Senior Night

Last night was Senior Night at the Central Valley wrestling match against Lewis and Clark HS. So that means it was Carson's last home match of his high school career. And yes, he invited me to attend the match. YAY!

I wasn't sure how I would do, emotion-wise. I had been on the verge of tears all day, even getting misty-eyed at the middle school basketball I was timing at right before the match. I couldn't believe that I was getting teary at a basketball game. Carson didn't ever play basketball! But I kept watching those 8th grade boys, many I have watched grow from early elementary school, and realizing how true the old cliché, "Time goes so by in the blink of an eye" is. I wondered if the parents of those boys really appreciated the honesty of the cliché? I'm sure some of them do since they have been down that path before--moving children on to the high school and into adulthood. But some of them were watching their oldest sons playing a game of middle school basketball and probably not even really thinking ahead to what comes next. And maybe that is how it should be--staying in the moment and not worrying about the next stage. It will come soon enough.

Anyway, by time Senior Night started and Carson's name was called, I was cool as a cucumber. I enjoyed accepting his rose, giving him a hug, thanking the coach and getting a picture to commemorate the occasion. Not even a little mist filled my eyes. It was a fun night.

Oh, and as luck would have it, Carson had a forfeit for the night. Figures...he finally invites me to come to a match and he has a forfeit. Oh well.

Yesterday I Led the Race

Back in 2008, Marla and I were looking for a local 5k to start the new year off on the right foot--ha, ha no pun intended. I can't remember how we found the Frostbite Freeze, but we knew it would be just the right race for us. It was local. It supported a good cause (the Deer Park HS cross-country team). And most importantly, the registration fee couldn't be beat. $22.00 and it included a technical t-shirt.

We have been running that race ever since. Some years the roads are horrible, covered in snow and ice. Other years they are bare. The one thing that remains constant is the community spirit of the race. From the crowded community center where you stand almost elbow to elbow with your fellow racers to the craft fair with local vendors, it is always about community. And the race is about community--running through the little town of Deer Park with many volunteers along the course, placed at every corner so the racers don't go astray.

Yesterday was the 2014 version of the Frostbite 5k. This year the committee moved the events to a newer, bigger venue--the high school. Moving the venue also meant a new course. The committee billed the course as faster and flatter. The thought of a flatter, faster course was exciting as the other  course had a few "ups" that always cause my pace to slow.

Finding the high school was really easy. The parking situation was a lot better than in years past at the old grange hall venue. The vendors had more room. The race was able to accommodate more runners. There was a map posted with the new course showing that indeed, the course was going to be flatter and faster. Yay! All was looking good...flatter, faster course and super cute shirts.

With 5 minutes until the start of the race it was time to head out to the starting area. Even though there did not appear to be a designated start line, there were certainly hundreds of racers all congregated in one area close to the finishing clock. Lots of runners, but no race official which was strange. We waited and waited, but no race starter. In all of the years I have been running the Frostbite, there has always been a race official with a countdown clock.

The official start time, 10 a.m., came and went with no word from any race officials on why the race has been delayed.

10:05 still no start and still no word. By this time, our little group of 10 running ladies is getting a little antsy. All but 2 of us had already run 11 miles that morning and we were anxious to get this last 3.1 done so we could get home. We started joking the we should just start running.

10:10 still no start and still no word. SO FRUSTRATING! We were cold and just wanted to get going. One of the ladies turns to me and says "Heather, you're a good route leader. You should start us out." A moment or two of thinking, hemming and hawing, "are you sure-ing?" and then we were off.

Me and my running friends....leaders of the pack.

Well, I didn't know we had started a pack until we had gone about 200 yards and someone said "Heather, turn around and look behind you." There was just a mass of runners coming up behind us.

We went maybe another 50 yards when we heard a siren go off. They were calling the runners back for an official start. Everyone but our group turned around. Our group just kept on running. We had already decided that we wouldn't turn in our numbers or go through the chute. We were just going to get that last 3.1 done!

The course was not well marked and there were not any volunteers to point out where to go. I was glad that I had reviewed the map and memorized the streets. Unfortunately, when we got to our second turn I doubted myself because the road was a dirt road and covered in ice. I couldn't believe that the race organizers would have us run on that road. But it turns out they did. That mistake cost Jen and I about 100 extra yards. Funny, 100 yards doesn't sound like much but it did take us awhile to catch back up with others from our group who got turned around earlier. And we were no longer in the lead. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. And probably the only time in my life when I will be a race leader.

The Tale of the Luggage

Luggage should mean adventure.

Luggage should mean travel.

Luggage should be a positive.

But when I was 17 years old and received luggage as a graduation gift from my parents, my 17-year old self was extremely disappointed. I have no recollection now of what exactly I was hoping for as a graduation present, I just remember the disappointment at receiving luggage.

I have since learned that luggage is a pretty traditional high school graduation gift. And now after having raised teen-agers and giving serious, honest reflection on my teen-age years (I really was awful and self-centered), I recognize the wisdom in my parent's gift. And that luggage has travelled with me for many years now.

