Sometimes I Just Have to Say...

That I am darn proud of my kids.

Both of them have had some setbacks that have altered the paths that they originally were on. It wasn't easy for either one of them to embrace the changes. As a parent, it wasn't easy to watch each of them struggle with accepting the new path.

BUT

After the initial frustration, mourning, and all the other emotions that come with accepting change, these two demonstrated remarkable resiliency as they moved forward. I am so proud to be their mom and watch them grow and accept that sometimes life throws up roadblocks that force you onto a different path.

I won't embarrass them by sharing any more that what I have shared. I just want them both to know that I am proud of them.

Christmas Letter 2015

We got the Christmas cards out today. At first there wasn't going to be a Christmas letter. But for some reason, that was a tradition that I just couldn't let go.

If we missed sending you a letter this year, I apologize. Send us your address and I'll make sure to get you on our list for next year.

Trying so hard to make sure Dave's hair is just right

These are the pictures we included on our Christmas letter.

Yeah, getting a good selfie with this crew is a challenge

Finally, a picture that will work!

And now, for the Christmas letter...

Merry Christmas 2015!

We hope all is well with you and yours. This year was a “shake-up” year for our family.

David decided that he wanted to spend more time pursuing his passion of fishing and hunting. He convinced Heather that this would be doable because he would work as a guide. It was hard work and he discovered that he didn’t get to do as much fishing and hunting as he wanted because customers expect you to get their rods ready, help them find the right spot to throw the fly, carefully stalk the wild game, etc.

Heather had an almost- change in employment. For years (ever since her trip to San Antonio), she has talked about opening her own BBQ rib joint. She wasn’t quite ready to go all-in so she decided to do things on a smaller scale, opting to do private parties. Next year she’s thinking about maybe trying to go a bit bigger and operate a food truck at local farmer’s markets and maybe even Pig Out in the Park.

Katelyn returned home from her mission at the end of August. She was looking forward to heading back down to BYU-I, but she just couldn’t let go of the dream of an internship with Disney. Unfortunately, she missed the application deadline for that so decided to take the plunge and try her hand at acting in the big city.

Carson is the one who had the least amount of change. He finished up his wrestling career with North Idaho College and continues his studies there. In his spare time, he has decided to train for the UFC. He is hoping to get some local fights on his schedule.

Ok, just kidding. It wasn’t really a “shake-up” year for us. Matter of fact, it’s just us doing what we always do.

Dave continues to love hunting and fishing. He would never be a hunting/fishing guide. It would kill him to have to share his favorite, secret spots with clients. He also continues to work at Advanced Input systems as a project manager.

Heather really does dream of opening a BBQ joint, but Dave isn’t on board with the idea. He says, “You don’t cook for me. Why should you go cook for other people?” Heather’s response is, “You would be guaranteed a home-cooked meal every night. It just wouldn’t be at home.” In the meantime, she continues to run, work as a school nurse, serve on the planning commission for our city, and NOT cook for David (at least not nightly, but usually on Sunday and two other weeknights.)

Katelyn hasn’t ruled out the Disney internship, but until she can apply for that, she has enrolled in Spokane Community College and hopes to be accepted into the x-ray technology program. Sadly, BYU-I did not offer an x-ray technology program.

Carson did finish up his wrestling career at NIC, but UFC is NOT in his future. Carson hasn’t quite finished up his studies at NIC, hopefully this spring. Then it will be on to university to get a bachelor’s degree in…?

You Pick the Title for this Post

• Two-income family, middle-class problems
• Mean mom
• Public transit fail

Two-income,middle-class problems

We have been a two-income, middle-class family pretty much since the kids were in early elementary school. Dave and I did our best not to flaunt our money, or even really let the kids know how much we made. What we emphasized was hard work, carefully examining the necessity of a purchase, and then saving to pay cash for purchases. Those purchases included anything from school supplies to school clothes to cars. If we couldn't pay cash, chances are we didn't buy it. As the kids grew and wanted their own money, we encouraged them to get their own jobs. Dave and I had anticipated them eventually wanting/needing their own car to get to work. So we saved, asked each child to contribute some money, and purchased each child a car. What we missed was giving them an opportunity to learn about alternate forms of transportation, such as the public transit system. Honestly, I never thought about teaching them about riding the bus, mostly because we always had working cars and didn't need to learn about the bus.

Mean mom

We sold Katelyn's car when she was out on her mission. We told her when she returned we would help her purchase a new car. We had over a year to save and figured it wouldn't be too much of burden to fulfill this promise. Unfortunately, there was a car mishap back in May that required us to use up the funds in our car account. So Katelyn returned from her mission, got herself a job and we told her she would have to figure out the public transit system. OH. MY. HECK! That solution to the no-car problem seemed reasonable to me, but sent Katelyn into a full-blown meltdown. She pretty much freaked out because she would have to ride the bus. The HORROR!

Now, realizing that I had a "mom fail" by not teaching the kids earlier about how to ride the bus, I didn't leave her to figure it out all by herself. I helped her access the STA website and find out what route she needed to follow. We found a picture of the fare box so she knew how to pay her fare. We found out about transfer passes so she didn't pay the fare every time she transferred buses. I pointed out the bus stop so she knew where she needed to catch the bus. I tried my best to fix the earlier fail and help make this a doable experience. And then I told her that riding the bus was just going to be how it is until there were enough funds saved to purchase a car. No amount of tears and hyperventilating was going to change the fact that she would need to figure out how to ride the bus.

Public Transit Fail

So yesterday was the day. Her bus stop was right outside the middle school so I arranged my schedule so she could drive to the middle school, drop off the car, and go catch the  bus. That part of the plan went just as planned. She got to the middle school in plenty of time, made it out to the bus, and made it through her first transfer.

And then this...

The second bus was supposed to make a stop at Argonne village (a half mile from her work). She sent me a text asking if there was another bus she needed to take because this one only stopped at Argonne and Trent. I said not according to the routes. I asked her if she showed the route map to the driver. She said the driver said the only stop was a Trent and Argonne. I asked if she was on Bus 32. She said yep. I texted her back to ask the driver again. It was a no go.

