Challenges and Blessing in Trusting in the Lord.
Being on a mission has by far been the best and hardest time of my life. Each day causes stress and joy, depression and satisfaction. Sometimes being out here can be downright miserable. There's no work, no referrals, no less-actives, and no members to help. Each day you feel defeated and like a failure. You can't figure out what it is you're doing wrong. I've never prayed as hard as I have serving in Arizona than anywhere else.
I know a lot of people think that missionaries are super inclined to the spirit and are these huge spiritual giants with no problems what so ever. True we have been set apart to do the Lord's work, but we're just normal kids. The only difference between us and members is a name tag. We get discouraged, frustrated and overwhelmed. Not being able to write home and say exactly what's going on is hard. Heavenly Father is the only one we can turn to in this time of need. But there are times when we feel that are prayers aren't being heard. More frustration. But at this point something happens. We have a new found determination to find work. We plan more effectively. We get members to participate more. We get less-actives more involved with activities. And slowly, but surely, we get more work.
Before I came out on my mission I never really grasped the concept that The Lord has a plan for everyone, members and non-members alike. And because He has a individual plan for each of us; work must be done in His time until both of us are ready. In a 2005 General Conference talk Henry B Eyring said, "decisions now to exercise faith and be steady in obedience will in time produce great faith and assurance. That is the spiritual preparedness we all will need. And it will qualify us in the moments of crisis to receive The Lord's promise that 'if ye are prepared ye shall not fear'" and most of the time that is exactly the reason why there is not a lot of work. The Lord needed to prepare both the missionary and the individual. Just like we can't go to battle without a weapon, we can't try to bring someone unto Christ if their heart hasn't been opened and we haven't learned patience and found humility in our difficulties.
I've always had a great love for my Savior, but until I left for my mission in Tempe, Arizona, I've never felt Him so close and relied on His atonement so much. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lives and it is because of Him all things are possible. I love being able to talk about Him and bring others closer to Him every day. The knowledge that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us brings me so much joy and comfort. I don't know what I would would be like if I didn't have this gospel in my life, but I know for a fact that I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I've learned for myself that if we rely on The Lord and pray to Him every time we're in need, He WILL help us. When we put our full trust in Him and rely on Him 100% He will never let us down.
As I've allowed myself to trust in The Lord I have been able to witness how much He trusts me and how much He is able to soften the hearts of the people around me. The most incredible transformation I've seen on my mission was a man named David*. David wasn't a member but had gone to church for 15 years! He paid his tithing and even had a calling in scouts, but there was a time when he questioned if God even existed. Then randomly one night my companion and I get a call from our bishop asking if we would be able to do a baptism the next day. To our surprise we found out it was David. We quickly got permission from our mission president and set up the baptism for the next day. Unfortunately, when it came time for the interview, he didn't even make it through the first question without throwing a chair across the room. My district leader said he wasn't ready and that the baptism wasn't going to happen today. Boy was everyone mad! Here was a man who had come to church for 15 years, then all of a sudden wanted to get baptized and it wasn't going to happen. So the bishop set a temporary date for the following Saturday and my companion and I would teach him every day that week.
When Sister Davies and I went to our first lesson with him, we were terrified! David had been so rude to us before and slammed the door in our face many times before. We didn't believe he was being baptized for the right reason. That is, until we started teaching him.
Turns out David never had the missionary discussion. When people asked him if he'd had the lessons, he thought 'lessons' meant Sunday School, so he was like, "yeah I've had 15 years worth of them." After our first lesson with David we could see that he was, indeed, different than how he had been before. He had a different kind of light about him and he actually had interest in what we had to say. Witnessing The Lord work on this man's heart was the greatest sight I have ever witnessed! As each day passed we could see him carry himself differently and by the end of the week he already looked like a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This transformation that I had the privilege to watch was the best part of my mission thus far. David was baptized that Saturday, received the priesthood on Sunday, and baptized his daughter later that very day. I can't tell you how touching it was to watch a man, who a few months previous question if God existed, baptize his daughter.
Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways and in His own time. He worked with David for 15 years, and had David been baptized anytime before then, I don't know if he'd be as strong of a member as he is now. Putting our trust in Heavenly Father can be very difficult and challenging. Sometimes it can take years before our prayers are answered! But The Lord has a plan for each and every one of His children. It's when we allow ourselves to trust in Him and let His plan commence that miracles happen. So please. Trust your Father in Heaven and never for one moment think that He has forgotten you. I can testify to you that He hasn't. His plan for you has already begun. Be patient and trust Him and you'll see the wonderful things He has in store for you.
~Sister Katelyn Graham
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