Monday, June 30, 2014

Sayonara, June. I Think You are a Miserable Month

Oh June, you hold so much promise. It seems that every year we end May desperately looking forward  towards June. And why shouldn't we? After all, June, you do usher in longer days and the start of summer vacation. The world in our neck of the woods really starts buzzing in June. BUT! You are such.a.tease!

Your longer days are necessarily warmer days. Matter of fact your weather tends to be a bit schizophrenic. This year the first week of June was beautiful and warm and all was well. Then, the last week of school you decided to cramp our field day plans by providing cooler, wetter weather. Matter of fact, our monthly rain total for June was a little over .25 inches more than the average. That damp, dreary weather is such a let down after we muddled through the cold and gray winter and early spring.

And then on the days that are nice, when the sun is shining, when it should be a joy to be outside enjoying the fresh air, it is complete misery. For you see, dear June, you also bring a huge spike in the pollen count. May is manageable with only the tree pollen being in the "high" range. But then you come along and add grasses to the mix. So we have high tree pollen and high grass pollen. It is a double whammy that leaves me feeling like I live in a haze of stuffiness.

My nose itches so bad and I rub it so hard and often that I look like a red-nosed wino. And you know my eyes are blood shot, which does nothing to improve my appearance. And there is no denying the itchiness. I spend my evenings with ice packs on my eyes in attempt to relieve the irritation and swelling. Then, there is the congestion that makes running a chore as I try to breathe through the phlegm and mucous.

Oh how I wish I could find an allergy medicine that worked. I think I've tried them all. I don't seem to have much success with any of them. So I resign myself to being miserable for the month of June. I figure I can suck it up for a month.

And there was some good news on the 5 o'clock news tonight. The tree and grass pollen are now both registering low. So bring on July...the heat, the fireworks, the heart of summer. That is my reward for making it through June.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Another Weird Dream

Urban myth says that drinking apple juice prior to bed can make vivid, strange dreams. I don't know about that since I hate apple juice, but it seems that for me, eating frozen dairy products after 8 p.m. causes me to have strange dreams. Wednesday night I had frozen yogurt and a strange dream in the early hours of Thursday morning. Last night I had a mini Blizzard and then another strange dream in this morning's early hours. I think I better lay off the frozen concoctions after 8 p.m.

Anyway, the dream...

This time I am at home and all of the sudden appears in my home a woman that I don't even know, but I really enjoy reading her blog. She is driving back to Utah from California via Seattle and Spokane. She said she had family in Seattle she wanted to visit and then decided Spokane would be a good overnight spot. When I asked if she was planning on staying at my house, she said she was hoping that I would offer. So there I am, with my house in the usual state of disarray (clothes that need to folded, dishes stacked on the counter, bathrooms that could use some cleaning, etc), trying to figure out where I am going to have Nor and her 3 children sleep. And even though I should be stressed out about unexpected guests, I find myself a bit elated to have Nor spending the night at my house. Her little girl somehow manages to find stashes of candy and every time I turn around she has more candy. Her boys think our backyard is a forest adventure and they somehow get lost in the bushes on the side of the house. Aside from the initial invitation to spend the night, I don't really remember talking much with Nor, which is terribly disappointing because I think she is a fascinating woman (at least that is the persona I think she portrays on her blog).

The next thing I know we are all battling this evil guy who is trying to link everyone with, what appears to be, giant jumper cables. Katelyn makes a brief appearance at this point, but it is to only ask about her clothes and where they all went. Nor's little kids think fighting the bad guy is the best part of their trip and are only disappointed when we defeat the bad guy because they know that the bad guy's defeat means their trip is done.

And at that point I woke up to a very raucous thunderstorm roaring outside my bedroom window.

Friday, June 27, 2014

What I Learned Today

I went to the temple today. My mind was swirling with different thoughts; thoughts about the recent press coverage of the Ordain Women movement and the subsequent excommunication of the movement's founder; thoughts about the different commentary and blog posts that I have read recently about OW; thoughts about my own limited understanding of eternal things and how we all see through the glass darkly. The thoughts were a bit noisy and clogged up my brain. I couldn't shut them completely off when I entered the temple and that turned out to be OK. For as I was pondering on those thoughts, other thoughts, thoughts that generated more understanding and growth, soon crowded out the previous thoughts.

