Happy Birthday Boy

Today you are 14. Happy birthday little buddy. I can't believe that you are 14 already. I can't believe that you are going to be a freshman! next year. I really don't know where the time has gone. I still feel like there are so many things that I should teach you before you leave. Yes, I know you still have 4 more years at home with us. But really, that is just about as long as a blink of the eye. I wrote a list of things I think you should know. Did you know that I am a "list" person? So is your dad. Those two things weren't on the list, but maybe they should be. Anyway, the list...

1. You should know that I am going to miss driving you to school each day. This last school year I really enjoyed doing this for you, even though the drive was only about 5 minutes. Sometimes we had the best little talks in that 5 minutes.
2. You should know that I am also going to miss not having you at a school that I work at. This is the first time in 8 years that I won't get to see you at some point during the school day.
3. You should know that high school is a clean slate. Make sure that you make a good first impression.
4. You should know that first impressions really count. Right or wrong, people place a lot of value on their first impression of you.
5. You should know that your dad and I will always be here for you. We will do our best to help you.
6. You should know that you are the only person I will play basketball with. Shooting hoops in the basement has been a lot of fun for me. Even though I'm really bad at it and I don't like to do things that I am really bad at.
7. You should know not to ever let the fear of failure interfere with the possibility of success. Yes, sometimes the learning curve is steep, but the rewards of accomplishment are often great.
8. You should know that I have been so impressed with how well you have done keeping up with the kitchen-cleaning duties. You have set a very good example for your sister to follow when she has to start resuming some of her kitchen responsibilities next month.
9. You should know that the word "gospel" means good news. And with good news comes peace, happiness and joy.
10. You should know that by living the gospel teachings, as found in the Holy Bible and Book of Mormon, you will find the most happiness, joy, and peace. I know this to be true. I know that living a Christ-like life and trying to always do God's will, will not always be easy. But it will always be worth it.
11. You should know that when I was 18, I received a special blessing. That blessing said that one of my greatest gifts and blessings would be my children. You should know that you truly are a fulfilment of that blessing.
12. You should know that you were not sent to this family by accident. We needed you in our family. We have many things to learn from each other.
13. You should know that I know some day you will make a terrific father. You have the same natural ease around children that your father and Uncle Dan have.
14. You should know that no matter how big you get, you will always be my "little buddy".

I hope you have a terrific birthday, Carson. I love you.

PS You should know that I almost made it through typing this whole list without crying. I'm sure you know by now that I am a crier

Summer Jobs

Corner lemonade stands, mowing the neighbors' lawns, weekend car washes; kids just trying to make a few bucks for the summer. Do you remember what some of your summer jobs were? Some of my favorite memories are working at Mickey D's during the summer months. The town I grew up in was a thoroughfare to the beach. During the summer was always busy. And it usually meant out-of-towners, which meant a whole new batch of guys to flirt with. So much fun.

I don't know if Katelyn and Carson will remember their summer jobs as fondly, but for the past few years they sure have been hard workers during the summer. There was their 3 year run as "farmers" selling produce at the farmer's market

A job which brought in a good profit for them, but that they decided was "too much work".

So in an effort to avoid so much work, they both chose not to do a booth this year. Nope, instead they opted for these summer jobs:

Bucking hay (see haystack photo above)

Building a deck And helping Grandma Whiting organize her sewing room (Katelyn needed a few more $'s than Carson because of cell phone expenses) My hat goes off to them both for doing such great work. They haven't indicated any regret in giving up the farmer's market, but to me, it seems like they have worked a lot harder this summer.

Ways Children Keep You Humble

It seems like there is an endless amount of ways children can draw attention to your flaws. When they are toddlers, they decide to throw amazing, out-of-control tantrums at the most inopportune times just so they can see how you are going to handle all of the unwanted attention. Seriously, haven't you just about wanted to crawl under a rock when one of those screaming fits rears its ugly head. I mean, you are in a no-win situation. You get the "eye roll" from those who wonder why in the world you aren't doing a better job of controlling that monster you call a child. Or you get the "pity smile" from those who have been there, done that. Either response makes you feel like an utter failure as a parent (well, at least that's how I felt more often than not). Then they get a little bigger and become more verbal. This leads to more direct attacks on your flaws. I once had a 3rd grader tell me my lips were really gross (I have chronically chapped lips, no matter what treatment I use). And then they turn into teen-agers and really know how to cut you to the quick. Recent conversation involving son, daughter, and me... Brother to sister (sister says she's not hungry and doesn't want to eat dinner): What? Is getting a "muffin top" your biggest nightmare? Me: It's my biggest nightmare. Daughter to me: Mom, you already have a muffin top. Thud. That was me falling down several notches on the self-esteem scale. When I asked her later if she would ever consider saying that to her friends, she said "No way." I then asked why she thought it would be OK to say such a thing to me and she had really no response. Maybe she had heard her dad say to me when we were discussing cosmetic enhancements (I have always wanted to have a nose job)..."Honey, I married you with that nose. But I would be OK with you having lipo because that wasn't the stomach you had when I married you."

