The F Word

Yes, that F word.

The four letter word that rhymes with truck.

The mother of all swear words. The word uttered by Ralphie as he watched the bolts he was supposed to be holding go flying through the air. The word that earned him a bar of soap in his mouth as soon as he got home.

I was about Ralphie's age when I first used that word. I think I was yelling at some boy in our neighborhood. My dad must have been the one who overheard me yell the expletive because he is the one who meted out my punishment. My consequence was not a bar of soap in my mouth. That would have been too easy. No, my punishment involved listening  to my dad explain what the F-word truly meant. That it was a derogatory slang word for sex. He then went on to make sure that I understood what sex was. I don't remember his exact words, but I'm sure I was squirming as he was talking to me about the subject. A bar of soap in my mouth would have probably been a preferred consequence.

I was reminded of that long-ago conversation the other day as I read an Instragram post that ended with the 'Grammer saying she ended her workout feeling strong AF. AF is short for "as f ***". AF has become a phrase that people often use to add emphasis to how they are feeling.

But as I read the AF, I had myself a giggle as I substituted the word "sex" for the f-word. After all, that is what the f-word means. So this girl finished her workout feeling strong as sex. Well, good for her.

Then I began to think, what would happen if people really started thinking about what they were saying and using the real word, not the slang term? Can you imagine...

Guilty AF turns into guilty as sex. Wow, if sex is causing you guilt, sounds like an issue that needs to be resolved.

Dirty AF turns into dirty as sex. Well, that says a little more about you than I really want to know.

Happy AF turns into happy as sex. Sex should be a happy thing, so I guess this one isn't too bad.

Or how about, when crying out "F***" in frustration, you just yell out "SEX". Hope that brings you some relief.

Anyway, the point is, I was reminded of my dad's lecture about what the F word really means and the phrase AF sounds pretty silly if you substitute the word "sex" for the f-word.

Oh, after my dad talked to me, I did stop using that word for awhile. I went through a stretch in junior high and high school where it was my favorite word. But sometime during my senior year in high school, I just quit using it. Haven't said it since...and apparently, can't type it out in full either. LOL.

Trail of Terror 13.1 Race Report

Last Saturday I ran the Trail of Terror half marathon. I was the fourth or fifth time that I have done this particular race and it was my best time on the course. Not only did I a PB, I also finished 2nd in my age group and was 3rd woman overall. The weather was perfect for running! About 55 degrees at race time with a slight breeze. Sometimes the breeze was a tailwind and sometimes it was a headwind. I love headwinds. They make feel strong as I push into it!

The race started at noon, which can sometimes make it a little tricky to know how to fuel. This is what I did and it seemed to work out just right! For the two days proceeding the race, I took Nox at bedtime. This supplement helps increase nitric oxide and preps my body for endurance. I also took another Nox at 9 am on Saturday morning. At 8 am on race day, I had my usual breakfast shake. Then 45 minutes before the race I took a pre-workout drink. With 15 minutes to go before the race start, I took my GU stroopwafel that contained a small amount of electrolytes and caffeine. During the race, I took another stroopwafel at mile 8 and an eshot at mile 10. I grabbed water at 2 aid stations (mile 8 and 10).

It's been a few year since I have run this course and it was a lot hillier than I remembered it being. But, I've run a lot of hills so I didn't let the hills worry me. My goal was to run the first 2-3 miles at an 8:45 pace and then pick it up after that. My first mile was a little fast at 8:21, but mile 2 was an 8:44 and mile 3 was an 8:45. After than I did pick up the pace. I felt so strong and confident. My stride felt smooth. Even though I was wearing my Garmin, I decided that I wasn't going to look at it. Sometimes, when I look at my Garmin, I panic about the pace. Because I was feeling so good during this race, I decided to forego looking at my Garmin and just run on feel.

