Are We Doing This All Wrong?

Parenting has to be the hardest job/calling I have ever taken on. It challenges me to be creative, flexible, caring, protective, loving, authoritative without being authoritarian, kind, humble, and a million other characteristics. I love my kids and I love being their mom. But sometimes I worry that I am doing it all wrong. That perhaps in my attempt to protect them and guide them, I am squashing their independence and natural curiosity. I usually don't worry about how the hubby and I are doing as parents. However, there have been 3 separate instances lately that make me wonder if we are being to guarded and protective of Katelyn. I worry that we aren't letting her grow-up. Instance #1: A couple of weeks ago David and I rented He's just not that into you. Katelyn said that one of her friends from church had watched it and thought it was very funny. Well, as David and I were watching it (previewing it to make sure it was appropriate for our kids) all I could think was "I can't believe M's mom let her watch this." The next day I was headed off to work and I asked the kids not to watch the movie because I didn't feel it was appropriate for them. Katelyn brought up the fact that her friend had seen it. I said that I was surprised that M's mom had let her watch it and then I explained why I did not feel it was appropriate to watch. I left the house wondering if I had done the right thing. Had I totally interfered with Katelyn's agency and cut off the chance for her to make the right choice? Am I stifling her growth and developing independence? Instance #2: This past week we were on vacation with my whole family (parents, siblings, siblings spouses, and lots of kids). Katelyn was the oldest kid there. The next oldest was Carson. My brother said, "It just blows my mind that Katelyn is going to be 16 in October." I asked why he said that. He replied, "Because she doesn't act like any 16 year old girl that I know". This converstation took place as we watched Katelyn happily coloring with all of her younger cousins. So again I was left to question if we were giving her the needed space to grow and express her independence. To me she seems just right--worried about her hair, worried about her outfits, interested in boys. The thing that I love most about her though is that none of these things totally consume her life and maybe that is what my brother meant. Instance #3: When we returned home Katelyn had a link to a friend's blog. The friend had sent her the link because the friend was using the blog as a way to write short stories. Somehow David wound up on the blog first and read the story. He asked Katelyn not to read the story until I had a chance to read it. Katelyn complied and I read the story. I must admit that I was a little surprised by what the girl (another friend from church) wrote. While most of it was pretty benign, there was a scene where the man forced himself on his new wife. The description wasn't anything graphic, but you definitely knew what was going on. It was also a little disturbing that the friend had decided to make the antagonist's name, Mr. Graham. I told Katelyn that she could read the story if she wanted to. I also told her about the part where Mr. Graham takes advantage of his new wife. After she finished on the computer I asked her if she read the story. She said yes. I asked what she thought and she said that she thought it was a little weird. She also was surprised that her friend would write some of the things that she had written. But again, I was wondering if we were protecting Katelyn too much. So how do you know if you are doing the parenting thing right? Am I crazy to worry about such things? I just don't want Katelyn to feel like we are smothering her and not giving her the chance to stand on her own. It's not the letting them grow up that it is hard, it's knowing how to let them grow-up.