12 or 2... You Be the Judge

As a school nurse I see children do all sorts of silly things. A few years ago I had a student who would come to the health room about twice a month with a rock stuck in his ear. He would purposely stick one of the little pea gravel rocks from the playground into his ear and then run around saying, "What? I can't hear you. There is a rock stuck in my ear." His mom found it cute and endearing until the last time when it required surgery to remove the rock. You know, that was the last time I saw him in the health room for a rock stuck in his ear. Anyway, usually children outgrow sticking things in their ears or noses by time they reach age 2. Unless they happen to be a 12-year-old boy. I had long theorized that 12-year-olds and 2-years-olds were not that different when it comes to actually engaging the executive function area of their brains. Recently, as in yesterday, a 12-year-old boy (that shall remain nameless, but with whom I am well-acquainted) was goofing around with his dad and managed to get a JellyBelly stuck in his right nostril. They were trying to distinguish the coffee-flavored JellyBellies from the rootbeer JellyBellies. The dad said "You can just tell by the smell" so the 12-year-old boy proceeds to place the JellyBelly just inside his nostril to smell. He figured the farther in the JellyBelly went, the better he would be able to smell it. The strange thing, besides the JellyBelly up the nose, is that he wasn't even smelling a brown-colored bean. It was blue and white-speckled--definitely NOT a potential coffee-flavored bean. How did the bean get out of the nose? Well, it just so happens that this 12-year-0ld boy has a fabulously smart mother who had him block one nostril while blowing out the other. Yes, I realize we could have damaged his eardrums, but there was just enough airflow around the lodged bean that I did not believe we were in danger of rupturing the eardrum. Plus, his dad said there was no way he was taking the boy to the emergency room to have a JellyBelly extracted from his nose.

What Would You Do?

Well we've had some snow! In our little neck of the woods we are up to about 36 inches--that's 3 feet for those of you who don't like to do the math. 3 frickin' feet of SNOW! I hate it! The snow is falling so fast that I can hardly keep up with the shoveling. Matter-of-fact, I've given up (at least for now. I'll probably go out again when David gets home from work). Earlier this morning I was on the phone with my mother-in-law and told her that if we could find a snowblower in stock anywhere, I would totally buy it. I told her "I don't even care if they say it is 1000 bucks. I'm desparate!" Well, I called every stinkin' store in the greater Spokane area only to find out that they are all sold out--EXCEPT for the power equipment store just around the corner from me. They have one in stock. The sales guy said it would totally take care of all the snow. Guess how much it is. That's right...$1000.00. Oh the dilemma!

The Element of Surprise

I do not like the cold. I do not enjoy the snow. If I could, I would live year-round in someplace that is warm and sunny 98% of the year. Today's events just confirm that I am NOT a snow-lover (or really even a snow appreciator). I'm sitting quietly in my warm, cozy office (somehow I've managed to convince them that I really need the temperature set at 78 degrees to be fully functional--actually my office doesn't have its own temperature regulator so I just think it gets hot)...anyway, there I am doing paperwork when a blinking light and blaring alarm go off. It is a fire drill. Fortunately I am in my warm, cozy office where I keep my coat and gloves so I am able to grab them quickly--unlike the 200 1st and 2nd graders who were watching "Safety Santa" in the lunchroom and had to evacuate out without the coats, gloves, hats, boots, etc. Oh, I forgot to mention that we are in the middle of a tremendous Artic Blast and it has been snowing all day. So out we trudge into the snow and cold. Not a happy face was seen--teachers, students or staff were all shivering and frowny. Ironically, and fortunately, "Saftey Santa" is from the fire department and we were able to re-enter the building quite quickly. Apparently if you have an unplanned fire drill, only the fire department can let you back in the building. Yeah for Safety Santa and the fire department!!

