4:1 and Generous Thoughts

As I embarked on this year of living generously, I knew that the first place I wanted to start was my thoughts. I made a riff off of the scripture in Matthew "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Matthew 6:21). I wanted me thoughts and the feelings of my heart to be congruent. I wanted "for where my thoughts are,there will my heart be also".

This took a bit of work. I tried hard to follow the advice from Camilla Kimball, but first I had to allow generous thoughts to bubble up to the surface. As I've shared, my typical reaction is a glass half-empty response. Overcoming that first, natural reaction was (and is) a challenge. But I was determined to learn to be generous in my thinking.

One tactic I employed was to state 4 positives for every negative thought/reaction, a 4:1 ratio. I originally started with a 10:1 ratio, but that was a bit too aggressive for me so I backed off because I was getting frustrated and down on myself with the whole thing. What I learned, though, was that as I began to state positives first, the more positives I saw. Yay!

Another lesson learned...in angry confrontations, when I try to be generous in my thinking, I can often see past the angry words. This has allowed me to have deeper conversations with better resolutions to problems. And as a result, often the relationship is strengthened because I have tried to be generous.

This year is going to be great!

A Year for Giving and Growing

Generosity must be fearless,

 

because to give freely,

 

is a mighty vulnerable thing

 

 

 

I don't know who to attribute that quote to other than give a shout-out to Pinterest.

 

This idea that "generosity must be fearless" resonated with me

I thought it was a confirmation that I had picked the right focus word.

And then I read

"Because to give freely, is a might vulnerable thing."

 

I consider myself to be pretty fearless.

I don't particularly enjoy activities that might lead to say...

a shark encounter

careening down a mountain

potential death

But I will usually participate if it doesn't appear that death is imminent.

 

But I really don't like activities that leave me feeling not in control.

It is harder for me to participate in things where I cannot be in control.

I think that is what makes me uncomfortable with the second half of the quote.

I can give freely

But I have absolutely no control over how the gift is received.

That leaves me open to two of my biggest fears...

rejection

ridicule

 

But I am going to move forward

Dauntless in my efforts to be

Generous

and

Give freely

 

I will choose the positive

2016's Focus Word Is...

According to Facebook it should be

Happiness

But I am choosing

Generous

I chose generous as a way to hold myself accountable to a commitment I made to  myself as we were working to pay off the house. That commitment was to give more, be more generous, once our house was paid off. Well, we sent in the final mortgage payment in September and now I really need to be intentional about giving more.

So that was the original reason I decided to have generous as my focus word, but as I started thinking/planning on how to implement generous behavior I realized that there were other ways besides monetary donations that I needed to be more generous.

I need to be more generous in my judgments of others. I'm doing better at this, but there is always room for improvement. I can still do better in giving the benefit of the doubt to others. I can be more generous in recognizing other's efforts in doing the best they can.

In line with being more generous in my judgments is being more generous with extending forgiveness. I think I'm pretty good at extending forgiveness, but that's only if the person apologizes. I know it is petty and unproductive to hold a grudge, but I do if I feel like I have been wronged and the offending party doesn't apologize. This next year I'm going to focus on being generous with forgiveness and moving past previous hurts, insults, and wrongs.

Generous in my judgments and generous in forgiveness...to do both I will need to be more generous in accessing the Atonement and applying it in my life. In a talk from Elder Klebingat, he states, "Because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very practical, you should apply it generously 24/7, for it never runs out." As I reach for Christ and apply his Atonement, He will extend His grace to me. Grace is God's enabling power, a power that will help me overcome my weaknesses of harsh judgments and grudge-holding.

As I was studying about generosity, I stumbled across a devotional address given at BYU by an economist, Arthur Brooks. He was discussing the topic of giving and why it matters. I learned many things from reading this speech, but my take-away lesson was that being generous begets happiness.

So what do you know...

Facebook was right after all!

Looking forward to a generous, prosperous, HAPPY new year.