem that I am not a fish killer.

I Must Love the Dog More

As my family can attest, when someone is sick with a stomach virus in our house, we (I) employ the following routine: sick person is quarantined to the sick couch; must not touch anything and if they do, they must use Lysol wipes to disinfect the touched item; nothing by mouth until vomiting has been stopped for at least 2 hours; fluids first--water or Sprite, followed by toast or soda crackers; finally, if no vomiting occurs for a 24 hour period after introducing fluids and bland foods, regular food can be eaten. Said sick person must be sick for 2 days (vomiting and/or diarrhea) before I even think about calling the doctor. This is the routine. Period. You must be really looking like death and have not held anything down for 2 days before a doctor visit is scheduled. So my family will be surprised to learn that I took Josie to the vet today. She had vomiting and diarrhea all day yesterday. Yep. Only one day and I took her to the vet to get checked out. She's the dog for goodness sake! I guess I was feeling especially sympathetic because I am all alone this week and who else do I have to dote on? Anyway, she seems to be doing better and hasn't thrown up since 4 a.m. this morning.

Going Back

So this past weekend I travelled back to Aberdeen to attend my 20th (!) high school reunion. I can't believe that I have been out of high school for 20 years. Most of the time, I still feel like I'm 28 and have only been out of high school for 10 years. Anyway, since Dave and Carson in Alaska fishing, and Katelyn didn't want to go with me, I made the 6 hour trip by myself. For the majority of the drive, I thought about what was going in my life right now...getting ready for school to start, training for another 1/2 marathon, thinking/planning Katelyn's 16th birthday party (are we throwing a big bash or not?), and just other stuff that occupies one's mind. When I hit the Grays Harbor county line and it was the only place in the state that was covered by clouds (as usual), I began to wonder what other things I might find the same during this reunion weekend.

I started remembering our high school community. Just like any community, we had people who lived on the outskirts, there were people who were the center or hub, and many people who found themselves in-between. Some people were talented enough to move back and forth between the various classes, but that was a feat in high school. I wondered if those same lines/boundaries would be realized at this reunion because they were somewhat at the 10 year reunion.

I think that uncertainty is what made so many of my classmates a little anxious about this reunion. I was surprised to talk with so many of my classmates who said that they were nervous about coming, some even saying they felt a little nauseous before Friday night's social. I didn't have the same anxiety. I think it was because I'm finally comfortable with who I am (not that I think any of my classmates who expressed anxiety are self-conscious, that's not what I'm saying at all) and because I'm comfortable with who I am, I could go to this reunion and be genuinely curious about how my other classmates are doing, what is going on in their lives, and not really care if they asked about me or not. I can honestly say that I was happy to see everyone who came and I made an effort to try and talk to most everyone. Oh, and those boundaries that had existed in high school--completely erased. I guess we all did finally grow up.

Of course there were a few people who I wanted to see more than anyone--my core group of girlfriends in high school, Dawn, Doty, and Sissy; and my core group of guy friends Mike, RJ, and Jeff. I was so grateful that I had a chance to see these friends and re-connect. I really have no excuse for not staying in touch and I should do better and I'm going to try--even if that means I have to join Facebook because that, it seems, is where everyone goes to keep in touch.

So here's to the Class of '89. Thanks to the planning committee. The reunion was a lot of fun.

He's Officially a Teen-ager Now

Before I blog about what I did this past weekend, I better blog about this guy... Carson turned 13 last Thursday. I can't believe that we now have two teen-agers living in our house! Carson requested that we have scallops for his birthday dinner so here he is, fork in hand, waiting to dig in. I used to think that having a summer birthday was a bummer. No parties or treats at school, hard to get a hold of friends to have a birthday party, etc (my birthday is July 3rd); HOWEVER for the past 2 years, Carson has managed to score big time fun for his birthday. Last year was a trip with his dad and friends for some camping and fishing in one of Carson's favorite spots along the St. Joe River. I thought, wow, how are you going to top that one? Well, get this. This year, Carson, his dad and grandpa are taking themselves on a week-long fly-fishing/camping adventure in...The Alaska backcountry. How cool is that for a birthday present? Carson, I just want you to know that I love you tons. You are the coolest boy I have. You have a quirky, dry sense of humor which gets you in trouble from time to time, but gives us some great stories to share and laugh at later. I know next year you are going to be a great role model for the 6th grade students and a leader on your wrestling team. Keep up the hard work, because hard work pays the biggest dividends.