BOTHER!

 I told her to get off at the Trent and Argonne stop and I would come get her. That stop was over a mile away from her job and she didn't have enough time to cover that much distance. I picked her up and got her to work just in the nick of time. As we were driving by where the bus was supposed to stop, she said that she even pulled the bell to notify the driver that she was getting off there, but the driver wouldn't stop.

I did notify STA about the driver not stopping and they wrote up the incident. Hopefully the driver will figure out the proper stops by Tuesday; that is Katelyn's next trip to work on the STA.

Good news was that today was her first time riding the bus home and it was a success! (Her dad felt bad that she had such a bad experience going to work that he picked her up from work yesterday.)

Snuggle Up a Little Closer

Tuesday the wind blew harder than I have ever seen.

Trees were uprooted.

Power lines and substations were knocked out.

I was even hit on the head by a small pinecone missile as I walked across the parking lot.

I am always in awe of the damage that acts of nature can inflict.

 

We were left to languish in the dark for 48 hours.

Worse things could have happened.

We could have lost a fence

But we didn't.

We could have lost much of our roof.

We lost six shingles.

We could have had been left completely without heat and water.

But we have a gas fireplace and water heater.

We could have been hungry.

But we had food in the cupboard

And we had the means to eat out as well.

 

We were blessed and watched over.

During this time, we snuggled together

as a family

under a huge pile of blankets

in front of the fireplace.

 

As I see reports from across our city, my heart is filled

with gratitude and a desire to do more.

 

And as I watch the world news, I want to snuggle may family

just a little bit more and hold them a little closer.



A Glimpse of Understanding

Last night as I laid my head down on my pillow, my mind was still swirling with thoughts of the day. Swirl, swirl, swirl until the thoughts all melded together. I tried to sort them out and eventually the thought "I'm tired. I really, really tired" flitted its way out of the mix of all the other thoughts. As I focused on that I gained a moment of understanding for something that often is hard to understand--suicide.

When someone commits suicide it is a natural for those left behind to try and understand. We look for signs that we might have missed. What could we have done to prevent this final choice? Were they depressed? Lonely? Bullied? Sad? But often we do not ask "Were they tired? Tired of working in a dead-end job? Tired of trying to help people who don't necessarily want to be helped? Tired of fighting the pain? Tired of trying to put on a happy face every day? Tired of pulling themselves up by their bootstraps? Tired of running into the same brick wall? Tired of dealing with whatever makes them tired?" I'm sure the list could go on and on.

Sure the person can ask for help, try to delegate, take a break, seek resources. But eventually the offers of help cease to come. Resources dry up. Taking a break usually has to come to an end and the person has to return to normal life. Returning to normal life often means resuming the same responsibilities, fighting the same fights, dealing with the same people, hitting that same brick wall that caused them to be so tired in the first place.

So last night, with my thoughts still swirling, and feeling exhausted, I understood how someone might be led to choose one final sleep. A sleep that guarantees that there would be no more fighting, no more trying to put on a happy face, no more running into a brick wall, no more pulling themselves up by the bootstraps.

I don't have a specific take home message from last night's experience. I simply wanted to share my thoughts.

A Late Night Surprise

I had a crappy, incredibly frustrating day at work. In an effort to force my OCD brain to let go and move on, because the situation at work is completely outside of my control, I'm going to blog about  Friday's late night surprise.

Last weekend was the opening of deer season. I had settled in knowing that I was a "hunting widow" for the weekend. I never do anything exciting, or even out of the ordinary, on weekends where I am by myself. So Friday night I was nestled into the couch, blanket wrapped around me, and my favorite TV shows all queued up.

As usually happens on Friday night, I was nodding off by 9 p.m. and pretty sound asleep on the couch by 10:00 p.m. I sort of woke up around 10:30, which is a good thing because about 10:35 the garage door opened up and Carson walked in.

I certainly didn't expect him home for the weekend, but it sure was nice to have him home. We pretty much just hung out. I offered to go for a hike with him, but he said that he just wanted to take it easy. I did take him to try out the new donut place in Newman Lake. He gave it rave reviews.

Now that both kids are out of the house, and visits with them are usually short, I cherish any amount of time we get to spend together. I hope that we always live close enough that the kids can drop-by and drop-in whenever they want. I also hope that they will always want to just stop by for a visit.

This Little Light of Mine

Sometime this summer a friend's statement on Facebook shook me awake. She had spent most of the summer months posting anti-religious, pro-LGBTQ, pro-Planned Parenthood articles and memes. Most of the time I would just scroll right past those things and not give it much thought. But one day, as a comment to an article she shared, she wrote:

I posted it, not because I wanted anyone to be on one side or the other...but to challenge others to look outside of either their current paradigm or the paradigm they were raised in of the world. I am an intellectually curious person, as I would hope you are too. I challenge myself to see the world from a plethora of perspectives...because I believe we owe it to ourselves, our children, and our world to keep challenging ourselves to grow and be more understanding of how others think, what they believe. There is some black and white in the world, but there is also a whole lot of gray.

There was one phrase in there that offended me more than anything, "I am an intellectually curious person". I resented the implication that some how simply because one was religious and adhered to religious values that the person was no longer intellectually curious. But the offence actually served as a wake-up call.

I had spent the previous year trying to be accepting of everyone and all lifestyles, thoughts, beliefs, etc. On the surface that doesn't sound too bad. In fact, it sounds quite advanced and progressive. The trouble is, I actually stood for nothing. As I came to this realization, the chorus to an Aaron Tippin song came to mind:

You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything 

 You've got be your own [wo]man, not a puppet on a string

I realized in that moment, in all of my trying to be understanding and accepting of all beliefs, lifestyles, etc I had not been in any way, shape, or form "intellectually curious". I had been simple and common. Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:

Jesus cautioned that Satan desires to sift us lie wheat [Luke 22:31],which means to make us common like all those around us. But Jesus taught that we who follow Him should be precious and unique, 'the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13) and the 'light of the world' to shine forth to all men (Matthew 5:14).