Another goal was no walking. I almost achieved this goal, but at miles 8 and 9 I could feel myself bonking as I was running the hills for the 2nd time. I walked through the aid station at mile 8 as I took in my stroopwafel and then I walked briefly sometime between mile 9 and 10 after summitting another hill. Even with those walk breaks, my paces for miles 8 and 9 were 9:09 and 9:21. I realized that I waited too long to fuel and that is what caused the slower paces. Now I know, so next time I'll do better.

I am so happy for how this race went! My overall pace was 8:33 for 13.1. I'm looking forward to my next training cycle and preparing to get another BQ time.

Conquering Mt. Borah

I have always been a bit fascinated with mountain climbing. Thoughts about climbing mountain peaks have lingered in the back of my mind for many years. However, I haven't had too many opportunities to summit mountains or peaks. The boys (Dave and Carson) summitted Mt. Adams last year, but I wasn't able to make it. But I was all in, sort of, when they decided to climb Mt. Borah, the highest peak in Idaho. I say "sort of" because once I started researching the climb and learned about a section called Chicken Out Ridge, I almost decided "nope, I'm out". More on that later.

Before I get to a hike summary I need to say that if you had asked me to do this hike even 10 years ago, I'm not sure that I would have made it. But in this last couple of years, I have seen such an improvement in my physical stamina and mental fortitude. I say "thank you" to marathon training and Isagenix for helping me improve in those areas. The marathon training not only prepared my body physically, it has helpd me to learn that I can do hard things and can soldier on even when physically exhausted. Using Isagenix, has filled my body with quality nutrition that has helped me be able to train for marathons and climb mountains. The week before the climb I used Isagenix's nitric oxide booster, Nox, and it made a world of difference for me. I had no headache, dizziness or shortness of breath due to altitude. It was amazing!

And now for the truly amazing...our summit story.

We arrived at the campsite on a late Friday afternoon. There were already about 12 cars there so we parked in the parking area and set up our tent next to our car. We did a little exploring around the area, but mostly we just relaxed and planned for an early bedtime because the next day was going to be a super early start. Oh, we did have one little interesting adventure that night. Dave decided he needed to charge his phone so he plugged it into the car and ran the car's battery on auxiliary power to charge the phone. Um, he should have turned the car on because he wound up draining the battery. We decided, as we went to bed, that the drained battery would be a problem to solve after we climbed Mt. Borah. We needed to focus on tomorrow's main task...conquering Mt. Borah.

We started the next morning at about 4:30 am. We made the mistake of letting Carson set the pace. I think he was pretty excited to get going and that excitement led to a pretty stiff march as we covered the first mile in about 20 minutes all while gaining elevation. David took a little natural break at the mile marker and that helped slow Carson down. After about a mile, the pitch of the hike increases pretty significantly without a lot of switchbacks to break up the pitch. That could have totally wrecked my calf muscles, but I had been practicing a trick David told me about. When climbing steep climbs, make sure that your back leg extends completely before you bring it forward. It makes your steps a little slower and more deliberate, but it will help take the pressure off of your calves.

Another mile of hiking and we were now above the tree line and out of the mosquitoes! Oh man were the mosquitoes thick as we were going through the last section of trees! Once above the tree line, the trail consists of more loose rocks and skree. I didn't love that very much.

We hiked for about another half mile (now we are about 2.5 miles into our hike and one hour) and decided to take a little break and have a snack. I was using Gu Stroopwafels and Isagenix bars as my trail food. I also had an Isagenix energy shot with me. So at this break, I had a Stroopwafel and my energy shot. And of course, water! I was carrying a hydration pack to make sure that I drank enough water as we were climbing.

Our rest break over, we continued up the trail. Chicken Out Ridge (COR) was in view and I was looking for places to opt out. But seeing only exposed skree, I decided to give it a go. I tried to shut out all of the descriptions of COR I had read and the YouTube videos I had watched as I worked my way towards this big obstacle. I told myself those people aren't me. I can do hard things.

