28 "Thankful For's"

Since today is Thanksgiving and I haven't spent every day this month sharing my "thankful for's" on Facebook, I'm doing another list post. These are 28 things I am thankful for:

1. I am thankful for my husband's patient, caring spirit; his work ethic; his goofiness; and his daily display of love and affection towards me and our children. He is the best.
2. I am thankful that I can still drink milk. Seriously. I don't know what I will do if I develop a dairy intolerance or allergy.
3. I am thankful that my husband likes to travel with me.
4. I am thankful for my running buddies, Josie included.
5. I am thankful to have a job that allows me to be home when my kids and husband are home.
6. I am thankful for every opportunity that I have been given to grow closer to my Father in Heaven...even the really crappy and hard opportunities.
7. I am thankful for awesome nieces and nephews. I love when our families get together and build memories.
8. I am thankful for grandparents and grandparents-in-law. I miss the ones who are gone, but so grateful to still have three alive.
9. I am thankful that I have a car with heated seats.
10. I am thankful for friends who will take the time to click over from Facebook to read this post.
11. I am thankful for my calling at church. Being ward chorister and ward music chair is the best!
12. I am thankful for modern medicine and the comforts it brings to my life.
13. I am thankful for two really great kids. They make me smile, if not laugh, almost every day.
14. I am thankful to work with positive, supportive colleagues.
15. I am thankful to know that God loves me and has blessed me with certain talents and traits. I try to honor that love and gift by using my talents to serve others.
16. I am thankful for good health.
17. I am thankful that Katelyn has the opportunity to serve a mission and the learning and growth that will most certainly occur over the next 18 months.
18. I am thankful that Katelyn works with a great group of young adults at the Melting Pot.
19. I am thankful to my friend Lindsay Hubble who is friends with the owners of the Melting Pot  was willing to put in a good word for Katelyn.
20. I am thankful that this year is going so much better for Carson due to his hard work and conscientious effort at turning in all school assignments.
21. I am thankful for my siblings. When we are all together there is never a dull moment.
22. I am thankful for my parents and their confidence in my abilities, even when I might doubt myself.
23. I am thankful for my in-laws who have always treated me as one of their own children.
24. I am thankful for this quote from President Uchtdorf: "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."
25. I am thankful for dark chocolate and that I can eat one square every day.
26. I am thankful to know that I don't have to worry about having enough food, a warm place to sleep, or other necessities.
27. I am thankful for the opportunities that I have had to travel, especially to the warm, sunny locations.
28. I am thankful to know that no matter what drama, chaos, or upheaval I may have seen or dealt with during the day, I can go home to my safe, quiet loving home. There I am able to recharge and prepare to face whatever the next day brings.

25 Random Things You May Not Know About Me

1. I can spontaneously break out into song if a certain word or phrase reminds me of a line in a song.
2. I used to think Jim Croce was saying "Bad, bad Leroy Brown. Baddest man in the whole downtown."
3. The above mentioned song isn't the only one that I have misheard words. Sometimes what I hear and think the song says gives people an opportunity to laugh at my folly.
4. Sometimes I let the fear of failure interfere with the possibility of success.
5. I would like to run for state representative but...see number 4.
6. I developed most of these annoying food allergies after I turned 35.
7. I once spent all of Christmas day throwing up because I had accidently ingested a very large swallow of kerosene.
8. Sometimes I still dream of being a doctor.
9. It took me about a solid year of running before I really began to enjoy it.
10. Running is still mostly a social activity for me.
11. I have vowed never to buy anything at Pottery Barn because of the very rude service and treatment I received over 10 years ago.
12. My best friends from high school are now mostly just Facebook and Christmas card friends. This makes me sad.
13. I knew after dating Dave for 3 weeks, he was the man I was going to marry. I think he knew it too. That freaked both of us out just a little bit.
14. I am not a healthy food-only consumer. I find great pleasure in Cheetos, Dr. Pepper and McDonald's French fries...but those types of things are consumed very sparingly.
15. I do eat a square of dark chocolate every day. I may have an addiction.
16. I enjoy reading. I particularly enjoy murder mystery, spy/espionage, and non-fiction.
17. I cannot draw to save my life. Really. This is not an exaggeration.
18. I also am not crafty. I've tried. It is just not my thing.
19. I am typing this list when I really should be getting ready for work.
20. Sometimes I procrastinate important things. I was really bad about procrastinating when I was in college.
21. I get super frustrated and judgy when parents are reckless and irresponsible with their children. For example, speeding down the street, talking on a cell phone, and child unrestrained. Or not providing the child's school with any working phone numbers or emergency contact information.
22. I wanted to have four children.
23. I make an intentional effort to learn the names of the children at the school where I work and do my best to address them by name. My children say this is weird.
24. I apparently am fashion-challenged. The other day my daughter told me that wearing leggings, long sweater and boots was an appropriate outfit for middle school girls, not me.
25. And last, but not least...I would love to own and operate a BBQ joint with good old-fashioned Southern offerings: BBQ ribs, corn bread, collard greens and grits.