As I sat down for the session I noted how many women were there with just a handful of men. I wondered to myself what would happen if there were no men available for a session? Would the session be cancelled? No, probably not. There are always men in the temple; it just might mean that a man who hadn't planned on doing an endowment session was called in to serve during the session. And the session wouldn't go on without men, just as it wouldn't go on without women. Heavenly Father has made it clear that both men and women are necessary in the temple. Each holds a unique and significant role.

Once that thought was settled, I focused a bit more than usual on the words of the endowment session. Full admission here: sometimes my mind wanders far from what I am supposed to be paying attention to during the session and I'm really just going through the motions of the whole process. Words that I have heard many times before struck me in a different way today. The things that I learn in the temple are for my own salvation and path back to Heavenly Father. I make the choice on how I will fulfill the obligations and covenants I make in the temple.

Then there were some thoughts on covenants and our Heavenly Father's grace He extends to us. I learned some things about Eve today that I hadn't really paid attention to before. Some of what I learned was in a blog post I read before attending the temple today and some was taught to me as my spirit communed with the Holy Ghost in the temple and was thinking about the blog post. It was fascinating to me today that I finally saw that Heavenly Father offered Eve the first chance to repentant, not Adam. Yes, Eve partook of the fruit first, but that sin was not any greater than Adam's so all should have been equal. Yet, Eve was granted pardon first. I don't want to get bogged down in why it had to be done through Adam. Right now, that doesn't matter much to me although I know it causes hurt and confusion for some LDS women. I just was touched that Eve was forgiven first.

As we approached the part in the endowment about the crucifixion of Christ my mind turned to a Facebook post I had read this morning regarding nails, boards, priesthood and women. As I thought about what the young man had shared regarding a single nail not being strong enough to hold something in place, that another nail is needed to hold things secure, my heart was touched that this is exactly what Christ's crucifiers had done. They drove two spikes; the first into his hands and the second into his wrist. Both were necessary to keep him on the cross. Now I realize that this analogy might break down a bit, but I don't pretend to be a great philosopher. But if the first nail represents the priesthood (and by extension, men), then one could view the second nail as women. One without the other cannot support the load. Okay, I'm drifting a bit here because I don't want to imply that one cannot "nail" themselves to Christ without someone else; but I do see how two nails, working together, can provide strength in keeping each other connected to Christ. In the LDS church, we don't focus much on the meaning of the cross and Christ hanging on the cross so I may be making a total mess of that analogy and if the cross is viewed as a positive or negative in other denominations. If it's a negative, well then the whole analogy breaks down before it even gets going. But whatever. It worked in my mind for my learning and understanding.

Then the session ended and I was left again thinking about covenants; the covenants I had made. The covenants Kate Kelly, the founder of OW, had made. With her excommunication, she was released from those covenants and the responsibilities associated with them. I was again struck by the wisdom of the 14-year old boy who had composed the Facebook post and his observation
Excommunication is a way God shows his love erasing your covenants you made with him so you will not be condemned by them in the end. It allows you to start over.
Whew, it was a day full of learning for me. My spirit needed it. And as usually happens with learning, once one concept/thought has been settled, another pops up. So next time I go to the temple, I'll have more things to contemplate.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

A Strange Dream

Do you remember dreams? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. The ones that seem to stick are the ones that occur close to my normal wake-up time and are somewhat strange. This morning's dream was one that stuck.

I had travelled with my mom and Katelyn to a large city (I think it was Vegas). I had a huge hotel suite to be shared with Katelyn. For some reason, once we arrived my mom had to leave to go get my dad. This required her to rent a car and drive to get him. Katelyn also decided that she wanted to go and visit my Aunt Shirley (my grandma's sister who used to live in Orem. I'm not sure if she is even still alive). Anyway, the dream meanders through a couple of days where I bump into Spokane-area friends at a gym I am working out at. I never visit the Vegas strip--probably because I really have no frame of reference for that since I have never been to Vegas. At one point I return to the hotel suite while the housekeeping staff are in the room. I remember feeling embarrassed about the state of the room. There seemed to be lots of clothes and shoes all over the floor; all of them Katelyn's. At that point in time it dawns on me that I have no idea where Katelyn is. I haven't heard from her and quite honestly I had forgotten all about her. My mom had arrived back at the suite (sans my dad which was weird) and I asked her "Do you think I should be freaking out yet that I have no idea where Katelyn is and that I haven't hear from her?" We thought about tracking her phone via GPS, but before we could do anything I woke up.