We eventually reached COR. It was only about a half mile from where we took our break, but it seemed like it took us forever to get there. Hiking at elevation takes work and time! There were already a few people on COR when we got there so we had to wait a bit to start our climb. Carson led the way and did a pretty good job of picking a route for us.

We scrambled, climbed, and picked our way up, over, and across COR. I kept repeating in my head, "You can do this. You aren't going to die today" as well as "Three points of contact at all times." Sometimes I had to say those things out loud so I believed them.

I think COR is probably about 200 yards, but it sure felt longer as we were going across. But soon enough, it was time to go down and across the snow bridge.

The snow bridge led to the trail that would take us to the summit. I thought "Finally! Only a half mile or so to go!" But man! That last little push was nothing but UP!

We finally made the summit after hiking for a little over 3 hours. It was windy and cold up on the summit. And the smoke from the fires in the Washington and Montana made the view a little hazy. But we made it!

We spent some time at the summit to refuel, enjoy the scenery and begin thinking about what we were going to do about the dead car battery. Soon enough, it was time to head back down.

I decided that I would much rather climb up than go down. I may have been keeping a decent pact while going up, but on the way back down, I was slow and cautious. My slow pace drove Carson bonkers! Once we finally reached the tree line, we told him to go on ahead and see if he could find someone in the parking area with jumper cables. That was all he needed to hear and he was off at a quick trot down the trail. David patiently waited for me to pick way down and we, too, eventually made it back down to the trail head.

Carson hadn't had much luck finding anyone with jumper cables, which was a bit disconcerting.  Fortunately, a family pulled in that had jumper cables. So while Dave was getting the car jumped, Carson and I broke down camp. Getting the battery to take a charge took a little bit longer than expected, and getting the car to actually start was more of a frustration than it should have been. It wasn't until Dave remembered a tip given to him a few months earlier when he was having trouble getting a rental car to start, that we were finally able to get our car to start. The trick is for cars with push button starts, you need to hold the fob close to the button (or use the fob to push the button) in order to get the car to start. I think it must reboot the computer or something. Anyway, we finally got the car started, loaded, and we were off to home.

We did make a brief stop, with me staying in the car with it running, for Dave and Carson to take a rinse-off swim in the Salmon River. And then we stopped in Salmon, ID for dinner. But those were the only stops on our drive home.

All in all, it was an amazing adventure and I am looking forward to bagging my next summit. As long as it isn't a technical ascent. That's what I liked about Borah, it wasn't too technical. It didn't require ropes, ice axes, crampons, etc.

Let's Celebrate Kate!

This lady right here...I'm so dang proud of her and love being able to say that I am her mom. She is another great example of grit.

School never came super easy to Katelyn. Reading and math, you know the core components of the educational process, were her biggest hurdles. There were many tears and long nights of homework from middle school through high school. We provided a lot of scaffolding around Katelyn in order to keep her going. Through her hard work and our support, she graduated from high school with a decent GPA (above a 3.0) and headed off to college.

Unfortunately, college wasn't a great experience. The classes were overwhelming and she didn't have the close support from us. After her first semester of college, and not understanding why she was having such a difficult time with learning, we took her to have some testing done. Turns out she has a learning disability that affects her working memory and processing speed. Oiy, if there were do-overs for parenting, I would take one on this. I would have had her tested much earlier so we would have been better prepared sending her off to college.

At the start of second semester, Katelyn took her test results and did get a 504 plan to get accommodations for testing and assignments. We were hopeful that this would be helpful and Katelyn would be able to find the success we knew she was capable of. It turned out not to be quite enough. The second semester finished not much better than the first and Katelyn felt pretty defeated.

She took an 18-month break from school and served a mission for our church.

Once she returned from her mission, and not wanting to completely give up on her college dreams, she returned to school. She was there for only a month or so when the stress became too much and she wound up very sick. We brought her home to re-group.