Perfectly Boring and Happy

I've struggled a bit with blogging lately. Mostly this is due because I have been trying to find new and fresh things to blog about. But yesterday I realized that it is hard to keep the blog new, fresh, and exciting when my life is actually perfectly boring. I mean my life is pretty much go to work Monday through Friday, pay bills, run errands, do laundry, cook dinners. Saturday is filled with not much of anything (although I really should do a better job of cleaning the house on Saturday's, but truth be told, cleaning is one of my least favorite things to do and I have a rather high clutter tolerance) and then Sunday is church.

My kids are almost grown and out of the house. They have learned to make wise decisions most of the time so I have no more "jelly bean up the nose" or "five-legged horse" stories to share. They have never created nor been involved in a lot of drama so I don't have stories to share about that. And frankly, I am grateful that we have managed to avoid friend drama because even though it might make for good blog stories, it would have been not awesome to go through. But there will be some new blog material as each child heads out on their own.  Katelyn will soon leave for her 18 months mission in Tempe, Arizona and I'll share her experiences on my blog. And Carson will be going to college somewhere so there might be a few stories to share about his college experience, but if he goes to NIC there may not be as many stories as if he were going somewhere far away.

I don't have any super exciting stories to share full of name-dropping. Although last Saturday I did have a chance to have a 15 minute one-on-one meeting with Senator Padden, a state senator representing our legislative district in Olympia. I did name drop in that meeting because one of my friend's sits on the Senator's education council and I would like an opportunity to be on that council when my friend steps down. That's about as exciting as it gets, folks.

Dave and I aren't super social. As I think back across the years of our marriage we never have been the kind of couple who would be out with other couples every weekend or taking trips together. We both have our individual friends that we do things with but we don't have any couple friends. Some of this is due to the self-imposed criteria that couples must meet in order to be couple friends. First, the age spread cannot be more than 5 years younger than us and no more than 10 years older. Second, it would be helpful if there child situation is similar to ours (almost grown, number of children isn't important). Third, the couple must be able to tolerate quirky, sometimes completely goofy character traits combined with some awkward social interactions due to failed delivery of intended message. Finally, similar interests are important so we have things to do together and talk about. There are some exemptions to the criteria, well one exemption really. Family members do not have meet the criteria in order for us to hang out. And really the kid thing isn't such a huge deal since Dave and I both enjoy children very much, but I have noticed that couples who have younger children are just busier with the kid things in life & tend to hang out with others who are involved in the same kid things.

As the realization of my boring reality came to me yesterday, I also realized that I am completely happy. I am happy that my children are happy. I am happy with the friends I do have and the social interactions I have with them. I am happy with the at-work social connections that I have. I am happy that my days are pretty much filled with the same things day in and day out. I am just plain happy. It is nice to finally feel content with perfectly boring.

Quips from Katelyn and Carson

Katelyn and I were talking yesterday about her friends and their fear of Dave. At the conclusion of the conversation...
-Katelyn: I told them my dad isn't that scary. They should really be afraid of my mom. She's feisty.


