Monday, March 8, 2010
Unreasonable? Me?
I have come to realize that I might be being a little bit unreasonable. But here's the kicker...I don't think I am ready to be reasonable yet, even with all of the pleading and trying to reason.
Have you seen the movie Dan in Real Life? Remember when the teen-age daughter yells, "Murder of love" at her father? Well my teen-age daughter hasn't yelled that at me, but I think she is on the verge of yelling "Murder of social networking fun". She of course is talking about my balking at getting her a cell phone and allowing her to have a Facebook page. Of course she has provided me with a list of reasons why she should be allowed these privileges, but her biggest reason is always "Everyone else has one".
She really is a good kid and probably deserves these two things. But, truth be told, I'm scared to let her have them. I just want to protect her from all of the ugliness that is out there. I am sure that if cyber-bullying had been around when I was in high school, I would have been a recipient. It was bad enough to have my car egged and side mirrors bent all crazy on a regular basis. I don't want Katelyn to be subjected to any sort of bullying. I know I can't protect her at school, but I can protect her at home. And one of the ways that I have chosen to protect her is to not provide her with a cell phone or a Facebook account.
She says that she would only give her number to friends and would only "friend" people that she knows on Facebook. And every time I get ready to give in, I hear a story from my girlfriends with high school girls about how their daughters were subjected to mean, ugly text messages or awful things posted about them on Facebook. Ugh! I just can't do it. It makes my stomach hurt every time I think about Katelyn having a cell phone and Facebook.
On the other hand, OK, right now there is no "on the other hand" for me. I guess I will just keep on being unreasonable. Unless someone can provide me with a really good counter-argument that does not involve "Everyone else has one" because keeping up with the Jones's has never been a good argument to me.
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8 comments:
Hmmm... clearly one reason for your concern is that some of this is news to me- who would egg a 12 year old tercel? You are afraid Katelyn won't tell you what's going on. Is there a cell phone that won't accept texting? That might solve that problem. As for facebook - I have no clue, as usual.
She'll survive without them, might not like it at this point, but later on she'll see how wise you were. I suppose if she were to get a cell phone you could disable text and picture messages. Then she'd have to actually call her friends and engage them in conversation instead of writing tiny little messages back and forth. But I'd hold firm on Facebook, it's lame.
Dan
We're with you on this one. Caleb's dad thought it would be a good idea to buy him a cell phone for Christmas. We told him that was not going to fly. Some of Caleb's friends have phones, but we told him no phone until he has a job and can pay for it himself.
At 16 I would be inclined to think about letting her have one, but would have some serious restrictions. I do know that some services will let you block all incoming calls and texts except for those from approved phone numbers. The whole facebook/twitter, etc. crapola will forever remain a no go for our kids.
Nate
Well, as a more moderate voice I thought I'd put in my two cents. Both are non necessities so there really so no compelling argument for her having them. My only thing about the cell phone is that I know in high school there were some pretty serious situations where I was forced to rely on (and get into the car of) complete strangers. I remember thinking at the time that I was doing something risky, but I had no other option. Now I can't believe I did what I did. So I think we're going to have to have a serious discussion when our children are old enough to drive.
As for facebook, Dan thinks its lame without even having tried it. I have an account and don't use it all that much. If you don't want her to then I support it. I think of it as a type of entertainment, if used properly it's not that big a deal. It's just really, really easy to use improperly. So in the end if it gives you a bad feeling then I'd go with that.
What's a Facebook?
Dad
I did have to chuckle when I read Dan's comment about "tiny little messages."
I agree with Nate (as usual) but I do have a couple of girls in my Young Women with phones who have restrictions... They are only allowed to get calls from numbers their parents list as ok. (I am currently waiting to be on that list) In that case, I would say it's ok since she's old enough to drive. But I'd still be mean enough to make her pay for it herself. Facebook is lame, if you care for my opinion on that too.
Most of the arguements you've all come up with is that my "friends" might send me crude messages because that's what happened to you or someone else. Well all I've got to say to that is... I'm not them and those people aren't my friends. I hope you trust me enough about who I call friends. Note that most of them are good Mormons who can only raise me up instead of bringing me down. I'm fine with not getting a Facebook, though there are times when I wish had one, but the cell phone is what I'd really like to get.
Katelyn
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