Top Dog

Here he is...the All-League champion for 75 pounds. Carson not only went undefeated for the season, he won every reagular season match by pin. I think he only gave up 4 points all season. During the All-league tourney, he wrestled 3 great matches. His first one (the only match all year where he didn't win by pin) was won 9-0. The other two were pins. All this was accomplished with having a dislocated middle finger on the right hand, which might require hand surgery. He is going to the hand surgeon on Monday.

Anyway, we are pretty proud of this guy and this will definitely make it on the "Graham Top Ten List for 2008". Great job, Carson.

Full disclosure

Remember the commercials that Group Health ran a couple of years ago about the guy with a rash? He was in his cubicle at work trying to schedule an appointment for his rash without announcing to the entire office his dilemma? Remember, he was discreetly trying to whisper, "I have a rash" to the appointment scheduler? Well if that was a perfect example of discretion, the following conversation would be the exact opposite... Setting: health room at Greenacres Elementary--1st grader is getting a band-aid for his finger Cast: 1st grade student and assistant secretary 1st grader: "I remember when I was in here before. I had a rash." Secretary: "You did? Do you still have the rash?" 1st grader: "No. I'm wiping much better now." The previous conversation is one of the reasons why I love being a school nurse--full disclosure from 1st graders. They tell it like it is.

Doesn't Fit

Did you happen to catch the Hallmark movie on Sunday, Front of the Class? It was a semi-autobiographical presentation about a young man with Tourette Syndrome and his struggles in public education. The young man eventually prevailed, in spite of the public education setting, and is now a teacher--I believe he is still in Atlanta. It was a good movie and a pretty accurate portrayal of how Tourette's was dealt with in the public education setting 20 years ago. I wish that I could say that a lot has changed, but sadly it hasn't. Sure the Americans with Disabilities Act and Individuals with Disabilities Act ensure that children with Tourette's and other mental health or physical health issues are not discriminated against and that they can attend public schools. The problem is that nowhere is there any funding to provide support for teachers who teach these youngsters. Teachers do their best, but if the child doesn't fit nicely into the "normal" catagory, things can get ugly. I have a lot of empathy for the parents as well as the teachers. It is a difficult situation and with large class sizes, quite challenging to meet everyone's needs. One of my roles as a school nurse is to help explain the different conditions and their impact on the child's educational experience. I also try to help provide the much needed support but I am only at my buildings on a part-time basis. What I really hope to accomplish is to help the teachers understand where the student is at, what they are capable of, and that it may or may not be realistic to compare them to their same-aged peers. We just need to accept them where they are at and help them achieve from there. I am in no way trying to say that people with mental health or other disabilities cannot be successful or that they should be pigeon-holed into a certain stereotype. What I am trying to say is that in the public education world we need to make an extra effort to accept everyone as an individual with their own unique abilities, strengths and weaknesses. This takes a lot of effort. I guess what brought this discussion to the forefront was the movie on Sunday, thinking about how my own brother struggled in school because of an undiagnosed mental illness and learning disabilty, and several recent meetings regarding students who do not fit the "mold" and teachers are struggling--struggling with how to manage behaviors, struggling to know how to best help the student, struggling to find ways to engage students in learning. Unfortunately not everyone is going to fit the easily into the "normal" catagory. It's been about 20 years since the man from Front of the Class was in school. I wish I could say that now it is so much better, but it isn't. Public education still tries to stuff everyone in a box. In the public education world, if you have a physical or mental health disability, you still very much are a square peg living in a round world.

Do you love 12-year olds?