Yes, I was offended that my friend had implied that because I was religious I was not "intellectually curious"  but I was even angrier with myself for buying into the lie that I couldn't possibly be empathetic and loving while at the same time rejecting certain secular principles. I realized at that moment that I "needed to shake of the chains with which I was bound and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust". I needed to once again become curious and remember that "The Glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth." (D&C 93:36).

And what is light? To find the answer to that question, we need look no further than to He would said "I am the light of the World, He who follows me will not walk in darkness" (John 8:12). The Light, or Christ, is who I am to follow. He is who lights my light. He is the one who taught:

Ye are the light of the world. A city on the hill that cannot be hid. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.

So now what? Well, I will continue to ask questions. I will continue to show love and respect to all because that is what Jesus has commanded me to do. Just as He has commanded me to seek for light and truth and to share that light and truth. I will also believe in the words the scriptures have taught as well as the words of our living prophets. I will also have a willingness to believe even when I don't have a fullness of light.

 

Celebrating 25 Years of Marriage

Being married for 25 years is kind-of a big deal. Dave and I started talking about how we wanted to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary on our 24th wedding anniversary. At first, we talked a good deal about taking an amazing Mediterrean cruise with some absolutely fabulous ports of call that I was dying to see. But, we knew that our 25th wedding anniversary was going to come right on the heels of paying off our house (we also made paying off our house by our 25th wedding anniversary a goal on our 24th wedding anniversary). And when we were throwing every last penny that we had at the mortgage, there isn't any left to throw at a trip. So the cruise will have to wait--maybe for our 30th wedding anniversary.

Then we talked about spending a few days in New York City when I have to travel back to Rutgers (yes, I know that is in New Jersey) in November. But the more we thought about that, the less in love we became with that idea. I think we really just aren't "big city" people, although I loved touring Philadelphia this past summer.

Anyway, the cruise was out and so was New York. We decided that paying off the house would be a big enough celebration. And I thought the discussion on how we were going to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary was closed. But in sometime in late June or early July, Dave floated the idea of coming home from Rexburg by way of Yellowstone. I thought about it for about 2 seconds and then said that is be a fabulous idea. Then I got busy on trying to find some place to stay, not an easy task at that late date.

So, on our actual anniversary, August 24th, we went out to dinner and celebrated paying off our house; we had mailed in the check on August 20th and were officially debt free. That was the best anniversary dinner, ever!

Then a few weeks later we took Katelyn back to BYU-I in Rexburg. I had waited to long to make a hotel reservation in Rexburg for Friday night so we had to spend the night in Idaho Falls. But spending the night in Idaho Falls turned out to be a great thing. We found one of the yummiest BBQ joints I have eaten at. Seriously. The beef brisket was melt-in-your-mouth yummy. And then on Saturday morning, before we headed out to Yellowstone, we enjoyed the beautiful trail that runs along the Snake River.

We stayed in West Yellowstone in what I think was the only available lodging (believe me when I say, I exhausted all searches in trying to find a place to stay). It was a nice, thought not inexpensive, cabin at a place called Hibernation Station. There was a nice homey feel in the whole complex. And I love staying in places that are not connected to the room next door.

Yellowstone was beautiful and scenic, as always. We saw lots of buffalo. We took lots of selfies. Dave did some fishing (secretly the whole point of him suggesting the trip). We hiked some hikes we have never taken before, because previous visits have always focused on hikes that will lead to the best fishing. This visit we compromised. Saturday was my day to pick the sites to see, Sunday was Dave's pick.

Prints found along the stream bank that Dave was fishing. Fortunately, we didn't see any bears or wolves while Dave was fishing.

 

It was a little different touring without the kids. As we were walking around familiar sites and driving past sites visited in the past, we would reminisce about those visits with the kids. It was fun to remember old times, but also great to create new memories with just Dave and me. We made each other laugh a lot as we spent time together. Probably one of my favorite interactions (laughing moments) was on our drive home.

We were passing Hebgen Lake, enjoying the scenery. Dave points to a house that is tucked in the trees overlooking the lake. He says, "Isn't that the best view? Looking over the water and out to the beautiful mountains in the distance?" My response was like this, "Yes, but if there was ever a fire, your house would go up in flames in an instant. Look at how close those trees are to the house." At this point, Dave smiles, slaps the steering wheel and says, "Woman, for 25 years I've been trying to get you to see the glass half-full and you still see it half-empty." Both of us immediately started cracking up because that is such a true statement. I guess maybe by our 50th anniversary I will have figured out how to see things in a "glass half-ful" way, especially with Dave by my side.

Two weeks down, 40 to go

I don't like to wish away time,

especially since these last two weeks were the only time we have with Katelyn since her mission and before she heads down to school.

However,

as far as work goes, I am happy to put these first two weeks of the school year

to bed.

It feels like since the 17th of August I have been going at a sprint pace

to get ready for school.

I woke up in the morning and hit 0-60 in about 30 seconds

And then just stayed at that pace until I fell into bed

completely spent and exhausted.

 

This year was a little worse than normal because I was trying to get so much done

before Katelyn came home so I could spend as much time as possible with her.

I also decided that it would be a good idea to hold a vaccination clinic

right before the 1st day of school.

And, honestly, it turned out to be a huge success.

But getting that planned and organized

on top of my regular school nurse duties

was incredibly tiring.

 

We are taking Katelyn back to school tomorrow.

And on the way home, we are spending a couple of days in Yellowstone.

I'm looking forward to settling into a nice, steady pace

when I return to work next week.

August Deserves at least One Post

I short-changed blogging about July's events. I vowed that I would do better in August; yet here it is the last day of August and August has been totally neglected. I had even made a mental list of all the things I wanted to blog about for August. Some of the things were small events, like my DIY adventure with chalk paint. And there was the 45-mile bike ride that I decided would be fun to do even though it was my longest ride ever and I had only ridden 20 miles as my longest ride this year. There was also a visit from a friend who now lives in South Carolina (that may have happened in July, but because I didn't blog about it, I can't remember exactly).

