I'm One of Those People

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a scale watcher. I weigh myself about 3 times a day; once in the morning before I run, then again after I run, and finally, before I go to bed. I started doing this about 4 years ago to help monitor how much water weight I had lost from running. After having 2 surgeries to remove kidney stones and passing several smaller ones on a pretty regular basis, I figured I needed to get at least a rough idea on my hydration levels. So I have a pretty good idea of what will affect my weight as well as my kidney stone production. I also know that once a month I will wake up in the morning and be completely unhappy with the number that shows up on the scale. But, seriously, 3 pound increase overnight? C'mon body. Give me a break! Then I stew about the number (and the fact that my pants feeler tighter) for the week until one morning I get on the scale and the number is back to where it is supposed to be (and my pants don't feel tighter anymore). Anyone else worry about a 3 pound weight increase that literally happens overnight? I realize most people probably have many other important things to worry about, but please tell me I'm not alone. Or feel free to tell me to get over myself because, really? I should be worried about such things?

Call It What You Want

My mom said my last post was more about coercion than nagging. I still say it was nagging because I was letting Dave know that he still needed to get those appointments made. I just didn't come right out and say that and I upped the ante a bit. Whatever you want to call it, it worked. Dave got his appointments scheduled. And so it was a win-win for both of us.

How To Nag, Slyly

Yesterday I wasn't feeling up to playing "how-to Tuesday". Fortunately, I was feeling back to my spunky self just in time. Just in time for what, you ask. Read on and learn how to sneakily nag your husband about a worn-out, nagged-about subject. You see my husband is "old"--well, only 40 actually. When he turned 40, he assured me that he would make a doctor's appointment to get a baseline on some important markers (PSA, cholesterol, lipids, etc). He also said that he would finally get to the dentist. He has been once in the last 12 years and maybe only twice in the other 8 years of our marriage. So folks, that is a grand total of 3 times in the last 20 years. It's almost 6 months past his birthday and still no visits to the doctor or dentist, not even appointments on the books. I've tried gentle reminders. I've tried the "if you cared about us, you'd make the appointments" card. I've even tried outright nagging. NOTHING has worked. Then, as we were watching the morning news, a story came on that gave me another opportunity. But this time I was a little more subtle. I didn't outright tell him he needed to see the doctor. I told him that the story gave me a reason for, um let's say, "inaction" in certain "activities". After all, a little inaction on my part is just looking after his health and well-being. That was the take-home message I got from the news story. Now let's see if he doesn't get to the doctor and dentist. Because, apparently (and according to the news so it must be true), older gentlemen need medical clearance.

It's Monday and the Dog Stinks

It's Monday and Josie really stinks, even though she has already had a bath this morning. She rolled in something when we were out running early this morning. I couldn't run down wind from her or I would start to gag. The car ride home was awful. She had a bath as soon as we got home, which of course totally messed up my morning routine. But I think that smell must have been burned into the tissue in my nose because I swear I can still smell the awfulness--several hours later. It's Monday and I find myself wondering why my guilt-o-meter appears to be broken. I thought about this yesterday as well. I was at a conference Thursday-Saturday, so, consequently I couldn't go for my run on Saturday. Instead, I ran on Sunday. For the record, I don't make it a habit to run on Sunday (can't think of the last time I ran on Sunday and I won't do Sunday races), but this week's run was 10 miles and I didn't feel like I could just skip it. I met my running buddy early and got the run in and still made it home to make sure everyone was up and ready for church. What bothers me is that for some reason I wasn't bothered about running on Sunday. It's Monday and I think I am having olfactory hallucinations. Right now I could swear I smell Chinese food (I'm sitting in the basement and not anywhere close to the basement), but Carson is down here too and he smells nothing. Great. It's Monday and I have to go grocery shopping, which, have I mentioned lately, how much I don't enjoy. Unless I can talk David into going with me. He makes it enjoyable. But I haven't made my shopping list and these olfactory hallucinations are driving me crazy. I don't think I will be able to think of anything else but the smell of Chinese food. It's Monday and I'm signing off. The dog needs another bath, dinner needs to be invented, and I have to try and do something about this smelling problem.

