How To Deal with Out-of-Controlling Texting

Ahh, so you've raised the white flag of surrender and admitted defeat. You've finally realized that your husband and teen-age daughter have presented fair and convincing arguments in favor of teen-ager having a cell phone. Well, before you sink back into defeat, first negotiate the terms of your surrender! Step one: Outline terms of use of cell phone. This includes the plan that you are willing to pay for (start with the cheapest, but be willing to increase one time--like a "bump" for a CD). Also included here is the times the cell phone cannot be used. It cannot be used at mealtimes, when teen-ager is sent to bed, etc. Final piece for this step: consequences of teen-ager going over allotted texts. This might mean extra jobs until bill is paid in full, or if teen-ager is employed, withholding funds from their paycheck until debt is paid. Step two: Stick to your guns when the first cell phone bill arrives and the teen-ager is over the allotted amount of texts by about $100. Make her work those extra jobs, even if it is scrubbing the deck at grandma's house. Step three: Be willing to re-negotiate to a one-time step-up in texting plan. This increase gives teen-ager unlimited mobile-to-mobile texting to phones with same cell service. It also includes 500 texts to other carriers. Also, increase the monthly amount teen-ager must contribute to cell phone bill. Step four: Give the teen-ager high-fives for going months without going over on texts. Step five: Block teen-agers texting privileges when she texts over 1200 times in one billing cylce. DO NOT fall for her argument that she has a job and can just pay to move up to the unlimited plan. Do not take away the cell phone altogether. She can still use it for calling and as her alarm clock. It also helps to deliver this bad news followed with message spoken in her love language. Do expect her to pay for the overages. Step six: When tempers are not boiling, explain to teen-ager why you will not move her up to the unlimited plan. Explain that this is sort-of like having a credit card and just because you can pay it off in full each month does not mean that you should ask for an increase in your limit. We all have to learn to live within limits and decide what is truly important. Maybe every text doesn't need to be answered with a text. Step seven: Sit down with teen-ager and review all the texts to make sure that they are numbers that she recognizes. Did you know that cell phones can be cloned and people can charge texts to your phone without you knowing it? Review the bill to make sure that this hasn't happened. Finally: Unblock texting once a new bill cycle comes around. Review what happened during this billing cycle and why such consequences were deemed appropriate. Reiterate that same consequences will be initiated if overages occur. Express your love and appreciation for your teen-ager. Let her know you appreciate her not moping, pouting, screaming/yelling, and making life generally miserable for everyone just because she lost her texting privileges. She is a terrific young lady. Results may vary according to child.