But August also had some BIG events that I wanted to blog about. The top three August events were:

• we paid off our house! WE'RE DEBT FREEEEEE!!!
• we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary
• Katelyn's HOME! She returned on August 28th from her mission in Tempe

I feel sufficiently guilty for not blogging all of August, that I won't let the same thing happen in September. Look for more blogging, even if the posts are about the big August events (I just can't let those ones go with just a mention in passing).

Words That Came to Mind

The other night I was pretty irritated with a certain male member of our household (and it wasn't the male child). I was hoping for a little help with some various household chores. The laundry needed to be done and there was a large stack of dirty dishes that needed to be handwashed since the dishwasher was broken at that point in time. I asked which one he would like to do and neither one was a winning choice for him. He then settled down onto the couch to watch TV. I then asked if he would at least wash the silverware when I had finished all the other dishes. He said OK.

So I start a load of laundry and filled the sink with hot, soapy water so I could begin washing the dishes. And you can bet I was more than a bit irritated at this point in time. The irritation grew with each dish I washed. When I was down to the last few dishes I said I was almost done and his turn was coming up quickly. He sleepily mumbled that he would do them later. I said the water would be cold. He said he would add more hot water and that was the end of the conversation.

I was pretty boiling at this point. I returned to washing the few remaining dishes, muttering under my breath the whole time. Muttering about him sleeping; muttering about having to do all the housework; muttering about every perceived wrong. Somehow through all the muttering this image popped into my mind.

No, no, no. GO.AWAY. I don't want to be the good for someone else. I'm not done yet being irritated that my love language "acts of service" seems to always be overlooked. How hard would it be to show me that you finally understand my love language and show a little love by washing the silverware? Seriously. Or do some laundry? Come on. I don't want to hear you sleeping while I am doing all these things.

But the image wouldn't go away. And so I continued to wash the remaining dishes pondering that image and phrase. What would be so awful about being the "good" for him and letting him sleep? Then the dishes were done and it was time for the silverware. I made the decision to do the silverware and let him sleep. More importantly, I made the decision to let the irritation go about the whole situation. And with each piece of silverware that was washed, the irritation slowly dripped away like the suds down the drain. When all the forks, knives, spoons, serving utensils, etc were washed, I smiled a little smile as I watched the man sleep. It felt good to not be irritated.

Catch-up Post #2: Family Reunion

Over the 4th of July weekend, Dave and I travelled to Colorado to attend the R.E. Whiting family reunion. R.E. Whiting was my great-grandfather. As a child, I spent at least a week in the summer at the family ranch in Colorado. That is where my grandfather, his brothers, and my great-grandparents lived. There were always lots of cousins, aunts and uncles around. I always looked forward to our annual summer visit. My grandma's molasses cookies and homemade bread were always available and absolutely delicious. There was swimming in the creek (which actually was forbidden because the creek could be dangerous and there was never any adult supervision), riding horses, get pop from the vending machine in Uncle Don's barn. We could earn money for the vending machine by picking peas for Uncle Rod or Don (I can't remember which one had the pea field, but I do remember I only ever made enough for a pop). And even though this was my dad's family and he could rarely get the time off of work to go for a visit, my mom always made sure to get us to Colorado for at least a week every summer. That was no small feat since she was travelling with 5 children and the drive was 11 hours from Tucson (where I lived until I was 12) or the drive was 18  hours from Aberdeen (where I lived during my teen-age years). Yeah, she is pretty much a rock star for getting us there.

But after growing up, getting married, having kids and being busy with life, several years elapsed between visits. The last time I visited the ranch Katelyn was about 7 and Carson was 4. Then there was a family reunion in St. George about 8 years ago which we were able to attend. So over the last 25 years, I have visited with extended R.E. Whiting family members a total of two times. When I realized how sparse our visits had become, I made it a point to make sure to get to this family reunion to visit with my grandma, those various aunts, uncles and cousins I had known in my youth, and spend some quality time with my nieces and nephew.

Even though it was about a 17 hour drive each way, the drive was well worth the memories that were created over the course of the family reunion. We had family volleyball that didn't result in any fighting (honestly, that is a HUGE win), makeshift horseshoe pits so that the horseshoe tradition could live on, an auction with family treasures (like a map featuring the Whiting Bro. gas station, a ball cap with the Whiting Bro. gas station logo, a replica sign pointing the way to the Whiting Homestead in Arizona, a quilt tied by my grandma) and every meal together as a large, extended family. It was awesome.

Probably the memories I cherish the most of the ones with my brother's kids. Nate wasn't able to come to the reunion but he let us take 3 of his kids. Even though they were loud and crazy during the car ride, I'm so glad we were able to take them. We played on the rope swing, kayaked and canoed around the lake, took turns helping our cousin Melody with her special-needs twins. I hoped they enjoyed their time with us as much as enjoyed our time with them.

Now for a few pictures from the reunion:

A mountain bluebird that made its daily rounds around the reunion site.

Dave with Reagan and Madeleine

The girls convinced Dave to give the kayak a try. Too bad it was full of water from Friday night's rainstorm. Dave's bottom got soaked. The girls thought that was the funniest thing ever.

Travis quickly became a kayak champ and was ready for the kayaking he would be doing at scout camp the next week.

Catch-up Post #1: NASN conference

It is a rainy Saturday morning this morning so it seems like a good time to write a catch-up post as the boys are absorbed in Shark Fest on Nat Geo Wild channel.

At the end of June I was able to attend the National Association of School Nurses' annual conference in Philadelphia, PA. I went with my fellow Johnson and Johnson teammates to be presenters during one of the break-out sessions of the conference. We presented on our efforts to bring immunization clinics to schools. During the 2014/2015 school year we were able to host 10 immunization clinics in schools throughout Spokane County. The clinics were offered to children 4-18 years of age and were free of charge. Vaccines that were offered were vaccines needed for school attendance. The clinics were well received and well attended. We also shared information about a 'Clinic in a Box' toolkit that will be available on-line in October. This toolkit will outline the procedures/protocols for school nurses to follow to bring immunization clinics to their schools.