How To Deal with Out-of-Controlling Texting

Ahh, so you've raised the white flag of surrender and admitted defeat. You've finally realized that your husband and teen-age daughter have presented fair and convincing arguments in favor of teen-ager having a cell phone. Well, before you sink back into defeat, first negotiate the terms of your surrender! Step one: Outline terms of use of cell phone. This includes the plan that you are willing to pay for (start with the cheapest, but be willing to increase one time--like a "bump" for a CD). Also included here is the times the cell phone cannot be used. It cannot be used at mealtimes, when teen-ager is sent to bed, etc. Final piece for this step: consequences of teen-ager going over allotted texts. This might mean extra jobs until bill is paid in full, or if teen-ager is employed, withholding funds from their paycheck until debt is paid. Step two: Stick to your guns when the first cell phone bill arrives and the teen-ager is over the allotted amount of texts by about $100. Make her work those extra jobs, even if it is scrubbing the deck at grandma's house. Step three: Be willing to re-negotiate to a one-time step-up in texting plan. This increase gives teen-ager unlimited mobile-to-mobile texting to phones with same cell service. It also includes 500 texts to other carriers. Also, increase the monthly amount teen-ager must contribute to cell phone bill. Step four: Give the teen-ager high-fives for going months without going over on texts. Step five: Block teen-agers texting privileges when she texts over 1200 times in one billing cylce. DO NOT fall for her argument that she has a job and can just pay to move up to the unlimited plan. Do not take away the cell phone altogether. She can still use it for calling and as her alarm clock. It also helps to deliver this bad news followed with message spoken in her love language. Do expect her to pay for the overages. Step six: When tempers are not boiling, explain to teen-ager why you will not move her up to the unlimited plan. Explain that this is sort-of like having a credit card and just because you can pay it off in full each month does not mean that you should ask for an increase in your limit. We all have to learn to live within limits and decide what is truly important. Maybe every text doesn't need to be answered with a text. Step seven: Sit down with teen-ager and review all the texts to make sure that they are numbers that she recognizes. Did you know that cell phones can be cloned and people can charge texts to your phone without you knowing it? Review the bill to make sure that this hasn't happened. Finally: Unblock texting once a new bill cycle comes around. Review what happened during this billing cycle and why such consequences were deemed appropriate. Reiterate that same consequences will be initiated if overages occur. Express your love and appreciation for your teen-ager. Let her know you appreciate her not moping, pouting, screaming/yelling, and making life generally miserable for everyone just because she lost her texting privileges. She is a terrific young lady. Results may vary according to child.

Some Things I've Learned Recently About Running

1. Lasagna with spicy marinara for lunch + 5 miles of intervals after work = Really bad HEARTBURN. Like "Oh my heck, I think I'm having a heart attack" bad heartburn. 2. Shot Blocks are great in the summer. No so great in the winter because they turn into semi-solid blobs that can set off a killer TMJ issue. 3. Shot Blocks with caffeine are Suh-weet on a long run. But I can only take them sparingly or my heart races way too fast to be healthy. 4. When running indoors on the treadmill (especially if going longer than 3 miles and you are going to be a sweaty mess), DO NOT forget Body Glide. The chafe marks are super ouchy when you take a post-run shower. 5. Just like I thought, gazzillions of lunges on the day before a long run wreaks havoc on my knees. No lunges yesterday = a fabulous, though very hilly, 12- mile run today with absolutely no knee pain!

This Year I'm Celebrating Lent

I've heard about Lent for several years from my co-workers who are Catholic, Lutheran, and Methodist. The conversation usually revolves what they are "giving up" for Lent--usually caffeine, refined sugar, chocolate, etc, but they never really have shared what Lent is all about. A quick Internet search reveals Lent is the 40-day period of time leading up to Easter; although some Eastern Orthodox religions observe 60 days. During this period of time, the focus should be placed on developing a closer relationship with God and preparing for the miracle of Easter--at least that is what I interpret Lent to mean from what I have read. I think the "giving something up" that my friends refer to is a small way to participate in the fast and self-denial that is part of Lent. This sacrifice is supposed to be replaced by more intense scripture study, service to others, and drawing closer to God. With drawing closer to God in mind, and trying to eliminate bad habits that keep me from feeling His Spirit with me, I have decided to give up procrastination for Lent. Oh sure, there are many things that I procrastinate that don't really have an impact on my relationship with God (Hello, mounds of paperwork waiting to be filed at work, I am talking to you); but there are also several things that I do procrastinate that really do impact my relationship with God. I tend to procrastinate having difficult conversations. Impact: often I sit and stew and feel somewhat bitter towards whoever I need to have the difficult conversation with. Or I feel "less than" because I can't handle mustering up the courage to talk. Feeling "less than" almost always makes me focus more inward and less on my Heavenly Father. I tend to procrastinate giving my forgiveness to those who I feel have wronged me. Impact: feeling less love towards the person, and hence, my spirit is darkened. Approaching my Heavenly Father to ask for forgiveness when I know that I am purposely not forgiving someone because I just don't feel like "hugging it out yet" is very hypocritical and can cause me to withdraw until I'm ready to forgive. I tend to procrastinate apologizing even if I know I am wrong. Impact: Duh, PRIDE! Always keeps me from feeling closer to God. I tend to procrastinate listening and following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Often times it is because I doubt that I really heard a prompting or I'm afraid to act on it because I don't want to be wrong. Impact: Harder to hear and identify the promptings when they do come. My hope is that by the end of Lent this really bad habit of procrastination will be broken and I will indeed feel closer to God.