My boy Carson is great. He has a sly, subtle sense of humor. He has a mischevious little smile that gives him away immediately. He is, for the most part, caring and considerate. Carson adores his cousins (well, he adores the girls, but I think he would object to me using the word "adore" when talking about Travis and the other boy cousins). But make no mistake, he is also a 12 year old boy! 12 year old boys do not always fully engage their prefrontal cortex when making decisions. Because of this it causes them to leave messages like this on the home answering machine: "Hey mom, I'm going to the gym with Chambo and some of the other guys. Shopping at about 5 tonight will work best for me. See you later." See if he would have fully engaged the executive functioning area of his brain he would have realized that in no way, shape, or form would it be okay to call and leave a message informing his mom that was changing the carefully-made afternoon plans. Hopefully he also would have thought through the consequences of not talking to an actual person--meaning NO ONE knew where he was because NO ONE was home to hear the message. This caused generally low-key dad to place a somewhat panicked (maybe just irritated because remember so mentioned dad is in the car with 5 teen-age girls on the way to Twilight) phone call to working mom, "Have you heard from Carson? Is he with you? I waited at the school and then I drove home. He is not at either place." Fortunately for the 12-year old boy, his mom was once a 12-year old and in middle school. She remembered herself pulling much the same stunt, although because mom was 12 in ancient days before cell phones, she didn't even call to inform parents that she was changing plans. So, so-mentioned working mom chuckled to herself about the situation and called grandma because working mom knew that grandma would appreciate the coming full circle. By the way, as soon as working mom heard the message you can bet she got right back in the car and retrieved so-said 12 year old boy from the gym AND took him on the previously planned shopping trip. Remembering that you were 12 once, and you also did not always fully engage your brain when making decisions, can help you love 12 year olds and even find the humor in their actions. Just remember to act very, very disappointed at first otherwise they might believe that their lack of good judgment is OK.

Father of the Year

Raising teen-agers can be tough. They get these ideas in their heads that to them seem like the perfect plan and they just don't seem to understand why other, more mature people, don't view them in the same light. When these ideas come up I usually just try to squash them right away. I always have a million reasons for "why this is not a good idea". Fortunately for my children, Heavenly Father lead me to a patient, loving man (who at times is still half-adolescent himself). His usual response is "Sure, why not" especially if the idea is not too far in left field. He even responds this way if the idea has a direct impact on him. For this reason, I believe my husband deserves Father of the Year. That and the fact that he agreed to take Katelyn and 4 of her closest friends to watch Twilight tomorrow afternoon. Yes, my dear readers you read that correctly. My very manly, macho husband will be accompanying 5 teen-age girls (between the ages of 14 and 15) to see a movie about a teen-age girl in love with a vampire and her best friend who happens to be a werewolf. How in the world did Katelyn talk him in to that you ask? Something about big, blue "doe" eyes and a dimpled smile. What will I be doing? It really is unfortunate that David insists on me being a working mom and I don't get off tomorrow until 3:40 and their show starts at 3:10. So sad. (Wa ha ha, evil laugh).

Focus on the Family

Thanksgiving was awesome! All of my brothers, sister, sisters-in-law, brother-in-law, nieces, nephews, and grandma were up to visit at my parent's home. I can't even think of the last time that all five of us kids were together. And the best part--no family drama, well at least not when I was visiting up at my parent's home. I really enjoyed being able to visit with everyone. A few highlights:

• Taking Charlotte to eat at McDonald's. She enjoyed every french fry and chicken nugget that we gave her. We then went back to my parent's house and Carson played with Charlotte (did I mention she is 20 months old) for another 2 hours!
• The Thanksgiving FEAST! My mom and dad really outdid themselves. The food was fabulous and eating at 3 long tables was great--somehow David and I managed to position ourselves at the far end of the table away from all the small children. Not to worry, Katelyn was strategically placed and was able to help all of the little cousins cut their food.
• The traditional movie on Friday night. We was Bolt. It was very funny.
• Visiting with everyone. I wish my brothers and sister didn't live so far away. I get such a kick out of my nieces and nephews, as does my husband (see below).
• David. There is just something about him. When he is around, the decibal level of all children seems to increase about 100 fold. One of the things that I love most about him--his ability to entertain and interact with kids.

I spent all weekend just reflectingand focusing on how grateful I am for my family and all of my blessings. This weekend was a wonderful way to start off the Christmas season.