J&J team,  Cheryl Sampson, me, Dawn Epler, and Becky Droter

I learned a few things about myself while I was at the NASN conference. First, I really am not a "conference girl", meaning I did not enjoy sitting all day in a conference center listening to lectures and presentations. I tried to pick topics that sounded interesting, but even though sessions didn't really hold my attention for very long. Fortunately, we were in a city full of history and the conference center was only about a mile away from the historical hub. After I attended all I could handle of the conference on a given day, I wandered down to the historical district and absorbed all of the history that I could. I posted way too many selfies on Instragram of my touring.

 

I also learned that there are some things that really make me think of and miss Kate. One of my favorite things that I found in Philadelphia was the Once Upon a Story history benches sponsored by the National Park Service. These benches were scattered throughout the historical district and had 20-something young women as the story tellers. There was one gal who reminded me so much of Katelyn. It wasn't just that she was blonde-hair, blue-eyed, but it was also her mannerisms and voice inflection as she told the story. I visited her bench three different times just to listen to her and picture Katelyn in that role. This is kind-of embarrassing to admit, but during one story I got a little teary-eyed because I was just overwhelmed with my thoughts of Katelyn and I missed her immensely at that moment.

 

Presenting at the conference also reaffirmed my love for public speaking and presenting. My teammates expressed some anxiety and sleep disturbance the night before our presentation. I, however, slept like a baby (that might have been due to my adventure in getting to Philly) and had no butterflies or anxiety before or during our presentation.

 

Finally, I learned that conferences can be a great place to catch up with friends who live on the other side of the country. Last year when I was at the Johnson and Johnson institute, I met a gal from Alexandria, Virginia. We clicked immediately and have spent the last year exchanging occasional texts. It was fun to reconnect with her at the NASN conference.

 

She is a runner so we also got in a couple of 6 mile runs in the mornings to start our conference days off right. Of course, you can't be in Philadelphia and not take a picture with Rocky so we made sure to do this on one of our runs.

 

Next year's NASN conference is in Indianapolis. I won't be attending that one. However, the following year is in San Diego. Althea and I have already made plans to meet again in San Diego.

 

Flying home we were chasing the sun as it went down. I was able to capture a few sunset pictures over Denver to help feed my sunset obsession.



Fathers Are So Special

Yesterday was Father's Day.

It was also the first Father's Day for my dear friend without her father on earth.

My heart hurt for her as I saw all of the Facebook posts about awesome daddy's.

I can't imagine how hard yesterday must have been for her and her mom.

I know I would certainly have a difficult time on Father's Day

if I didn't have these awesome fathers on the earth.

I have learned wonderful and great lessons from each of them.

 

 

 

This is my father-in-law, Rich. I have known him for more than half of my life. He has taught me how to slalom water-ski. Entwined within those slalom lessons were great demonstrations of patience, encouragement, and perseverance (he was willing to continue to drive the boat long after I was ready to give up). He has also taught me how to not take myself too seriously as I watched his example of goofiness. He and my mother-in-law raised a wonderful son who I am honored to call my husband.

This is my dad, Craig. I have to be honest and say that during my growing up years, we had some major bumps in the road. Until my junior year, I wasn't sure how committed he was to being a dad. His job kept him very busy and away from the family. And then when he did re-commit himself to our family and being a dad, I wasn't sure I wanted or needed him. It was rough. But, he did teach me many things. He taught me to be strong and independent. He sparked a love of travel in me. Because of him, I am a connoisseur of cheese and other fine food. However, the most important thing I learned from my dad is that the grace of God is very real; that Christ's atonement and its redemptive power can absolutely change the heart. It was a hard, but beautiful and important lesson. I am so grateful that he is my dad.



This is my man.

He has given me two beautiful children and a wonderful life.

I have learned many things from him.

He helped me develop a love of being fit.



He taught me that there is never a problem that can't be solved.

He taught me that a problem to be solved, should never be more important than a person to love.

He has shown me the meaning of absolute love and devotion.

He has helped me learn how to not be a yeller (although I'm still a loud talker).

He calms my crazy and builds me up.

The list could go on and on.

I certainly hit the jackpot all those years ago

when I sat down next to him on the tailgate of a pick-up truck

at the drive-in theatre.

My New "Love"

I wasn't going to buy a car, let alone a new car, so soon, but David insisted that I get it taken care of as soon as possible. Matter of fact, he refused to consider paying off the house until I had purchased another car. I knew he was serious, so I got serious about looking.

I swear, buying cars these days is so much better than it used to be when you had to sit at the dealership for hours on end negotiating and waiting and negotiating and waiting. I hated that so much, even though David was the one who always handled the negotiating. But with the internet, you can do all of the negotiating via e-mail. It's awesome.

So, first I decided that Subaru had proved their reliability and safety so I was going to stick with Subaru. Then I did some searching through autotrader.com, kbb.com, and cargurus.com to see what kind of inventory was within a 500 mile radius of where I live. I sent out some e-mail inquiries to the dealerships that had cars that cargurus had identified as "hot buys". Then I waited for the responses.

While I was waiting, I went to the local Subaru dealership to drive a couple of different Subaru models that I was interested in. Carson really wanted me to look at the Impreza and David wanted me to stick with the Legacy. And I wanted to check out the Crosstrek. While the Impreza and Crosstrek were fun to drive and were more "dog-friendly", neither one had a power seat that could be adjusted up and down. Their seats do go up and down, but you have to manually jack them up or down and since there is a big discrepancy between where I have to have the seat and where the rest of the drivers in our family need the seat, the lack of a power seat was a dealer breaker. So I was back to the Legacy.

Initially I had inquired regarding used cars, but the inventory was low. And because of the law of supply and demand, low inventory means little to no negotiation on prices. That was frustrating. I tried everything to get people to move, but they were pretty set on the listed price. There was a small glimmer of hope for buying a used car when I found two dealers who had service vehicle loaners that had just rotated out of their fleet that were available for purchase. Unfortunately, by this time I had broken Dave Ramsey's number one rule (don't drive cars outside of your price range) and had fallen in love with a new 2015 Subaru Legacy 2.5i Limited.