It has carried clothes back and forth to college.

It was packed with care for my honeymoon.

It has carried treasures back from trips to Cancun, Hawaii, South Carolina and many other places.

It carried a week's worth of snacks and juice boxes for my children when they were young and we travelled to DisneyWorld. We were trying to save money by not paying for treats in the park.

And now that luggage will carry my daughter's clothes as she heads out on her mission.

While I may not have recognized the value of this gift when it was received, years have shown me how valuable that old luggage set is. Many memories are carried in that luggage. Oh sure, I still joke about it being a crappy gift, but the joke is on me because it was truly one of the best gifts I have received. When that old luggage (how could 25 years have already passed by?!) is hauled out, I know that I will not only be dragging around luggage, but carrying old memories and creating new ones.

Travel safe my mauve luggage and come back in one piece from Tempe. I'm sure there are still many more adventures and travels we are meant to take together.

On My Way

I added a new challenge this year to my running. I decided to sign up for something I have never done before...my first marathon. I'll be joining my running group at the Wenatchee Marathon in April.

I decided to sign up for the marathon for a couple of reasons. First, my running group looked hard to find a spring marathon that is run on a Saturday. When the group is willing to put that much work into find a race that all of you can do together, how could I say no? I love running with these ladies and am looking forward to training with them.

The next reason I signed up for a marathon is because I wanted to push myself a little bit harder. I wanted to prove to myself that I can slay the self-doubt demons that tend to play with my mind when I am running long distances. I figured that running a marathon would be a great way to build mental toughness and resiliency. And everyone in my running group has run a marathon before so they can help get me through.

I am trying hard  to just stay in the week and not let my mind wander to what is yet to come. I am working on remembering how good each run felt and how I pushed through the tired, want-to-quit moments, and there have been a few of those already.

I'm also being more intentional with my eating. I am increasing the amount of fruits and vegetables in my diet because I really am horrible about even meeting the minimum suggested daily servings. I think my diet will probably most closely resemble a paleo diet when all is said and done, although I won't be giving up my corn tortillas since I use those for bread most of the time.

So the marathon and intentional eating are my new adventures for start of this year. I'm feeling confident that I can do them with a little help from friends and family. Friends for the running. Family for the eating -- this one may be the biggest challenge because my change in diet will impact them as well since they will eat what I eat and I haven't consulted them about the changes.

It's About Time

Say what you will about unions. I say that sometimes having a contract and grievance process is a good thing.

When I was hired by our school district 12 years ago, I was assigned to three buildings and had a caseload of over 1900 students. Our contract language stated that caseload maximum is 1800 students. Being one who feels like if there are rules and contract  language, well then, those things dang well ought to be followed. So of course I asked about the overload and was told not to rock the boat--for your first 3 years as an employee of the district you are considered on provisional status and can be fired at the employer's will. I don't like to let things go, but I also did like my job, so I did let it go. And since the other nurses weren't agitating for change, I didn't bring it up again.

Over the years I have become involved with the union--I did so because I got tired of paying a lot of money every year to an organization I did not feel was doing enough to represent me and fix the overload issue. I started out slow. First I was a building representative for a couple of years. When the executive board decided to add a board position to represent Educational Staff Associates (SLP's, OT's, PT's, school psychologists, and nurses) I decided to run for the position. I have been serving on the executive board for our local association for the past 3 years.

Last year one of the nurses had had enough with the caseload issue--nothing had changed since my hire date 12 years ago. Her caseload was even worse as she had one of the high schools (over 1800 students) and two middle schools. So she agitated for change. And we got some movement from the district. They increased nursing time by 0.5 FTE, enough time to relieve caseload numbers for that nurse and for me.

Unfortunately, there was still one nurse seriously over caseload numbers (she has the other high school and a middle school.) Unbeknownst to me, she had been told that she would also see relief in her numbers. Now, she is a very patient, non-agitator person so she waited and waited and waited. Then this fall when I started pushing to get some health room assistants to help during the peak time of health room use (recess through lunch), she told me she would really like to see her caseload numbers reduced. She then told me how the district had promised her last year that they were working on reducing her numbers and then at the start of this year was told it probably wasn't going to happen.

Wrong answer! By this time I was feeling pretty confident in how the union works and the grievance process. I also felt that with the ground we had gained last year, the district was still receptive to working with us to reduce caseload. I did find that it required a verbal notice of grievance to get them to move and they took the maximum amount of time to move, but on Monday morning the nurse called to tell me that she had had a conversation with our supervisor and he told her she would now be at the high school full-time. We had been approved for another 0.5 FTE.

BOOM! That is an increase in 1.0 FTE over the course of a year. The nursing program hadn't seen any increase in time in over 15 years. We probably wouldn't have seen this increase if 1) we didn't have contract language regarding caseload and 2) nurses were willing to agitate for change.

