Snuggle Up a Little Closer

Tuesday the wind blew harder than I have ever seen.

Trees were uprooted.

Power lines and substations were knocked out.

I was even hit on the head by a small pinecone missile as I walked across the parking lot.

I am always in awe of the damage that acts of nature can inflict.

 

We were left to languish in the dark for 48 hours.

Worse things could have happened.

We could have lost a fence

But we didn't.

We could have lost much of our roof.

We lost six shingles.

We could have had been left completely without heat and water.

But we have a gas fireplace and water heater.

We could have been hungry.

But we had food in the cupboard

And we had the means to eat out as well.

 

We were blessed and watched over.

During this time, we snuggled together

as a family

under a huge pile of blankets

in front of the fireplace.

 

As I see reports from across our city, my heart is filled

with gratitude and a desire to do more.

 

And as I watch the world news, I want to snuggle may family

just a little bit more and hold them a little closer.



A Glimpse of Understanding

Last night as I laid my head down on my pillow, my mind was still swirling with thoughts of the day. Swirl, swirl, swirl until the thoughts all melded together. I tried to sort them out and eventually the thought "I'm tired. I really, really tired" flitted its way out of the mix of all the other thoughts. As I focused on that I gained a moment of understanding for something that often is hard to understand--suicide.

When someone commits suicide it is a natural for those left behind to try and understand. We look for signs that we might have missed. What could we have done to prevent this final choice? Were they depressed? Lonely? Bullied? Sad? But often we do not ask "Were they tired? Tired of working in a dead-end job? Tired of trying to help people who don't necessarily want to be helped? Tired of fighting the pain? Tired of trying to put on a happy face every day? Tired of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps? Tired of running into the same brick wall? Tired of dealing with whatever makes them tired?" I'm sure the list could go on and on.

Sure the person can ask for help, try to delegate, take a break, seek resources. But eventually the offers of help cease to come. Resources dry up. Taking a break usually has to come to an end and the person has to return to normal life. Returning to normal life often means resuming the same responsibilities, fighting the same fights, dealing with the same people, hitting that same brick wall that caused them to be so tired in the first place.

So last night, with my thoughts still swirling, and feeling exhausted, I understood how someone might be led to choose one final sleep. A sleep that guarantees that there would be no more fighting, no more trying to put on a happy face, no more running into a brick wall, no more pulling themselves up by the bootstraps.

I don't have a specific take home message from last night's experience. I simply wanted to share my thoughts.