So knowing that I was out of my price range, I had to negotiate hard. I found a dealer in Lewiston, ID who had what I wanted with all of the bells and whistles and so I pitted them against the local dealership where I had test driven the car. Kendall Subaru in Lewiston was hungry for my business and would have done just about anything to get my business, unfortunately, they couldn't speed up delivery of the car and that was the deal breaker. I wound up going with the local dealership; however, if I wasn't in a time crunch for a car, I would have gone with Kendall. They were that great to work with. And I anticipate that our next purchase (whenever that may be), will be with them.

The silver lining with Kendall's eagerness to have my business, is that I was able to get the local dealership way below where they wanted to be because they were desperate to beat Kendall. I got the car for below invoice price and had $500 worth of options added at no charge. I felt pretty great about successfully negotiating this deal all on my own.

And I am in love with my new Subaru.

Good-bye "Love" Car

Subaru's motto is "Love is what makes a Subaru a Subaru" and I have loved my Subaru. It was a comfortable ride, nice amenities, great gas mileage, and safe.

From the scene of the accident

That is the result of someone going 50 mph, and while checking his GPS, driving into the back of a cement truck that was turning off of the highway. Amazingly, he walked away from that accident with only minor injuries. He is a little stiff and sore. His nose is bruised from the airbag hitting him. He has an abrasion from the seatbelt and minor cuts on his fingers from glass. His knees are bruised from the steering column being pushed up into his lap. Other than that, Carson was injury-free. Someone will say lucky; I say he was blessed and had some guardian angels watching over him.

We are grateful that we are only replacing a car and not paying for a funeral. He was on his way to LeGrande, OR to watch his girlfriend graduate. She was initially very mad at him (probably more worry masked as anger than actual anger), but she, too, is very grateful that he was OK. And we are both grateful that the accident occurred in LeGrande so that he was close to someone who could help him. We did have to drive down to LeGrande yesterday to go get him, but enough time had elapsed from the accident that I wasn't even irritated about the 9 hour drive. I was just relieved that we were going down to get a living boy.

As we talked about the accident on the way home, Carson said how angry he was with himself. He recognized that he shouldn't have let the phone (GPS) be a distraction. This was his Instagram post:

Dave asked if I would let him drive back down to LeGrande again. Well, first we have to replace my car. That may take awhile since the last time I was shopping for a car it took me 2 years to find something I liked. Also, I hate pressure shopping so I'm going to take my time. I just might take until the end of the summer. By then, Avery will be up here for school at NIC and I won't have to worry about the drive to LeGrande. But in answer to Dave's question, yes, I would let him go down again. If you fall off the horse, you have to get back on it. You just learn from your mistakes and become more wise.

PS I'm pretty sure I will get another Subaru. It has proven to be a reliable, safe car brand.

Stitch Fix

I have never been a girly girl. Lace and frills have never appealed to me. And if being a girly girl means you have to enjoy shopping, especially clothes shopping, well then that just reinforces that I am not a girly girl. I HATE shopping, particularly clothes shopping (although I will make an exception for workout wear). I'm sure I am not the only woman who hates shopping for clothes. And I'm equally sure there are a variety of reasons for the loathing of clothing, but here are a couple of my reasons.

First, I'm five foot nothin' and shop in the petites department. Have you ever wandered through the petites department of any store? Actually, you are lucky if you can find a petites department. But let's just say you stumble across one. You know what you'll find in that department? Old lady clothes! I think the buyers must only believe that no one is little until they are old or no one shops in the petites department until they are old enough to qualify for a senior discount at other establishments. Lest you think that this is a regional thing, last summer when I was in New York I checked out the petites department in Macy's. Certainly they would have something trendy, hip and fashionable. Nope. Old lady clothes, polyester at its finest no less. Blech! OK, there are a few trendy things and they always seem to carry Ralph Lauren, but hello, can you say expensive! Expense is also what keeps me out of Nordstrom.

But what about Nordstrom Rack or other clothing retail establishments that might be less expensive? Well, I'm glad you asked because that brings me to my second point. They don't carry petites. So what, buy what you like and have it altered. Yeah right, cheapskate me pay even more money to have something altered? No way. Not going to happen. Well do the alterations yourself. Oh boy. That won't work either as I avoid hemming and sewing. Mostly because I suck at those things, but also because I'm lazy. Getting out a needle and thread, trying to find someone to pin the cuff for me, watching YouTube videos to make sure I'm doing it right, is all just too much bother for me.

And my third and final reason I hate shopping...because I hate trying on clothes in the store because I know they are all going to look horrible. I swear when I look in a dressing room mirror it is like looking in a fun house mirror. So I often buy things, take them home, try them on and then return them. I'm also not super confident in putting together outfits. So again, buy what I think I might like, take them home, try them on, and then return them. That's my process. I can't say that it works out very well for me.

So I'm trying something new. I'm giving Stitch Fix a try. It is an online shopping service that sends you 5 clothing items as often as every month or as infrequently as every 3 months. Basically you pick how often you want a shipment. They have a pretty in-depth survey to fill out so the stylists can get an idea of what your likes/dislikes are. Then when your 5 items arrive, you try them on, keep what you like and send back the rest. When you send the items back, there is an on-line survey to complete so you can offer feedback about the returned items. I figured since I never try on clothes before I purchase them AND I get someone do pick outfits for me, what do I have to lose? Is it pricey you ask? I would say it is about on par with prices you would find at Macy's. The only bummer is that there are never any sale prices (and confession time, I generally shop the clearance racks. Hmm, maybe that's why I only seem to find old lady clothes). So anyway, I'm giving it a trial run. I received my first shipment on Saturday. It had a pair of black and white pants which I returned because the print was way too loud for me. A black silk blouse that was too low cut at the neckline, too deep armholes, and was see through; that went back as well. I kept a green striped dress even though I thought it was a little too form-fitting; Dave said it looked awesome which was the deciding factor in keeping it. I also kept a turquoise dolman sleeved t-shirt, again not necessarily my taste, but I'm trying to branch out. The last item was a fabulous silver bauble necklace which I absolutely loved. My next shipment is due the end of July. Stay tuned.