Ding Dong the Fish is Dead

(Humming the tune Ding Dong the Witch is Dead from Wizard of Oz): Ding dong the fish is dead Which fish? The freaky fish. Ding dong the freaky fish is dead. When Carson was 10 he really wanted a fish tank and fish for his birthday. So we got him one. I was hesitant because of the up-keep that goes into fish tanks, but David and Carson both assured me that Carson could take care of the fish and the tank. Well, guess who was cleaning the tank every 2 weeks? Me. Carson did help on occassion, which I was very grateful for the help. But last year, I was fed up with cleaning the dang thing so I turned it completely over to Carson. I had to just keep his bedroom door closed so I couldn't see the state of the tank. Slowly, the fish began to die. Except for this one fish. It was a hot pink fish. It was tenacious. It held out for a very long time. Every week I would ask if it had died yet (I was desparate to get rid of the fish tank). Every week, the same response, "Nope. Still going strong." We started to refer to it as the "freaky fish" because we couldn't believe it was still living in such squalor. Then last night, I heard the most welcoming words, "Hey, the freaky fish finally died." Carson sent him to a watery grave. But now I think the fish is haunting our pipes because they started "pinging" right after the funeral.

My Brain is Afflicted with Summer-time ADD

I really, really like summer. And it has very little to do with the fact that I have a summer birthday. Matter of fact, I really don't like birthdays. Not because this past Saturday I entered into my 40th year of life--that doesn't bother me. I am not sure what "almost 40" is supposed to feel like, but I feel great. With the exception of a few melancholy moments when I realize that Katelyn will be a junior next year and Carson will be a freshman. The years just seem to be going faster and faster. No, the reason I don't particularly enjoy birthdays is that I always have some romantic notion of how my birthday should be all about me, with family and friends entertaining me, and it never works out that way. Then I wind up feeling guilty, ashamed, and immature to think that somehow my birthday should be exclusively about me. No, the reason I like summer is because it gives me time to allow my brain to flit from one random thought to another. And since I don't have to be organized and task-oriented in the summer, this randomness of thinking is refreshing. Strangely enough, I also find that this unstructured thinking leads often to moments of great inspiration. And sometimes funny converstations. Example: I have been trying to think of a way that I could determine which of Carson's friends he would most like to spend time with this summer. If you just flat out ask him, well you don't get much of a response. So I tried to go about it in a different route. I asked him if he were on a deserted island who would he want to be stranded there with. He said...."Probably a girl." At first I was caught off guard by his response. Then I laughed and told him that was a totally appropriate response for a 14 year old boy. Unfortunately, it didn't fulfill the my goal of determining which of his friends I should call to get them to call Carson to invite him to do something. Still working on that. Here are some other random thoughts for today:

• Little Roo got a compliment today from a random stranger. I thought it was very nice. Then I got thinking about how many times I have missed giving a compliment. Was it because I was too busy? Was it because I felt awkward or that it might not seem sincere?
• Then I thought my conversation with my friend Jessice R. at boot camp this morning. She is a terrific mom. She has 5 kids. I don't know how she does it. I should have told her I am impressed by all she does. So Jessica R. if you are reading this, I apologize for not passing on the compliment earlier. But I do think you are a good mom, raising wonderful childrent.
• Then I thought of my friend Jessica A. Another awesome mom who is just discovering the joys of raising a boy. She is also super talented when it comes to home decorating. Again, late on the complimenting, but please know Jessica A. that I think you rock.
• Final random thought for this morning was...how do you go about opening an ice cream store? I think the community of LL is definitely lacking in this area. I don't mean a franchise. I mean a store similar in feel to The Scoop on the South Hill. Where do you even begin. And if I can't do an ice cream store, how about a genuine BBQ pit?

See, summer-time ADD. I just have random thoughts that go round and round in my head. During the school year I completely ignore them because I don't have time to get off-track and distracted.

Toddlers and Teen-agers

Have I ever told you my theory regarding toddlers and teen-agers? No? Well my theory is that toddlers and teen-agers have the same brain. Well, not exactly the same brain, because teen-agers have more experience. But sometimes, I would swear their thought patterns, teen-agers and toddlers, are the same. And recent brain research would indicate that this theory might just hold water. So, if you are a parent of a toddler and you find yourself repeating, "This is just a phase. We'll make it through", you might want to remember that phrase for when they are teen-agers. Because, I promise you, you will see many of the same behaviors repeated...

• random temper tantrums--yep.
• various ways of saying "I do it myself"--definitely
• moments when you say "What were you thinking?"--oh yeah
• daily messes--certainly, except toddlers usually aren't as sassy when they are asked to help clean up.
• afternoon naps--Hallelujah!

But just like with toddlers, you quickly learn not to mess with the afternoon naptime of a teen-ager. They get very grumpy! And they are a lot harder to put to bed earlier. But I really love my teen-agers. And for the most part, they are very good. And when they are taking an afternoon siesta, I just want to cuddle up to them and hold on to them forever. But my recent attempt at gently hugging a sleeping teen generated this response, "Why do have to look at me or hug me when I'm sleeping?" See what I mean about not messing with a sleeping teen?