Carson's feelings after reading my post about service...
-Carson: Mom, you can't really call it service. I'm pretty much forced to go. I should just pull on an orange jumpsuit the next time.


And finally, Carson's quip after I told him I had booked our hotel at Venice Beach instead of in Santa Monica...
-Carson: Well, at least we'll probably have some nice views.

He swears he was talking about the ocean, but hmmm, I'm not so sure.

Grateful for Service

Carson has to write a persuasive essay about service. The article that he is using says that service is complicated. I'm not exactly sure what his own point of view is; however, if I had to base it off of his attitude while performing service I would say he is against it. He generally has a poor attitude during service projects, particularly if it involves manual labor or seems to interrupt something he would rather be doing. I mostly hear "this is dumb" and watch him do as little as possible. Maybe that is a typical teen-age boy attitude, but I wish he would rise above that typical stereotype.

I am grateful for the opportunity to serve. Through serving I am able to give back and express my thanks to my Heavenly Father, who has given me so much. Long, long ago He showed me how serving others can literally save a life--and it was my life He saved. I would like to share more, but I have tried to type the story up several different times and in several different ways and none of them seem quite right. Just know that there was a time when I was quite despondent on a particular day and on that day I spent my day losing myself in the service of others. Slowly the cloud of despair lifted and for that day, I was able steady myself and move forward.

I don't want to discount the very real illness of depression that often requires medical intervention to treat but for me, on that day, my despair was self-inflicted because of my inward, selfish focus. As I became focused on serving others and forgetting about myself I was able to find the light again. Finding the light saved my life; I had contemplated how to end it that very morning.

I am in much healthier place emotionally, but it took me several years to get here. And yes, there are still moments when I feel despondent and dark. But I have learned that along with a good long run and debriefing with my colleague (school counselor), serving others will help lift me out of the darkness. Selfish? Maybe if I was seeking out recognition for the service, but I don't. I just know that  Heavenly Father will bless me if I serve others.

I guess maybe the article Carson is referencing is right...service can be complicated, nevertheless I am grateful for the opportunities I have to serve others.

My Current Favorite "Go-to" Crockpot Dinner

Crockpot Chicken Fajitas



So crockpot dinners are not usually a favorite with my family. They don't like how the vegetables turn mushy and sometimes the meat gets dry. However, I have made this dinner several times now and so far, no complaints. And a super bonus is that I can get another night's meal out of the leftovers.

I believe that I got the basics of the recipe off of something I saw on Facebook and then altered it to suit our tastes. Here is the recipe I currently use:

1/2 each red, yellow, and orange pepper, sliced
1/2 onion, sliced
1 can diced green chiles
4 chicken breasts
1 tbsp. chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tbsp. minced garlic
salt and pepper

Layer peppers on bottom of crock-pot then add onions. Place chicken on top of onions and peppers. Pour can of chiles on top of chicken. Sprinkle spices on top of all. Cover and cook on low for 5 hours. 30 minutes prior to serving, shred chicken in the pot and stir ingredients together.

*We don't actually use this as fajita filling; my family prefers to eat it over corn chips with sour cream, salsa and cheese.

And two nights later we will have this for dinner:

Fajita Rice Casserole
Use the left-overs from the crockpot fajitas. Add cooked rice, one can of black beans, and 1/2 cup sour cream. Saute 1/2 red pepper and add to mixture. Place all in a casserole dish, sprinkle shredded cheese over the top of casserole and bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.

Veterans' Day Reflection on the Vietnam War

Yesterday was Veteran's Day and a day off from work. I spent it much like I spend other days off of work...running errands, doing laundry, catching up on yard work, etc. I also spent some time on Facebook looking at friends' posts thanking veterans and passing along posters honoring veterans.

But that wasn't all I did. I also spent a large portion of my afternoon with Carson watching a documentary on the Vietnam War. The documentary was put together using actual footage from the war...no reenactments. Soldiers' memories were shared either through their own voice or with a voice over. Family members were also interviewed and shared their memories of that time. I thought that of all the documentaries I have seen produced by the History Channel, this one seemed to be the most neutral politically-speaking. Although I am not sure that it is possible to produce a completely politically-neutral piece about the Vietnam War.