Mother's Day

This Mother's Day had a different feeling to it. I'm sure it had to everything to do with the fact that both of the kids are out of the house and it was just me and Dave on Mother's Day morning. I was a little more bothered by that then I expected to be. That's probably why I was a bit short with Dave when I was making breakfast on Mother's Day morning. I wasn't grumpy about having to make breakfast, but when  he pulled the cereal out of the cupboard before my breakfast was even in the oven, I may have expressed some displeasure about that. I didn't expect him to eat the baked oatmeal  I had made, but it would have been nice if he would at least have waited to eat with me. After I stated as much, he put the cereal back in the cupboard, waited the 45 minutes for the oatmeal to bake, and then enjoyed endured eating Chunky Monkey Baked Oatmeal with me. He really is the best.

As I was getting ready for church, I heard someone rummaging around in the house. I thought it was Dave until I heard the lawnmower start outside and I knew that was Dave. So as soon as I could, I peeked my head out my bedroom door and discovered that Carson had come home to go to church with me. I wasn't  expecting him until dinnertime so seeing him early was so nice.

Church was OK. Fortunately no talks placing mothers on some incredibly high pedestal. I really detest those talks.

We had my folks over for dinner.  It was nice to have them over. Even the dysfunctional BBQ couldn't damper the nice visit. It was a bummer to not be able to BBQ the steaks, but pan-frying and a moment under the broiler worked out just fine. "Papa's perfect potato salad" and a broccoli salad were perfect side dishes. I had made a chocolate cheesecake, which turned out decadent and fabulous.

We finished the night with a Skype call from Katelyn. It was full of technical glitches and I couldn't ever get the computer to take a screenshot, but those weren't really any big deal. It was so great to see her face and hear her voice. I think I missed her a bit more this Mother's Day than last; however, her time in Arizona is almost complete and she'll be home before we know it. She has had a good mission and has matured quite a bit. Things are looking good.

Overall, Mother's Day 2015 was a good one. It was different and a precursor to future Mother's Days where I won't always get to be with my children. I think it was a nice toe dip into that future reality. I love my kids. I grateful for the efforts (within their ability) they made to make my Mother's Day a good one.

Quip from Carson

Carson was instructed that he would need to find a job for this summer. Last summer's "job" of boat-building, while a great memory-builder as he learned to build the boats alongside his Grandpa Graham and enjoyed eating yummy lunches made by his Grandma Graham, just didn't do much to pay the bills. Those beautiful boats (a kayak and canoe) are still in our possession.

 

So this year, the job needed to be one that would result in cold-hard cash every two weeks. His first offer of employment was at a warehouse pulling frozen food orders.  He came home from the interview in a decidedly bad mood. I was a bit surprised by this attitude since it was his only job offer and it paid great money. In Carson's mind, there was no amount of money that would make working 50 hours/week in a freezer all summer long worth it. Oh, and there was this reason as well...

 

-"Ma, look at me. I'm too good-lookin' to work in a freezer all summer long."



Baked Oatmeal: My New Food Obsession

I'm not a huge fan of gloppy, sticky oatmeal. It looks yucky and without out enough brown sugar to top it off, it tastes pretty yucky, too. So I was never in a big rush to try the baked oatmeal that my friend always raved about. I think I probably scrunched up my nose in disdain as she described how her family of 6 boys gobbled it up every time she cooked it for breakfast.

But when her dad passed away recently, and I was thinking of ways that I could help out, I settled on making them their favorite breakfast for the day of the funeral. And since I had extra of all the ingredients needed, I decided to make one for me too (I was pretty sure the boys wouldn't be brave enough to try it. And I was right with the first batch).

Oh my goodness! My friend was right. Baked oatmeal is delicious. I have no idea of what I was afraid of and why I waited so long to give it a try. My first batch was a banana chocolate chip recipe found on budgetbytes.com. Since that first batch I have made an apple walnut baked oatmeal, a peanut butter banana chocolate chip baked oatmeal, and in the oven this morning, is a strawberry banana chocolate chip baked oatmeal. The house smells so yummy while the oatmeal is baking!

So if you have an aversion to gloppy, sticky, stove-top oatmeal, I suggest you give baked oatmeal a try. Because it is baked and contains eggs, it takes on more a bread-like texture. The lady at budgetbytes describes it as custard-like, but I think it is more bread pudding-like if anything. Anyway, it takes only a few minutes to prepare and about 45 minutes to cook. My friend says that you can prepare it the night before and cook it in the oven the next morning. I haven't tried this way yet, but I can see it as a great option for Christmas morning.

I'm sure a quick Google or Pinterest search will yield a plethora of baked oatmeal recipes. I used budgetbytes because that was the recipe that my friend really liked. The fun thing about budgebytes is that it breaks out cost/serving, so if you are budget conscious and a numbers person, you might enjoy using this website.

Happy cooking.

School Nursing Can Be...

A. Mundane and routine
B. Challenging and limit testing
C. Frustrating and aggravating
D. Humorous
E. All of the above

A. Mundane and routine: Yep, school nursing can be both of these things. Day in and day out there are a lot of band-aids and ice packs that get distributed for the typical scrapes, bumps and owies that children suffer. There is also a lot of temperature checking and re-assuring and shooing back to class, day in and day out.

B. Challenging and limit testing: But on occasion there are situations that come up that challenge my assessment skills and decision making. In the past few weeks I have had to call 9-1-1.

First was an elementary boy who has a cardiac history of SVT (supraventricular tachycardia). When I was called to assess him his heart rate was 115. He was complaining of crushing chest pain. He had already been quietly resting for 15 minutes with no relief. I have at my disposal a stethoscope, a blood pressure cuff and a pulse oximeter. That's it. Those are all of the fancy tools I get to care for kiddos in school. So a thorough assessment becomes very important. In this case, the boy's color was good but he was uncomfortable. He kept saying how much his chest hurt. And then he develops this weird cough, which he describes as feeling a tickle in his throat. Not knowing this kiddo (did I  mention he is a student at a school I am not assigned to? I just happened to be the nurse on-call for that school) and with his parents unreachable (unreachable parents are a HUGE frustration factor when facing these kinds of situations), the decision to call 9-1-1 was made. The paramedics came, hooked him up to all of their fancy machines, saw that his heart rate with a sinus dysrhythmia, still couldn't reach a parent or emergency contact, and loaded him into an ambulance to take him to the hospital for further evaluation.