How-to Speak Your Teen-ager's Love Language

Step 1: Recognize that your teen-ager's number 1 love language is "acts of service". And since he left this morning in his usual "uniform" (read: shorts and a t-shirt) when the weather was OK and now it looks like this

You think you should take him something warm so life doesn't suck while walking home from the bus stop.

Step 2: Have an argument with yourself about letting said teen-ager suffer the natural consequences of his decision vs. speak his love language and giving the appearance of "rescuing" him.

Step 3: Allow "nice mom" version to win the argument and drop off these

at the high school so he will have them for the bus ride home.

Step 4: Receive a "Thanks for thinking of me, Mom" comment as the teen-age walks in the door after school--minus the sweatshirt and hat.

Step 5: Just smile and enjoy the fact the boy at least recognized you made an effort.

PS This is probably not the type of "how-to" post this blogger was looking for, and probably why I will never be a widely-read "Mormon Mommy Blogger", but oh well. It was a fun way to post about today's adventure with teen-age boy.

Next Tuesday I may post about adventure with teen-age girl, out-of-control texting, and consequences of such actions. We'll see.

PPS Someone please send me a "how to" tutorial on these things:

• commenting on the above-mentioned blogger's blog--I can't figure out how to disable my cookies. Heck, sometimes I can't even find my cookies.
• connecting our PS3 to the internet
• OR....connecting our "internet-ready" TV to internet, then we wouldn't need to worry about the PS3.

As you can tell, I'm a little behind on technology, and except for the out-of-controlling texting, my teen-agers are too (or so they have me believing).

Trucks Vs. Dolls. Can't They Just Be Friends?

Conversation overheard in bathroom at church between a mom and her 3-year-old daughter 3-year old: "I like (insert 2 year old boy name). He is my friend." Mom: "You can't be friends with boy." Girl: "Why? He's nice." Mom: "Because what are you going to do when you want to play with your dolls and he wants to play trucks?" Girl: "He could play with me. He likes dolls." Mom: "No. Boys like trucks and mud. They want to eat bugs. You don't want to eat bugs do you?" Girl: "They might be good. I like boy. He doesn't eat bugs." Mom: "He might eat bugs. All little boys eat bugs." Conversation continues, but I'm finished in the bathroom. I'm not sure why, but this conversation really bothered me. What do you think?

It Was Just a Bad Combination of Things That Has Left Me Hobbling

This morning was an 8 mile run. I was so excited for this run for a few reasons. First, my running buddy was back from Mexico. Second, my running buddy was back from Mexico and that meant I didn't have to run by myself. I hadn't really run much while she was gone because I'm a morning exerciser and I don't like running by myself outside at o'dark thirty. Third, it was a relatively warm morning. Although, Marla did take exception to my assessment of the weather. She thought it was freezing. Let me interrupt here to tell you that I did try to run a 5 mile tempo run on the treadmill last week. However, by mile 2.67 I had generated so much static electricity that my hair was standing up on end, I was getting shocked every time I touched the treadmill bars; it was so bad that the ear buds in my ears were shocking me with each wiggle. I decided I better get off before I blew a fuse or something. Okay, now back to today's run. It was a pretty good run until about mile 5.7. At this point in time there was a perfect storm of bad karma that invoked havoc on my knees. The combination of lack of running the previous week, being two months overdue on buying new shoes, and the gazzillion lunges we did yesterday in boot camp caused both knees to feel like they were going to give out at any moment. We did the last 2.3 miles alternating walking and shuffling. It was horrible. I opted for ice packs instead of an ice bath once I got home. Oh, and Advil. Note to self: take the ice bath. And lay off the lunges on the day before a long run.

How to Make Yourself Look and Feel Old

In the morning, while you still have on your morning face (aka no make-up) and your bedhead, stand close to your fresh-faced teen-age daughter as she puts the finishing touches on her make-up. You will find yourself wishingt yourself back to the rock that you look like you slept under last night. Or you'll be sprinting to the shower. And then you will be grateful for really good make-up and a pretty great hair day.