At the conclusion of the documentary I had these thoughts:

• I now understand why these men and women came back so broken from Vietnam. The definition of success changed from how much territory was won (a definition that had been used in both world wars) to how many people were destroyed. Matter of fact, that is what their missions were called "search and destroy" and a high body count was the measure of success. Those who fought in Vietnam had no choice but to totally dehumanize everyone and thing, otherwise there would have been no way they could have carried out their orders. Unfortunately, this also meant that many times all Vietnamese were viewed as the enemy and not to be trusted. If they weren't trusted, they should be destroyed. What a destructive mind-set for the human psyche and soul.

• The Vietnam War initially was not about spreading American ideals or imperialism. It was about protecting a free people who couldn't protect themselves from the oppressive, destructive communist regime that was trying to take over their country. As Americans we will always have a responsibility to protect those who cannot protect themselves. However, careful consideration must be given to continuing in the engagement when the majority of those we are called to protect would just as soon aid the enemy as they would you. In Vietnam it appeared that the majority of the Vietnamese people who lived in the villages lived in such fear of the VC, that for pure self-preservation they agreed to aid and abet the enemy, thus setting up the United States for failure no matter what we did. When it became apparent that Vietnamese citizens were not able to see past their immediate self-preservation and look forward to the future free of the communist regime, the United States should have pulled out. But we didn't leave and the cost in American lives was high.

• I am in awe of those soldiers (and when I say soldiers I mean all those who serve in the armed forces) who followed orders and went when they were called. I am grateful that my father-in-law and uncle-in-law, who were serving at this time, were kept safe. I am not sure how or why my dad wasn't drafted, but I'm glad he wasn't. I was born in 1971 and since the last troops didn't leave until 1973, if he had been drafted there is a chance that he might not have come home to raise me.

• I also do not judge those who, when late in the war, burned their draft cards. It seems that by time the draft occurred it should have been apparent that our initial mission had failed and we were only sending soldiers over because we were unwilling to admit defeat. I cannot be sure, but I think I might have been one of those ones out protesting the war. But then again, maybe not. I did not participate in protestations when the US went into Iraq and Afghanistan. And I'm not sure how you  protest military action without it being a slap in the face to those military members who follow orders and go where they are sent.

I'm sure there are many things that I do not understand about the US involvement in Vietnam. And I am sure I have oversimplified many things. I can't be certain that I have expressed my thoughts in the best way, but they are my thoughts and writing them down gives me a record and something to review and reflect on at a later time.

And The Winner Is....

KATELYN for "Weirdest Migraine Aura in Our Family"

Migraines are a familial trait on my side. From me our kids got the "Whiting" chin, the ability to roll their tongue into a taco, blue eyes and migraines. Yay for DNA.

For Carson and me, our migraines are proceeded by a visual aura almost 100% of  the time. We know that as soon as those wavy lines appear we need to treat immediately with 800 mg of ibuprofen and a dark, quiet room. After a 5 hour nap the headache has usually subsided.

Unfortunately for Katelyn she doesn't always get an aura so her headache just gets gradually worse and before she knows it, she has a full-blown  migraine that isn't easily knocked back. Thursday's headache was just that with a few added twists.

Katelyn said she woke up Thursday morning and wasn't up for long when she noticed that she was getting a dull, throbbing ache in her head. She took some ibuprofen and headed off to her morning job (watching 2 young boys & helping them get off to school). By time she got home the headache was a little worse so she went back to bed. I came home for lunch and tried to talk to her, but she was out like a light. She was still asleep when I got home from work at 3:45.

A couple of hours later and I'm at a dinner meeting when I get this text...
-Is normal to have lost my sense of taste?
-Yes, that could happen when you have a migraine.
-Ok because I can't taste anything.
-Well, if it is still a problem tomorrow, I'll take you to the doctor.
-Ok.