Do you try to find meaning in your dreams or view them as premonitions? I can't say that I really do either one. Most of the time, I just think "hmmm, that was strange" and leave it at that. I find that trying to find meaning or a message in my dreams just drives me crazy. But I woke up from this dream feeling so guilty for it taking me 3 days to remember that Katelyn had accompanied us on the trip to begin with and that I hadn't heard anything from her. Furthermore, I'm not sure I would have even noticed that she hadn't been around if I hadn't been so embarrassed by her clothes and shoes that were all over the room when the housekeeping staff came into clean. That is what bothers the most about this dream--I forgot Katelyn. Ugh, mother fail AGAIN.

Man, today I wish that there weren't such strict regulations around communication with our missionaries. It would be wonderful to hear her voice today and know that she is safe and sound.

Monday, June 23, 2014

"Oh, She Doesn't Even Blog Anymore"

Those were the words that Carson uttered the other day after his dad told him that their conversation (or maybe it was just something Carson said) was blog-worthy. I was sad when Carson stated the obvious fact that my blogging has slacked off significantly. Of course the truth stings a bit, especially when I have no good reason not to be blogging. I guess I didn't really realize how much my family (mostly David and Carson) missed my blog reflections of our every day life. And it really is too bad that I have missed not recording more of Carson's own special brand of snark.

I swear that kid just says things to get me stirred up. He learned quickly what will get me fired up and he definitely enjoys pushing my buttons. When he was younger I didn't find his snarkiness quite as funny as I do now. I'm not sure what that says about me; have I just given up or have we started to make the shift to the more adult-to-adult relationship that just occurs as kids move into older teen-age years? Perhaps I would still be intolerant of the quips if he were generally disrespectful and rude. But, he is a really good kid most of the time and almost always is grateful and loving. Those two characteristics can make up for almost all of his goading and ribbing.

I wish I could remember what he said the other night that prompted the title of this blog post, but here is something he said about a week ago that got me a little riled up. We had just finished watching Malificent and all of us were commenting how on unexpectedly good the movie was. I said that I was especially surprised since I don't usually enjoy Angelina Jolie. Carson asked why not and I didn't have a real good reason beyond "I think she was responsible for breaking up a marriage." To which Carson replied, "Come on, mom. He [Brad Pitt] just found someone he loved better." Of course that got me going on that is not at all how marriage works, you're in it for better or for worse, etc etc. Oh, you should have seem him shaking with laughter. And then I realized he had done it again. Sucked me in, pushed my buttons, and then sat back just to watch me react.

Oh that kid! And don't think he saves it just for me. Today his dad discovered that his deodorant was missing. Carson apparently took it with him to Washington DC. because he didn't feel like the deodorant he has been using was effective. Not only that, but he (Carson) "didn't even smell like himself"--his words--when he wore it. I must admit that I giggled a bit and felt a bit smug as I watched David be the recipient of a Carsonism this time.

So, here's to finding more ordinary things to blog about as a record of ordinary days being a blessing and happy.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Good Stuff

I was spiritually fed and uplifted today. These are the things that touched my heart today.
Do you recognize this picture? It is from The Lion King and is a picture of Simba as a baby. At one point in the movie, Simba is struggling to find happiness; he is searching for something more. An old friend, Rafiki, comes and reminds him of who he is. He reminds him that his father, Mufasa, lives within him. I thought of this scene when one of the speakers in sacrament meeting shared a quote from Joseph F. Smith that said successful fathers have children that permit them to live within their hearts (paraphrased because I can't find the exact quote--this is what distracted me in Sunday school). I was so struck by this quote. I believe that if I asked my children, they would feel this way about their father. They permit him to live in their heart and because of this they will always know who they are.

In Luke 22:43 we read Christ's words, pleading unto His Father "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done." Can you imagine the anguish that our Heavenly Father must have been going through as He watched His son struggling so mightily? And yet He knew, as Christ also knew, what was occurring in Gethsemane and what was still to come, must continue. So in His perfect and infinite love, He responded, "And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him."(vs 44) What a perfect example for earthly fathers to follow. There will be times that their children will struggle, will go through difficult experiences that will be important for growth and learning. Those experiences might be tough to watch, but the father can stand by his child, lifting and encouraging, acting as an angel from heaven to strengthen his child.