During the re-grouping time, she got married and moved back to Logan. She worked as a waitress and wrestled with what her long-term education/vocational plans were. After about a year, she and her husband moved to Spokane (yay!) so Katelyn could go to massage therapy school.

And in massage therapy school is where success happened. Katelyn was totally in her element. She was doing something she really loved (and she is super good at doing massage!). She found her confidence again and got her mojo back. It was so awesome to watch her begin to shine again!

She excelled in her hands-on classes as well as on her written exams. She was often the student people requested when they came to massage clinic.

She graduated as one of the top students in her class.

The only hurdle she faced was the state licensing exam. The teachers and other students had talked about how the statistics for successfully passing the test on the first try weren't great. Ugh, that is the last thing that Katelyn really needed to hear. And then Katelyn's study buddy failed the test on her first try. Again, not what Katelyn needed.

She sent me a text saying she was really freaking out. I knew she would be because she has suffered from test anxiety in the past. But my return text didn't say anything validating the freak-out mode. I encouraged her to start saying positive affirmations to herself, meditating and picturing herself being calm and confident on test day.

And then I started offering up many prayers on her behalf.

Well, I haven't received a play-by-play on how exactly the test went, but she did send a text saying that she passed it without a problem!

This girl is now a licensed massage therapist and she is going to do great things. The words "give up" aren't in her vocabulary. She knows how to work hard and she knows that the best results come from working hard.

I am so proud of the woman she has grown up to be.

Where Has the Time Gone?

I sit here on the floor of my family room with Shark Week on in the background and stare at the computer. My daughter, Katelyn, has been asking why I don't blog any more. I don't really have a good answer for her. It sounds lame to say that I had more to blog about when the kids were home; that somehow I am only interesting if I had kid stories to tell. I didn't want my identity and stories to be wrapped up in being a momma to growing kids because what would happen to me (and my blog) when the kids were grown? 

But even though I didn't want things to happen like that, I did let it happen. I fell into the trap of thinking that I didn't have anything worth blogging about if I didn't have a kid story to tell. I didn't think people would want to read about my own daily activities, or my skewed, sometimes snarky, view of things. But I guess Katelyn really is interested in those things, because she keeps asking when I'm going to start blogging again.

So, ready or not...

I'm blogging again.

About Geese

Autumn has arrived and so has one of my favorite activities.

I love to watch geese flying in formation.

I used to jealous of their flight, knowing that the were heading to warm climes.

Now I don't envy their journey; I know how arduous it must be.

Now, I marvel at the teamwork and support.

The other day I was watching a large flock flying in formation.

One goose broke off and headed out on her own.
I was surprised to see that not one other goose left the group.

That doesn't typically happen.

Usually if a goose leaves the group, another goose follows.

No goose goes alone.

So I began to wonder what had happened.

Why was that goose going it alone?

Did she know this was her last journey?

Or was she a jerk and no other goose wanted to go with her?

Or was she fiercely independent and honked that she would be OK and went on her own?

Watching the geese and thinking all those thoughts

Got me thinking about my own independent self.

I realized that I could learn from the geese.

And when it comes to running, I think I have.

I'm all about the teamwork and support of running with friends.

But in other aspects of my life...

I am fiercely independent and don't like to ask for help.

My recent bout with a toxic thyroid, and feeling like crap,

forced me to accept some offers of help.

And guess what?

Getting help didn't kill me

I might do it more often.

I don't want to be the person who gets left alone.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel Marathon

The genesis of running the Light at the End of the Tunnel started with a comment from a friend after I posted on Facebook about being disappointed in my performance at the Leavenworth Oktoberfest marathon. She simply said, "Congratulations. You can do it. Now pick a better race."

So I googled "Best Races to Qualify for the Boston Marathon". There were several options, including a few with large descents. Well, the Leavenworth marathon had a large descent for the first half and my quads were shot by time I reached the bottom so I didn't want to run another steep downhill race. I also wanted something that I could easily drive to the night before. And with those restrictions in place, The Light at the End of the Tunnel Marathon bubbled up as the top contender.