It Ain't Easy

It ain't easy being my husband or kids. Sometimes I am the worst...I'll let you, the reader, fill in the blank. I get cranky. I get tired. I get irritated. When things are really bad, I'm all three at once. I say and do stupid things. I have definitely been known to let my pride and own wants ride rough-shod over simple acts of service and kindness. I don't intentionally lash out; instead I save my best passive aggressive actions for those moments when I want to express my displeasure. Sometimes I just really suck at being a good mom; a holy Christian woman.

Each family member handles my disappointing behavior in a different way. One patiently waits for me to recognize my stupidity and my apology. One quietly disengages and finds other people to hang with. And one family member grabs the bull by the horns and addresses the crap head on. The person calls me out. Every.Single.Time.

Last night was such a night. I was tired. I was cranky. I was irritated that something that could have been done earlier in the day was now being done at 8:30 at night and I was being asked to go. All I really wanted to do was get in my PJ's, decompress (do nothing) for the next hour and a half before I went to bed. Instead I got pleading and begging to go on the errand. I got "You really should go" about 10 different times. I felt guilted into going out and in true passive aggressive fashion I took it out on the one who I felt was doing the guilting.

The one family member that I can always count on to call my BS, did not disappoint. I got to think about my actions for the entirety of the errand. When I returned, I apologized. I recognized that my actions were indeed "dumb". I thanked the family member for calling me out.

This morning I told this family member that no one likes to be called out for their crappy behavior; nevertheless I truly appreciated the feedback. When that happens, I am forced to pause, take accounting of my words and actions and try to be a better person. I expressed my love for them and my gratitude to them for making me be a better person.

Now...if I could just do better so I don't have to be called out. Sounds so simple. It should be easy. Some days (if I'm honest, I think most days), it is easy and I am a kind, caring mom. But some days, it ain't and I'm not.

What's Your Normal?

Time: Thursday afternoon around 3:45 p.m.

Setting: Family room where Carson, Katelyn and I are watching ESPN

Carson is nodding off while watching the show. Before he goes all the way under I ask what time he would like me to wake him up. He mumbles back that he would like to be up around 4:30 p.m.

Next thing you know he is out like a light. Actually more like comatose. Cutting weight is no fun for him and he had been cutting all day so his sleep was deep and heavy. He is sleeping on the cuddle chair and I'm sitting in a chair behind him.

At 4:30 I gently start calling his name. There is absolutely no response. Not even a mumble or groan. I try one more time with just saying his name and telling him it is time to wake up. No response; just deep, heavy breathing indicating that Carson is still deep in slumber.

Now a couple of minutes have gone by so I get up from the chair and go over to where my boy is sleeping. I gently brush the hair off of his forehead and say "Carson. Carson. It's 4:30 and time to get up."

Holy cow! I wakened a beast. His eyes open with a crazy look and he yells "Can't you wake me up like a normal person?!" Oh, the joys of living with a wrestler who is cutting weight.


Time: Friday morning around 7 a.m.

Setting: Carson's bedroom.

Note: I'm not sure at what point in time it became routine for me to wake Carson up for school. He has an alarm clock, but he prefers that I wake him up. So I do.

Back to Friday morning:
I usually just wake Carson up by opening up the door and saying "Good morning. It's time to wake up." But yesterday I was feeling a little silly and spunky so I woke him up by singing some made up lyrics to the tune of the Monkees theme song "Hey, Hey We're the Monkees"

Hey, hey it's Friday.

It's time to wake up.

You've been busy dreamin'

Now it's time to go.

 

So after Thusday's "Can't you wake me up like a normal person", I wasn't sure how he would respond to yesterday's wake up. Would that wake-up call be considered more normal?

 

He just said "Good morning, Mom. I'm up."

 

 

I guess that silly wake-up songs are what he defines as normal. For some reason, that makes me smile.

Back in Business

Somehow we managed to bust the charging cord for the laptop. I have no idea how that happens, but it did and it took down the laptop. And getting a new cord was sort of a priority, but because it wasn't a definite priority, it was easy to put off getting a new cord.

Then winter break was over and Carson went back to school. And guess what! The need for a working laptop became a top priority. So off to Best Buy I went on Monday to replace the charger. I took the old charger with me and had a blue-shirted guy in the computer section offer advice on which cord to buy. Yeah, that didn't work out so well. Not one of the 7 tips included with the charger worked on our laptop. Of course it was too late on Monday to return the cord & look for another.

Last night Dave and I returned to Best Buy. This time we brought not only the broken charger, but also the laptop. We sat on the floor of Best Buy in the aisle were the charging units are sold and opened every single option, trying each one. Fortunately we were able to find one that worked!

I did mention Dave went with me on the second trip, right? Well, I think Best Buy is like Costco for Dave--he is prone to impulse purchases at both establishments. So last night we came home with not only a charger for a laptop but a sweet wireless printer.

So what will be the first project for the newly re-charged laptop and sweet wireless printer? Putting together Carson's senior portfolio. Wish us luck.