Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

So Friday I was at the gyno's office, discussing gyno things. I think the yearly visits are bad enough, but when things are a little "off" and you have to make an extra trip, I think that is almost unmentionable. And I really wasn't going to mention it at all except Dave thought the story was funny. And I promise it is all G-rated stuff. So the conversation was going along nicely UNTIL the doctor said "Well, you know at your age". I'm sure she continued in her side of the conversation, but my mind stopped immediately at the "At your age" comment. Suddenly I was thinking, am I really at "at your age" status? How did that happen? When did that happen? And then I was thinking that what I really wanted to tell the doctor was "Excuse me, doc, but if 40 is the new 20 then I'm only 18! So don't give me any of that "at your age" mumbo jumbo. Slowly my mind re-focused just in time to hear her say...so I think that you could consider yourself in the perimenopausal time, even though you are a little young for that. Oh sure, now you try and salvage the conversation by trying to assuage the feelings of someone you had just informed was "at your age" status. Then she proceeded to order a mammogram and breast ultrasound (the reasons why I made an extra trip to the gyno's office). Roll forward to today and here are the G-rated basics of the mammogram and ultrasound. First, there should be a better way to take x-rays of those things. Squishing them as flat as you can and then turning a knob to squish them even flatter is pretty darn near as painful as giving birth and passing a kidney stone (both of which I have done on more than one occasion). Second, why is it the breast that isn't giving you problems is the one that gets the call back for another round of fun and pictures? Third, if you are the ultrasound tech, just don't say anything because when you say "everything looks normal" after scanning one breast and then saying nothing except "I'm going to show these pictures to the radiologist" after scanning the other breast (the one that got the call back), one begins to wonder if something is wrong. And finally, when you and the radiologist come back into the room with your eyes downcast and the rest of your face looking somber, that sends an immediate message that something is wrong. So if the news is good, come in with a more positive approach. Fortunately all is well and I should be good to go when I turn "20" in a couple of years. PS Sorry brothers if this was too much for you. But Dan, let this be a lesson to you--work on your facial expressions before you hit residency! Don't try and appear neutral because I think that will always be read as "trouble is brewin'".