Friday morning (now 24 hours after the start of the migraine), I'm on my way to work and Katelyn is still in bed. I make the suggestion that she get up sooner rather than later so she can see if she is still having trouble tasting. I don't hear from her until about 9:30 or 10. She texts me to say that she still can't taste anything. I text her back the number for the doctor & tell her to make an appointment.

I come home for lunch and to prepare to take her to the doctor. I ask her how things are going. She said she still has a little headache, but it feels better. What about the sense of taste? She's not sure so we test it by having her drink about a tablespoon of straight lemon juice. Nothing. Absolutely no taste. So off to the doctor we go.

All of the neurological tests check out OK at the doctor's office. The doctor does order a MRI, but since Katelyn has to work Friday night the doctor said we could do the MRI on Monday. The doctor orders a Toradol injection for Katelyn & sends us on our way with the caveat that if the symptoms change or the headache gets worse Katelyn is supposed to go straight to the ER.

I drop Katelyn off at work and don't expect to hear from her until it is time to pick her up at about 11:30 p.m. Sometime around 7 p.m. I get this text...
-Um, I have a lisp.
-A lisp?
-Yeah, it just started.
-Well that's interesting. Talk with your manager, tell her what's going on & see when you can leave.
-Ok. We are in the middle of the dinner rush so I can't leave now.
-Text me when you can.

An hour and a half later she texts to say that she can go. So I pick her up and take her to the emergency room. Now, say what you will about Deaconess Hospital, but they treated us great while we were there. We got right in and Katelyn was seen pretty promptly. It was a refreshing change when compared to the time I took Carson to Sacred Heart for a bad migraine.

Anyway, she got some IV medication for her headache (Benadryl, Reglan and Decadron) and a MRI. The meds cleared up the headache and the MRI came back normal so she was discharged. And in almost remarkable time, I think. We got to leave around midnight. Three hours in the ER on a Friday night?! Remarkable.

So the lessons Katelyn learned:

• As soon as she notices a headache, she should treat it like it will turn into a migraine. That means she should take her Maxalt immediately and go straight to bed.
• Loss of taste, a lisp, and vision that appears to be looking through a fish eye lens are her auras. If she notices any of those things, even if she doesn't have a headache, she should take her migraine medication immediately.

An Almost Perfect Blend

Apparently, unbeknownst to us, writers in Hollywood has taken notice of me and Dave. They have taken notes on our personalities, our quirks, and our family dynamics. They have taken those observations and combined them into one fantastically fabulous character that is an almost perfect blend of me and Dave.

Meet....

Beverly Goldberg

Ok, so Hollywood really hasn't taken some special interest in us. Beverly Goldberg is most likely a caricature of the real-life mother to Adam Goldberg, the creator/writer of the ABC comedy, The Goldbergs. Nevertheless our family loves to watch the show and watch for the similarities between Beverly, Dave and me.

It is hilarious to hear the kids say one minute "Oh, that's just like you, Mom" while I'm just nodding my head in agreement. And then the next minute they are saying "Oh, that's totally Dad" and Dave is shaking his head "NO, NO way!" and we are all laughing hysterically and choking out "Oh yes, yes, that is totally you!"

What parts of Beverly are me? Oh, the mother heart that wants to snuggle up with her kids even though they are both mostly beyond consenting to snuggle. And I do sometimes "mix in" when I think I can help, although this part could go either way between Dave or me. Bev's phrase "I have failed as a mother" may be a phrase that I have used a time or two in some fit of theatrics.

Dave is a little sensitive to the fact that there are parts of Beverly's personality we associate with him. But he really can't argue that he never told the kids they couldn't eat their Halloween candy until it had been thoroughly examined (although, Bev said no Halloween candy until it had been x-rayed at the hospital). And the kids attribute Beverly's mama-bear (read, over-protective) qualities more to Dave than to me.

So somehow without even trying, Hollywood created a perfect hybrid of Dave and me. It is a hoot to watch. If you haven't had a chance to catch and episode of The Goldbergs, you should try. The show is on Tuesday nights on ABC at 9 p.m. Pacific.