The second 9-1-1 call was for a middle school student who reported to the health room with a blood pressure of 194/138. That's not good. I had her rest and rechecked her blood pressure after 15 minutes. While waiting for the 15 minutes to pass, I tried to reach the parent. The student tried multiple times to reach the parent. The assistant principal tried several times to reach the parent. NO PARENT AVAILABLE. UGH! 15 minutes later and the student's blood pressure is now 140/100. Now she is complaining of impaired vision, dizziness and tingly. OK. 9-1-1 to come do a further assessment because remember all I have is a blood pressure cuff, a stethoscope, and a pulse oximeter. Again the paramedics come, hook the student up to all of their fancy tools, discover she has significant orthostatic changes in BP, and load her onto a gurney to take her to the hospital.

C. Frustrating and aggravating: Besides not being able to get a hold of parents when their children are sick, there are other frustrating aspects of being a school nurse. As a school nurse I am responsible for monitoring immunization compliance. I spend several hours a month reviewing records, sending out notices, making phone calls, and doing all I can to make sure that students meet the state standards for immunizations. But making phone calls and sending out notices is about all I can. It is up to administrators to enforce the law. And quite frankly, immunization compliance falls way down the list of priorities for administrators.

The sh*! only hits the fan when there is a potential of disease outbreak and the administrators discover that many children are at risk and will have to be excluded if there is an outbreak.  Then all of  the sudden it becomes a priority. This is what happened recently in a large neighboring school district. The head shed people finally decided to hold school administrators feet to the fire regarding immunization compliance and a huge effort was taken to get students caught up. The district went from having 5000 students out of compliance to 98! That is an amazing change. And do you know what else happened? Instead of praising the school nurse who is the coordinator of school health for her efforts to bring immunization clinics to schools to get those kids in compliance, the district is firing her. FIRING HER! She has become the fall guy for the negative press that surrounded the large out-of-compliance rate even though school nurses, as I previously mentioned, have absolutely no authority to enforce immunization laws. Oh I am SO MAD over this injustice.

D. Humorous: Fortunately there are enough humorous moments to compensate for the frustrations, aggravations, challenges, and mundane tasks. The humorous moments definitely help keep me going. Things such as pea gravel in ears (seen more cases of this than I ever thought I would), funny little kids and funny big kids are daily bright spots in my job. The other day an 8th grade girl came to see me. She said she had a rash on her chin. I looked at her chin and she did have lots of little dots on the underside of her chin, but it looked more like she had rubbed up against something rather than a rash. So I asked if she played softball and had slid on the ground. No. How about dancing and sliding on the floor? No. Well it looks like your chin rubbed against something and ruptured lots of little blood vessels. Oh, I did have a cup stuck there for a couple of minutes. Congratulations, you gave yourself a hickey. Spent the rest of the afternoon chuckling over that.

E All of the above: So as you can see, school nursing fits all of the above descriptors. And as difficult as B and C can be, those are things that make sure there is never a dull moment. But thank heaven they don't happen on a daily basis.

News from Kate

Sometimes we get unexpected pictures of Katelyn texted to us.

That happened last week when the Peterson's sent us a couple of pictures.

Sister Peterson with Katelyn and Sister Schoeder. And Sister Peterson's two adorable boys

After we received the pictures, I then received a text from Sister Peterson.
She had asked Katelyn to describe me.
This is how Katelyn sees me

 

 

Sister Peterson's message in yellow; my response in blue



Well, there you have it.
I'm a dragon, which apparently means I'm feisty.
I'm an elf, which apparently means I'm undersized.
I can't really argue with either description.

 

Have Courage and Be Kind

In the recent Disney remake of Cinderella, Cinderella's dying mother whispered that line "have courage and be kind" to Cinderella. I have to admit that once I heard that line I was a bit distracted through the rest of the movie as I pondered on those words.

I wondered how I was doing to reflect that line. I have often defined myself as courageous, but we saw the movie on the heels of the news breaking that over 100 Christian college students had been killed at their university in Kenya. I wondered if I had that kind of Christian courage. Sure it's easy to say that from the safety of my home in the United States of America but would I say the same if in the actual situation? Today I say "Yes".

But that isn't the only way to show Christian courage. And that led me to the next part of the phrase, "and be kind".

If you asked people who knew me in high school to describe me, I doubt that "kind" would be in the top 10 descriptor words. I would like to think that my friends I have now would use "kind" to describe me, but I honestly don't know. The problem is that I tend to still define myself by the old high-school terms.

I'm not sure why I continue to old on to this old characterization, even if it isn't accurate anymore. I guess it is kind of like continuing to run in running shoes well past their mileage. You do it because you know what to expect from them, even if it means achy knees and hips. Changing shoes might not work out, they might not feel right or fit right or they might feel just different enough you know it's going to take some time to get used to it and you are sure that you really want to take that time. The point is, the old shoes are familiar and known and the pain they cause is worth it because then you avoid all the unpleasantness of change.

And so I hold onto a familiar, known characterization even though it doesn't really work for me anymore. It gives me an excuse to fall back on if this "kind" thing doesn't work out. It provides a bit of protection and a retreat to fall back to when my awkward efforts at being kind appear to be rebuffed.

But where is the courage in retreat? And more importantly where is the Christian courage? For what I realized is that by not accepting a this new character trait, I in fact am rejecting Christ's sacrifice for me. I am rejecting the grace He is extending to me to make weak things strong.

Whew, can you see why I was so distracted during the movie? That's a lot of self-reflection. My mind and heart were still ripe for learning.

This phrase from General Conference:

God cares a lot more about who we are,

And about who we are becoming,

Than about who once were. - Dale Relund

 

and then this phrase that I heard at my friend's church on Easter Sunday:

Your story + God's story = A New Story

 

spoke right to my heart. And reinforced all that I had thought about during Cinderella.

 

Good-bye old familiar unkind self. You no longer serve any person. I am now moving forward with courage AND with kindness.