What made the race so appealing was that it was a gentle downhill grade for most of the race (more on this later), it was only 4 hours from home so definitely driving distance, and it was early enough in June that there was a good chance that the weather would be cool. The only downsides I could see were that it was on a hard-packed gravel trail, not super spectator friendly, and my running buddies couldn't make. But I was determined to make this my race and willing to accept the downsides.

My faithful cheerleader, aka David, drove over with me on Saturday night. It is amazing what a calming presence he is for me. Usually the night before the race, I'm super jittery and have a difficult time falling asleep. But not this time. It was almost like it was a typical night at home--a couple of TV shows, watch the 10 o'clock news and then lights out. And I was asleep pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The race started at 7 am so I was up at 5 to make sure that I could eat something and other attend to other morning necessities (sometimes it takes my intestines a little bit to wake up, if you know what I mean). Dave checked the weather and it looked perfect for running: 44 degrees at the start and maybe upper 60's by finish time. There were some scattered clouds which allowed for filtered sunshine. I was excited to get out the door and have him drop me off at the start line.

Check-in went smoothly, although there was some complaining about not having gear check bags as promised. No worries for me as I often just tie extra layers around my waist while running. Dave found a parking spot and then came to cheer me on at the start.

The gun went off promptly at 7 am and I was off on my biggest race.

The first 1/2 mile is an out and back around the parking lot and then we hit the 2.5 mile long tunnel. Running through the tunnel was interesting--it was narrow, a bit crowded because it occurs so early in the race that runners don't really have the chance to separate, well lit due to everyone's headlamps, and I felt like the tunnel was never going to end. I could be wrong, but it felt like it was a slight up the whole 2.5 miles.

After the tunnel, is when the down slope starts, but it is so gentle it is not noticeable. Although my feet and knees would tell a different story.

At mile 9 I felt the hot spot starting. I tried to wiggle my foot around in my sock to see if that made things better. Nope. There wasn't any vaseline available until mile 13. You can bet that I stopped and greased the heck out of my foot. But, it wasn't enough to prevent the blister. I think the constant down, even though it was slight, was too much. I have never had a blister like that before!

Aside from the developing blister, things went pretty good until mile 18. Mile 18 is my nemesis. It is the mile marker where my brain starts telling me it is tired of running. Then begins this lengthy mind game and war of positive versus negative talk. 

About this time I plugged in some music to see if that would help distract me. A track from Eminen came on and one of the lines was something about "What if this is your one shot?" I don't really remember the rest of the song, but that line stuck with me. This was my one shot. I wasn't going to let the negative win, not this time. That is why I had pushed myself to do such uncomfortable things as the Polar Plunge in a lake that had to have the 2 feet of ice cut so we could plunge. And the Spartan Race that required me to flip 200 pound tires all by myself.

So I pressed on. 

Mile 21 I saw Dave again (hadn't seen him since mile 13). He was super encouraging and said that I was on pace. I wish he could have run with me the rest of the way in as I really had to battle with myself. I did take some walk breaks, but tried hard to keep the pace at under 10 minute miles.

Had I known just how close I was to missing my goal, I may have allowed myself to venture farther in to the pain cave. I didn't know that the time that my Garmin was showing was about 4 minutes faster than what the clock was reading. My Garmin was showing that I was on pace to finish at 3:50. I can only guess that running through the tunnel had somehow messed up the time.

I was thrilled and crushed at the same time as I crossed the finish line and saw that the clock read 3:54:27 and my Garmin showed 3:51. Thrilled because I had achieved my goal of getting a Boston Marathon qualifying time, but crushed because I thought I had run faster. The 3:54:13 (official time) probably isn't fast enough to get me in to Boston.

Never one to give up, I am training for another marathon. This one is in September and will be a pancake-flat course. I'm excited! 

PS This turned into a really long post so I'll have to do a part 3 of my 6 month accountability