We had a special visitor today at church. Sister Carole Stephens, First Counselor in the General Relief Society. Her message during sacrament meeting was short and sweet. She shared a few memories of her father. She then shared a thought she had as she watched the young men pass the sacrament. She was struck by how the priests extend their arm to the deacons to symbolically pass Christ to those deacons. The deacons then take those symbols (the bread representing Christ's body and the water representing the blood of Christ) and extend their arms to the congregation to pass along Christ. As members of the congregation we gratefully accept these symbols, thus accepting Christ into our bodies and souls. Since we have been blessed to have Christ with us, we should extend our arms to others to share this blessing of Christ in our lives.

I love Sunday's like this, where church doesn't feel like a 3-hour bore.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

He Graduated!...Or Did He?

Last Saturday was a happy day.  It was warm and sunny, almost no wind. The birds were singing. It was a perfect spring day. And it was made even better because we were able to watch Carson graduate from high school.


Well, we thought we were watching him graduate.  As it turns out, the diploma  holder that he is holding was empty because

he had an unpaid fine.

That kid! He knew about the fine on Friday before graduation but he didn't have the $10 to pay the fine and even after his dad and I gave him the $10, he decided he didn't feel like driving back to the school, because, you know it is all of a 3 mile drive. Good grief. He did go to the school yesterday and paid his fine (or so he says), but I have yet to see the actual diploma.

Still, we are very proud of him. High school had some ups and downs for Carson and he might have attended the school of hard knocks a couple of times. But in the end, he buckled down, found his motivation, and finished strong. We know that the lessons learned during these last 4 years will be good reference points and help him be a good college student. His dad and I are looking forward to seeing what he can accomplish at North Idaho College.

Love you very much Carson.

PS Can see the actual diploma, please?

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Mama Duck...I Learned a Thing or Two Watching Her


Last Thursday was a beautiful spring day and I was able to accompany a group of 1st graders to Liberty Lake County Park. Towards the end of the visit I was down on the beach with some of the first graders. Under this large weeping willow tree, along the shoreline, was this mama duck and her babies. Of course the kids noticed them; some were happy just to watch the mama and her babies and others wanted to chase after them. Fortunately, the other adults and I were able to convince the chasers to join the other on-lookers to just watch the little duck family.

First graders have a short attention span so the chaos that they were bringing to this mama duck and her babies was short-lived. But as I watched the mama during the chaos I noticed how calm she remained. She stood guard and watched the situation closely but she didn't freak out. There was no wing-flapping or "yelling". There wasn't even any scurrying to gather her ducklings and move them on. Instead that mama duck kept an eye on things, quacked quiet little instructions to her brood and then let them continue on in their learning of how to forage for food. It really was a sweet scene.

Later that day as I interacted with a human mother, my thoughts returned again to the mama duck and the scene I had witnessed earlier in the day. Unlike the mama duck, this human mama has a tendency to squack, flap her wings and at times, suffocate her children so much so that they are afraid to venture out of her protective shadow. And I wondered who was providing a more nurturing environment?

Yesterday I had another opportunity to think about the mama duck. I thought about how she gave her ducklings the chance to learn and grow, to explore, to have experiences. She didn't rush right over and intervene when some of the kids got too close. She let the ducklings figure out how to deal with that potential threat. But she also didn't leave them completely alone. As I said before, the whole time the children were in the vicinity of the ducklings, she was quacking quiet little signals. She was raising ducklings to become wise, independent ducks.

I tried to remember the attitude of the mama duck as Carson set off on a 12 mile hike by himself. I wasn't completely comfortable with the idea, mostly because I wasn't sure that I had provided him with enough hiking skills to be prepared. But as my brother, Nathan, reminded me on a Facebook post "[Carson] will be fine. He's got enough sense to know if he starts to get into trouble." Nathan then said " So, go enjoy your day and trust that he will be enjoying his."

And go enjoy my day is just what I did. Because I knew that I (and David) had been successful in raising a wise, independent boy and as long as he kept his ear tuned to the soft, quiet promptings of the Spirit he would be just fine.