Warning: There are a lot of campy 80's references and the dad does walk around in a dress shirt and his tighty-whities when he is at home. There are also a few swear words that crop in here and there (a$$ is the worst one I have heard). But for the most part, pretty darn funny show and appropriate for ages 12+ .

Grateful to Live with Witty, Goofy People

It's November and seems like an appropriate time to express, once again, how grateful I am for my little family. This time I want to acknowledge what a blessing it is to live with funny, witty, and goofy people.

When I married Dave I didn't realize how goofy he actually is. Oh, there were glimpses here and there along the way, but when we had children his true, full-on goofy nature was revealed. Sometimes he is funny on purpose, but other times his goofiness is completely by accident and that makes it even funnier. What a joy it has been to be married to this man for the last 23 years. A good belly laugh at least once a day is almost guaranteed living with this dude.

Fortunately he has passed this goofy, witty trait onto his children. Carson is a bit more likely to share this side of his personality with us, while Katelyn likes to save her humor mostly for her friends. But each of them has, on more than one occasion, provided the family some silly remark that has led to a good chuckle.

My life is so blessed and full because of Dave, Katelyn, and Carson and their zany senses of humor. Some research has shown that living with laughter and happiness keeps you healthier and living longer. I am picturing a long, happy, healthy life for all of us.

Stay tuned for more gratitude posts through this month of November.

Learning to Live with Open Hands

I've debated for the last few days on whether to post this or not. It is a personal issue that I would have written in my private journal if only I knew where that journal was. The thoughts about needing to publish this wouldn't leave my mind. So as you can see, I decided to publish it, maybe there is a message here someone is supposed to read.

I have several different notes from ladies in my ward who have dropped me a line to let me know they admire my faith, strength and testimony. I have held onto these notes for a long time to read during those times when I don't feel so strong. And then the other day I received a Facebook message from a woman who knew me in my youth. She wrote:

I knew you in your youth and I saw your struggles. I didn't know how you could ever make it with so much to swim against. I totally underestimated the Whiting Tenacity! It was a beautiful thing to see you fight against the odds and use that tenacity to build. Much of it you did alone.

Again, a message I will save to refer back to when I am struggling. But here's the problem I have with these notes and message, I don't view what I have done as particularly out of the ordinary. I think I have done and lived how anyone would. I'm really not sure that I deserve any sort of special praise or recognition.

I was relaying these feelings to a colleague (who happens to be a counselor) after I received the Facebook message. He told me I needed to let go, to open my hands and heart, and receive the goodness of God. I told him I wasn't ungrateful for the messages and that after each note I did thank God for the note because it came just at a time when I needed to hear words of encouragement. But I still couldn't identify what it was about my life that was extraordinary, that inspired these ladies. Again, my friend said to open my hands and receive the blessing that these notes were. He said it didn't matter whether I felt like I deserved the praise or not, I just needed to receive it.

I spent the rest of the day and night thinking about our conversation. Thinking about what my friend had said about not feeling like I deserve the recognition. He was right, I did feel like I didn't deserve the recognition and I felt that way because what if I was a fraud? What if I had somehow portrayed my life to be harder than it actually was/is?

The next thought that came to me was "why would I think I was a fraud?" This took some soul-searching and dredging up some painful memories. But the reality of it is that in my childhood I heard some pretty hurtful things. Words were said that created a lot of self-doubt. At one time I was even told "No one will believe a little sh*% like you."

As I was thinking about those hurtful things of my childhood, the words to one of my favorite hymns came to my mind:

Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,

I found him by the highway side.

I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,

Revived his spirit, and supplied

Wine, oil, refreshment--he was healed.

I had myself a wound concealed,

But from that hour forgot the smart,

And peace bound up my broken heart.

"I had myself a wound concealed,...And peace bound up my broken heart." Those two lines echoed in my head for quite awhile until I realized what God was saying to me. He was saying "forget those words from your childhood. Let my Son heal your broken heart."

My friend's counsel. The words from that hymn. Knowing God loves me. All of those things combined just a the right moment and helped me to let go and live with my hands open...open to receive more of God's love and blessings.